Use of strollers

[Alliepally]

Posted a message earlier regarding getting my 4 year old dd around disney without her stroller which we abandoned at Christmas - went cold turkey. This prompted some discussion regarding use of stroller (or non-use) with dh. I thought it was going okay, she is managing to walk around the farm, zoo, etcshops with little complaining but dh tells me tonight that his mother, who looks after dd one day a week, is struggling without it and would like the stroller back. I am really reluctant and think that if dd has the stroller once a week then she may complain with me when I make her walk. Need advice - feel like the baddie!!

I should let your MIL use the stroller for your daughter. It is only once a wekk and you can say it is just to help Granny ( or whatever youcall her). I don't think 4 is to old to use a stroller occansionly. We used a stoller round disney whem DD3 was 5. This was because we spent long hours there and she tired very easily.

we stopped using the stroller for ds when he was nearly four and he was fine is five now and can walk the half mile into town etc although he will winge a bit at times (only when dad is there for a piggy back)

how about saying to your mil that dd can use her bike/trike or a scooter or something when she takes her out

if you have the stroller back one day a week i bet it will make your life unbearable

also you don;t want mil thinking she can have her own way

Walking half a mile without whining at 5yrs old is hardly worth a pat on the back!!!

feel a bit sorry for your mil - maybe she could drive more with your dd instead? I suspect your dd is playing her up more than she does you and I know from experience what a pita it can be having a whinging whining 4 year old refusing to walk up a hill so I don't blame her at all for wanting to keep going a while longer with the stroller. if you kept it at mil's house, then I bet your dd wouldn't complain when she goes walking with you without the stroller. she'll probably stop using the stroller soon enough with your mil anyhow once she's got used to walking everywhere else more

how about a scooter?

blimey... my 16-month-old walks a mile to the park, runs around for an hour and then walks a mile back and throws a screaming fit if I try and strap him into the buggy

actually walking half a mile up a steep hill and was actually joking about the whinging

butthen we can't all be perfect

oh and forgot to add that he actually has a hernia atthe moment and we walk everywhere as we don't have a car

again apologies is this is not good enougth for some

Maybe a tricycle with a handle would help grandma. She could get exercise pedaling it and if she is really tired then grandma can push. You can get one from ToysRus or Woolworths.

It would be a buggy without being a buggy

DD1 walked at 11 months and hasn't stopped since. She has not been near a buggy since her 2nd birthday which I have to say pleases me. It is more hassle to take a buggy out shopping heaving it up steps etc than having to do a little gentle parenting to keep DD walking with me. She is now 3yrs 1 month and walks perfectly with me( most of time!)
Children need exercise dare I mention our little problem of obesity in this country which starts with our children laying down fat cells now.
Ban the buggy! Get our children fit.

Oh no, I feel myself being sucked in.

Won't read rest of thread, it will just set me off again.

I don't think any child is "too old" for a stroller. We parents may get too tired to push them around, but let's not kid ourselves that we kick them out of strollers for their benefit -- we do it for ours.

If Alliepathy's MIL wants to use a stroller, I can't see any harm in it. Tell your DD that it's only for use at Granny's house by Granny, if you don't want to use one at home, any more. No discussion or negotiation on it.

DD is 5 and still jumps in stroller when vacated by her little brother; I don't have a problem with it. The only person who calls DD "baby" for her stroller habit is 7yo DS -- he's jealous that he's not allowed in any more (he's too heavy, wears the wheels out).

We spend so much time in society berating parents for letting their children grow up too quickly, and the rest of the time telling our kids they should be more independent. That being a baby is "BAD".

Why TF is it "bad", can someone tell me?? You can't have it both ways; either you let your children grow up at their own pace or you give them the message that they should always be trying to be more mature, that depending on us parents and not wanting to cope on their own is "babyish" -- and therefore "BAD".

...Wonders off for sedatives...

pbk...my sentiments exactly!

Thanks, 3+more.

Some people, especially children, their energy comes in waves (peaks and troughs). So when they feel full of beans, they are litterally bouncing off the walls. Children live in the present. When they are tired they are utterly exhausted, just breathing is almost too much effort. Plenty of adults are like this, too, if adults have trouble pacing themselves, why do we expect children to manage their energy to fit in with our timetabled lifestyles? It isn't biologically normal.

absolutely

Hi, I'm new . I have to admit I have always found the use of strollers by older kids slightly weird...surely it never used to be this way?

My mum had 9 kids and we walked everywhere (as people carriers had not been invented), now I do the same with my ds (19 mths), (I choose not to drive), and am already weaning him off the stroller unless we are out on long trips.

Have you considered stroller alternatives.....such as a tricycle?? We have a trike with a parent handle (a berchet one with a buggy style handle which is v.comfy to push and removable later on)

In my experience - kids love bikes ;)

"if adults have trouble pacing themselves, why do we expect children to manage their energy to fit in with our timetabled lifestyles? It isn't biologically normal."

Some people are extremely unfit, excessive use of a stroller does not teach a child how to pace themselves or build up their muscles.

In many countries in Africa people do not use strollers. It is not practical to carry a four year old in a sling.

I think that a child without special needs using a buggy at the age of four is as unacceptable as a child wearing day time nappies.

My son had a child physio to help with his walking up to the age of three and half years old. We completely got rid of his stroller at four years and two months. It was hard, but it really improved his walking.

