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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Mummy do it mummy do it mummy do it ....!

20 replies

griff30 · 17/02/2007 14:09

My 2 year old generally is well behaved but in the last few weeks has become obsessive about who is to change his nappy, push his buggy, get him dressed, (usually I have to do everything) if I put my foot down it results in the worst tantrum i have ever seen, he cries so much he is almost sick, I have ignored him for 30 mins like this, but then give in. Is it a phase? do i put my foot down every time and deal with the tantrum to make a point, or just go with the flow until the phase passes, any help would be appreciated.

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colditz · 17/02/2007 14:17

Ok.

I would say, either say yes straightaway, or stick to your guns with no.

Because having him scream for 30 minutes then you say yes just means he is learning that if he screams, you will give in.

I think the 'Mummydoitmummydoitmummydoit' thing is very norml, especially with little boys.

he will be much nicer as he turns 3.

Original poster

griff30 · 17/02/2007 14:23

I had a horrible wrestling match with him trying to get his trousers on yesterday, he had lost it and to be honest I had too, eventually it took both my hubby and me to get them on... I felt awful but not sure what the alternative is

OP posts:

colditz · 17/02/2007 15:10

Well, you could follow a very gentle option of persuasions and explanations.

Or you could just hold him down and do it.

1/2 hour after he will probably not even know what happened.

2 year olds are vile, it's nothing you are doing wrong.

edam · 17/02/2007 15:14

Oh, I remember that phase well. The next one is 'I do it on my self' which takes ten times longer. Sorry!

colditz · 17/02/2007 15:26

Ha yes "I want do it by mine own!!!"

Wheelybug · 17/02/2007 15:27

DD - also 2 - insists on certain people doing certain things. Thankfully at weekends its DH as he doesn't really see her during the week. So I guess a phase (which works quite well for me at the moment at weekends ).

fireflyfairy2 · 17/02/2007 15:28

Yep "mine self" is a very common phrase here these days

PinkTulips · 17/02/2007 15:30

dd is 2 as well and in exactly the same phase.... only mama can put her to bed or do her bath and only daddy can do most other things. it's annoying but we roll with it for the most part as when there's only one of us it's not an issue as she'll let the other parent do the jobs they're not normally allowed to.

had to laugh the other day when her teacher went to put her coat on and she snatched it back and handed it to me with a cross little look at the teacher

PinkTulips · 17/02/2007 15:32

'sasa do it' is becoming more common here too but luckily not with anything too complicated yet

Original poster

griff30 · 17/02/2007 18:40

Wow thanks so much everyone, as I dont have a big support network it is great to know I 'm not alone !!

OP posts:

adath · 17/02/2007 19:02

I read just last week that this is a common stage for toddler to go through and in the next breath they will change the person that they want to do everything for them. This article said it was an important stage to go through as it was their way of learning about different relationships and getting to know individuals better and the reason it is so concentrated was that they needed to so it this way to absorb all the information they are looking for.

slim22 · 19/02/2007 11:48

Same with DS, 3 year old.
I keep encouraging him to do things by himself, but it's hard work.Give lots of praise when he pulls up trousers or puts shoes on by himself etc...and it makes him very happy.He can do it, but will never take the initiative. Guess it's an age thing.
However, one thing really annoys me because it hurts my husbands feelings. How do I get him to do things with his dad without drama???
When he is on his own with him, it's ok, but when I'm around, it's like no, not you, mummy will do it!
I know it's because we spend more time together, and I keep telling DH not to take exception, but I know he still feels hurt.

madmarchhare · 19/02/2007 11:55

DS is just 3 and has started this with me. I start off with explaining that its ok for daddy to do it etc.. and if that doesnt work I walk away and DH deals with it.

I have seen SIL become her DSs slave, leaving her DH incredibly frustrated. THey have another baby due soon. I shudder to think how she is going to manage.

So, it isnt going to happen in this house. Over the last week or so we have already seen an improvement

slim22 · 19/02/2007 14:39

thanks MMH.
I also walk away.Poor DH has to deal with whinging but that's the only solution that seems to work.
They spend so little time together.I just wish DH did not have to go through those first 10 minutes. Funny thing is after these first 10 mn. it's like, no mummy, go back to your book, I'm playing with my dad now!

Othersideofthechannel · 19/02/2007 14:41

Slim22, sounds like you need to have a little girl so that in a couple of years time it's 'Daddy do it' all the time! That's what it's like in our house anyway

ComeOVeneer · 19/02/2007 14:42

WE are alternating between ds wanting me to do everything (he told dh to "get out, want mummy" the other morning when he went to get him up - this was steadfastly ignored and dh dealt with him) and "self" which is so slow and tedious. The joys of 2 year olds.

slim22 · 19/02/2007 15:06

can't wait for the little girl!

IamBlossom · 19/02/2007 19:12

Slim22, we have exactly the same problem here, DS1 2.5 won't let DH do anything for him, and he takes it really personally. We are slooooowly coming out the other side, Dh will still meet a wall of resistance with the first attempt to do anything for him instead of me, but he will now allow himself to be persuaded, and DH can do bedtime story. bathtime is another matter, but I do think the route is to insist...

yomellamoHelly · 19/02/2007 19:46

Ds1 is like this. Also started at around 2. (He is now 3 1/4.) Stems from dh not pulling his weight around the place from when ds1 was tiny, basically, and leaving me to do everything. Every so often he'll summon up the energy for being hands-on-dad for a little while but because he hasn't been for so long ds now won't allow it. The few things that we have shared responsibilty for in the past (e.g. bedtime stories or taking him out for chocolate cake for a couple of hours every so often - the fun stuff [grrr...]) are still up for sharing, though.
Am resigned to going with the flow. I read that around age 7 men become assume a much bigger part of their (boys) lives but until then it's usually mummy all the way.

hotlipsmummy · 22/02/2007 11:14

have read this thread with interest - my DS (nearly 21 months) has been alternating between "mummy do it" and "daddy do it" depending on his mood etc etc for weeks. Generally quite happy to go with the flow as DS doesn't seem to have a particular favourite but will be interesting once DC2 arrives in a few weeks... Sometimes he does say "no mummy/daddy" as a control thing but only if we are both around and frankly its not worth the tantrum...
DH has a habit of walking in the front door once DS is bathed and in his pjs ready for story time when DS says "muumy out, daddy story" - obviously fills my DH's heart with joy!! We've been lucky in that DH changed jobs last summer and was on a 3 month period of gardening leave so around alot and DS just loves him.

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