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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Use of strollers

98 replies

Alliepally · 18/02/2007 20:07

Posted a message earlier regarding getting my 4 year old dd around disney without her stroller which we abandoned at Christmas - went cold turkey. This prompted some discussion regarding use of stroller (or non-use) with dh. I thought it was going okay, she is managing to walk around the farm, zoo, etcshops with little complaining but dh tells me tonight that his mother, who looks after dd one day a week, is struggling without it and would like the stroller back. I am really reluctant and think that if dd has the stroller once a week then she may complain with me when I make her walk. Need advice - feel like the baddie!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CorrieDale · 18/02/2007 20:10

I'd say no to the stroller, full stop, but then I'm a mean horrible mummy and DS will no doubt tell me so once his language skills are up to it.

chipkid · 18/02/2007 20:11

she doesn't need a stroller at this age. She should be encouraged to walk in my view.
persevere-she'll be at school soon

Themis · 18/02/2007 20:11

Why is she struggling without it ? Does she have to carry DD ? Perhaps your MIL has nothing to hang her shopping on ?

I would ask why your MIL needs it obvioulsy not your DD. I wouldn't go back to having a buggy , will set yourself up for no end of problems I feel with your DD.

daisy26 · 18/02/2007 20:13

I'm not a parent,but with out the stroller it helps them to know that they will have to walk, and at 4 years old that'd fine. I know where your coming from, but if they have the stroller even just once a week I think it may cause hassle and they will depend on that. Do u hold ure childs hand, or do you have one of those lead things where your attached to eachother and ot stretches a bit, they are very useful. Obv when they r young they are going to complain about the walking, but u just have to let them know that they a big girl/boy now and don't need their stroller nemore

Hulababy · 18/02/2007 20:14

Although I said yes to a buggy for Disney at this age (almost essential IME to be honest) for rest of the time I would say no buggy at 4yo.

Original poster

Alliepally · 18/02/2007 20:18

In answer to Themis - think that dd plays up a bit with her especially on a small hill between her house and her dd's grandfathers house. Doesn't ever have to carry her - don't think that she could. She doesn't drive which doesn't help but gets buses here there and everywhere. To be honest I haven't had chance to talk about it with her - maybe I need to!! I am reluctant however as I think that she would just like the easy way out - to have the stroller back!

OP posts:

clayre · 18/02/2007 20:18

i don't know how you can push a 4 year old in a buggy, my dd is 4 and i would struggle, ds is 22 months and he hardly uses the buggy, we're not taking our buggy on hols but may hire one if we think he needs one.
Will she not wear reins?

Bozza · 18/02/2007 20:19

Hmm while I personally don't think that a 4yo should need a stroller unless there is some sort of special needs or physical limitation I am not sure that you couldn't have different rules at your MILs. Why is your MIL struggling? 4yos generally are able to differentiate between the rules at home and at Grandma's. Could you leave the buggy permanently at your MILs so when you go out with DD the option is simply not there?

tassis · 18/02/2007 20:19

My ds is 4 in April and would still happily sit in his stroller if I let him (and let's face it it does make shopping a whole lot easier).

We pretty much never let the wee guy in it anymore but I do think i'd make exceptions for certain trips, late nights on holiday etc etc.

The folk I know who'd be adamant that a 3 yo shouldn't sit in a stroller aren't generally doing long walks with them...It's hard, if I let him sit in the stroller we could walk 30 mins into town (great exercise for me!), but I don't think I can expect him to walk that far yet...or at least if he did he'd collapse on arrival which somewhat defeats the purpose...

Why does your MIL want it? Does she do a particularly long walk with your dd? Could dd use a bike or scooter or push a doll's pram instead?

isaidno · 18/02/2007 20:20

Age 4 is too old for a buggy, I agree.

And if Disney is a problem I think you can hire them at the park? Then it becomes a special exception - not going back on a decision.

Original poster

Alliepally · 18/02/2007 20:22

MIL is struggling I think because dd gets wingey when she has to walk any distance, especially up hills. My view is that this is temporary. It is not that she is unable - I have just witnessed her having 2-3 hour skiing lessons!! When she is with me on occasions she will say she is tired and then the next second is running around when she has spotted something interesting!

OP posts:

tassis · 18/02/2007 20:25

sounds a bit like you've just answered your own questions alliepally (and I'm the one who thinks a 4yo in a stroller is not that bad!)

Hulababy · 18/02/2007 20:25

Hiring a buggy at Disney every day would be dearer than buying a cheap buggy here (or there(. The exeption rule thing has never been a problem here. DD hasn't used a buggy generally since being way older than 4, but did use on at Disney at age 4. Never asked for it on return thoug - was only used on holiday in Disney because it was such long hard hot days.