Define 'excessive use of a stroller' though... I get the feeling some people posting in this thread simply don't trust other people to own a stroller or use it occasionally without using it excessively. Yet for adults (especially those without cars) who are regularly walking long distances and shopping with small children, strollers can be extremely useful, and make longer trips out much more feasible. They can be used to put all the shopping, library books etc. in (personally I regularly come home with 10 or so new library books at a time, and I shop for food nearly every day on foot, and only rarely in one big weekly trip), and yes any small tired child can sit down, but just because they can sit down doesn't mean the parent is going to let them do so at the first tiny whinge. Why do some people posting in this thread seem not to trust parents/carers to control the use of a pushchair appropriately?

I'm amazed that it's seen as so black and white. I have a very fit ds who has always walked a lot but occasionally sat in a buggy till he was over four, and when his sibling arrived (i.e. any pram we took out had the baby in it), it made no noticeable difference to how well he walked, because he walked a lot anyway despite the fact that his buggy had come out with us on many trips till he was that age.

Simply taking a buggy out of the house on a trip with a small child doesn't mean the child has to even sit it in every time, let alone that they'll spend most of their time in it rather than just a little bit, and nor does it mean that the parent/carer has somehow lost their mind and decided their child has no need to learn to walk or to take exercise. Taking a buggy out and having a fit healthy child who walks a lot are quite simply not mutually exclusive options! (Quite the reverse in fact, for some people.)

Do you think it is OK for four year olds to wear nappies during the day, or use a dummy to make the parent's/ carer's life easier? Would you let your four year old sleep in a cot. At what age do you risk taking down safety gates on the stairs.

There is a balance between pressurising a child to grow up to quickly and keeping them as a baby.

But that doesn't follow - those examples aren't the same. Who says having a buggy available out with a child is just to make a parent's life easier?

The bottom line is, there are places we walked to that we could not walked to at that time without having a stroller with us, whether or not my son actually sat in the stroller that day. Those are walks that he could not have taken, without the buggy being there for shopping etc. and as an emergency backup. How is that possibly the same as keeping him a baby? There is a world of difference between a four-year old occasionally sitting in a pushchair and him being sat in it all day - I'm not sure why this difference is so hard to see. There was nothing babyish about the times he sat in his pushchair - either he was asleep, or he was looking at a story book and having a snack - basically a stop that would have happened anyway, he just happened (at times, not every time) to have some stops in a seat that was being moved. And whenever possible, he was walking along next to the pushchair and not in it at all.

Would you stop a child from sleeping at that age, from having a nap? And if he was to have one, would you see it as harmful for him to have it in a pushchair, but OK to have it lying down at home?

I'm not sure why you are so untrusting of other parents' motives and abilities that you can't conceive of a pushchair being used in in a way that isn't damaging to the child, in fact in a way that can be positively beneficial to them. At the end of the day, all it is is a seat with wheels and a basket. Do you feel the same way about parents who pick their children up? Would you say that if his dad picks my son up at the end of a long day then he's babying him and might as well be keeping him in nappies?

Remember, the OP here was about a carer who wanted a stroller to be available - no one afaik is arguing for regularly taking four-year olds out in pushchairs and keeping them in there as a basic way of getting them around. But the idea that having a stroller available at all with a four-year old can only ever be harmful and must invariably lead to unfitness etc. is one I have to disagree with based on my own experience.

Fireflightly, but it is a parenting issue...surely it must be black and white ;) (tongue in cheek)
Maybe we should forbid every adult the use of a car full stop then...I eman, afterall, one could cycle, walk, run or whatever "everywhere"...
totally agree with all you said Fireflightly!
Frances..., I assume you find it acceptable if people use a car for shopping (even smaller shops)? If so...surely that is more of a cop out, taking the easy way, then walking the way, BUT have the availability of a Buggy just in case?
As for Nappy's, surely there are circumstances, where there sometimes isn't another choice, and I am not talking SN Kids...but forinstance my 4 year old has constipation issues, and there are times where he will have to wear a nappy, 4 year old or not...age does not come into that!
Dummies...admittedly, I feel there is age when I personally don't like it, however...again it does depend on the child, and is not always about the parent...some children need more comfort than others...people always make a fuss about dummys, but other comofrt articles seem to be less offending...blankies etc...!
As with everything in parenting, we have to make our own Risk assesments, taking into account our own children, their ability, our circumstances...surely it isn't for anyone else to say what is acceptable and what not....obviously I am not talking about extreme cases, now, lol!
Encouraging a child towards independency is, in my opinion vital, pressurising them into it is, iimo, unacceptable...!

Frances - given that it looks as though we both used pushchairs for our sons up until past four (you said yours used one till 4 years 2 months, I think), and your son's walking improved after you stopped, but my son's didn't change, do you think it's possible that we were using our pushchairs in different ways before we stopped? Maybe you were letting your ds sit down in the pushchair too much, and not encouraging him to walk enough, and that's why his walking improved when it wasn't available. Maybe not everyone would need to actually get rid of the pushchair to get the same effect - maybe some children are also keener to walk than others.

I'm just wondering if it's possible that there's enough variation in the ways in which people use pushchairs, the types of journeys they make and what they need to carry, how much whinging they'll tolerate before letting a child sit down, their children's personalities and so on, to allow for a world in which some people can continue to own and occasionally use pushchairs even after their children are past four, without actually damaging those children in any way at all?

Have a look at this 'light-hearted' article on the subject from theonion.com - it made me smile. It seems stroller use at age 4 is nothing to worry about after all......

www.theonion.com/content/node/25512

(Sorry I couldn't link to it properly)

lol