Help! my 2year olds tantrums are unbearable!

[MrsR31]

Hi!

I really need advice/reassurance. I have two kids, a girl aged 4 and a boy aged 2 (he's 3 very soon). The issue is his behaviour. For the last few months his tantrums have become unbearable! He blows up over nothing (this morning he blew up over not being first to have his teeth done), i'm talking full blown tantrum, on the floor, kicking, screaming, shouting and no one can talk him down - they can easily last for half an hour or more. This happens at least once a day, I'm honestly struggling to cope or see a light at the end of the tunnel. My 4year old did have tantrums, but I don't recall them being as bad as this and we used the naughty step with her which worked, it doesn't work with my 2 year old. We do use it, but doesn't have the same affect on him as it did for my daughter.

I work part time, and in all honesty, i'd rather be at work right now than at home having to deal with these tantrums, I feel utterly miserable about the whole thing.

I'm not sure I can offer much help, more sympathy really! I have a 4 and a 1 year old, and they both love a good meltdown. My eldest has always had epic ones and still does. I honestly think it's luck of the draw whether you have kids that have loads or kids that have hardly any. Sounds like your eldest was relatively chilled out so your DS is a bit of a shock. My 1 year old easily has daily meltdowns so I feel your pain. I just don't think you can do much about it other than just tough it out and try not to lose your marbles. Try all the usual stuff - distractions, offering a hug etc. then if nothing else just take yourself off somewhere quieter until the storm has blown through!

Yes he definitely was a shock! DH and I often say if we had had them the other way round, my daughter would have seemed like an angel child in comparison.

If we are at home I've just had to leave him to get on with it and let him come out of them himself but its really hard and draining. I'm hoping that this will get easier as he gets older.

I had one similar, OP. It was a shock and if he'd been born first I'm not sure there'd have been a second or third child!

Good news is he's now a happy well-adjusted studious 13 year old. He doesn't tantrum.

Dear god I thought he'd never stop. I remember one day he must've had about 12 tantrums. I even had to hire help because I thought I wa going to lose my mind. I did take professional advice from a psychologist who helped us not to inadvertently reinforce his tantrums but really it was a matter of him growing up.

Good luck with it all.

Also, developmentally he's on target?

Never underestimate the effect of sibling rivalry. My dc2 is aw some but extremely competitive and was the type of child to mentally count and compare how many roasties dc2 and dc3 got. I swear that many of her achievements were about her not being outdone by dc1.

You have my sympathy. Try to be consistent. It does get better.