3andnomore · 18/02/2007 20:25

hm...with first ds we ditched the Buggy when he was 3 1/2, until then he seemed dependent on it, lol...but, I suppose because we ditched it when we moved countrtys so much was going on, he probably didn't notice.
With ms and ys, who are 21 m apart...my now 4 and a bit year old, will, if he sometimes can use the Buggy to sit in, but if ys idecides he wants it, he will happily stand on the bar in the back, but walking, he finds it hard at times...although, has gotten loads better and will walk loads, and ys seems the keenest to be out of Buggys, lol, and tends to walk loads because he loves it!
Anyway, I do believe that no Kid will sit forever in teh Buggy, and yes, it would be worth finding out the reasons for your mil...I mena, the shopping part is part of the reason why I am soooo happy to use my Buggy still, lol....will have to start using an old ladies trolley when my ds's don't want to know anymore...anyone know where you can decent looking ones, lol

3andnomore · 18/02/2007 20:26

x-posted

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:27

You can't make a schoolgirl sit in a pushchair because grandma is struggling without it, sorry.

motherinferior · 18/02/2007 20:29

Four year olds in buggies?

Come to that, I find three year olds in buggies pretty weird. My three year old walks around half a mile first thing every morning. It's fab.

staceym11 · 18/02/2007 20:30

i too would say 4 is too old for a buggy. i tried desperately to get my 2yo walkign before ds was born so i didnt need a double buggy. however she didnt start walking till 18 months it wasn't going to work. but even now (ds is 3 month) she rarely uses the buggy unless already tired, in a hurry for an appointment, not behaving or its raining. it does take us an hour to do a ten minute journey but i think its worth it to get her confidence up. the buggy is obviusly there if she wants it (as its a double) but rarely does she ask to go in it. i think by the time ds is big enough to sit in our single stroller (between 9month-1yr) i won't bother with the double at all as she shuold be walking full time (and i dont drive, so wherever we go is walk/bus!)

i think you better talk to your mil and explain that your dd is 4 and yes she may complain but she is perfectly capable of walking and it is good for her, end of discussion!

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:32

The thing is, they will be tired at first. But if you always let them stop the very second they are tired, they will build no stamina and will always be tired. They will still be tired at 10 if you let them stay in a pushchair that long.

My ds was foisted out of his at bang on age 3, and he moaned and whinged about tiredness - then, like the op says, as soon as something was interesting enough, he was up and running.

He is now 3.10 (4 in April) and we walk for MILES. We don't have a car. So I am one of those people who has always made the three year old walk, and walk distances that tire me as well as him. They mostly don't need it.

Also, if she gets the buggy with granny, she will play Merry Hell when you make her walk.

Original poster

Alliepally · 18/02/2007 20:32

Thanks everyone. Going to talk to dh now and mil in the morning. NO Stroller!!!!!!!

OP posts:

liquidclocks · 18/02/2007 20:34

At age 4 I was doing lovely long walks in the lakes with my grandparents

I'd talk to MIL about why you've done it, that walking will help DD improve her ability to walk more and that by bringing the buggy back you're sending the wrong message.

Also perhaps talk to her about what she says to DD as in don't say things like 'I bet yu'd like your stroller now' (if she does) and also talk to DD and tell her that she's not to complain when walking with her grandma. Perhaps you could point out that the nation has to encourage it's kids to be healthier and fitter and you see this as good experience for DD

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:35

No, tell grandma that dd's friends are teasing. She will never ever want her grand child in a buggy again!

Bozza · 18/02/2007 20:38

Like motherinferior's DD when DS was 3, I was on maternity leave from having DD. I used to walk with the pram (containing DD) to nursery to collect him, and at 5pm after a full day at nursery he would walk up hill a good half mile home. Although admittedly he would drag on the pram a bit on the steep bits. I was surprised that he didn't winge but he actually enjoyed it.

fireflighty · 18/02/2007 20:39

Depends what your MIL's needs are, really. If she's providing free childcare, and is not that fit, and finds it easier still to have the buggy sometimes, then you're in a tricky position insisting she doesn't use it at all (though I think you'd be well within your rights insisting that the times your dd spends in it should be getting increasingly fewer and further between). I know when I was heavily pregnant I found going out with a buggy a big help even though ds (then 4yo) hardly ever sat in it. It didn't cause us any problems in terms of him refusing to walk in general, but I relied on it a lot for putting shopping in, for instance.

If it's any comfort, think about how most children have to get used to making journeys sometimes by car and sometimes on foot. We don't usually worry about them refusing to walk if we ever take them anywhere by car - we just say, as the adults, "today we're walking" and they get used to putting up with that!!

If it was me I'd find out what your MIL's needs are and perhaps give her a little bit more time to get used to managing without the stroller, if she genuinely needs it. I wouldn't worry at all about the inconsistency causing problems - a 4yo is just as capable of understanding "we don't take the stroller, the stroller is only for thursdays at nana's, and you only sit in it in X shop" (or whatever) as she is of walking.

colditz · 18/02/2007 20:42

Well then how does grandma cope when she isn't looking after the little girl if she can't cope without a pushchair to lean on?

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