DS (2.5) not listening to me at all, but jumps at anything dh says...

[MrsBigD]

ARGH comes to mind. I'm sure it's part of the terrible 2's and testing boundaries etc. But he's so annoying. Any suggestions how to deal with stubborn and very strong 2 year old very welcome.

Typical scenario:

DS does something he's not supposed to do.
I remove him with very affirmative NO
He runs back to continue
I slap his hand slightly and remove him
He runs back again
I slap his hand a bit harder twice and remove him
He runs back again
He gets slap on well padded behind
He runs back again
I physically pick him up and restrain him for a while counting to 10 - problem there is he's quite heavy and very strong so it's actually quite painful for me iykwim

This sort of works with a 50/50 success rate that after the last step he goes off and does something else

I've tried skipping right to the last stage but no success either

My mum told me I'm just not an authority figure... thanks mum!

Thats similar to my situation. My ds doesn't have a dad in his life so its only me doing the disapline. He couldn't give a toss about what i am saying to me. He is 2.1

When he is naughty he gets 2 warnings then i just put him in his room while he has his tantrum

my dp has started doing some of the disapline. He only sees his a couple of mornings and evenings a week. But my ds will do anything he says.

I think its the male voice thing. He's got him to the point where ds is too scared to be naughty when my dp is around as he knows what will happen.

but no matter how hard i try and what i do, ds is probably laughing inside at me!!

Instead of slapping his hand, try saying "No" in a stern voice.
You have to use a stern facial expression too or he wont believe you. When you have said no, then remove him.
When he goes back, do the same thing with even sterner voice and face, not shouting tho. And tell him that if he goes back again he will have to sit on the naughty step. 2 mins for 2 year old.
If he does it again, say no with voice and face very stern now, and say, I told you if you did that again you would have to sit on the naughty step. Then put him on the step.
If he gets off say with stern voice and face, No, you have to sit on the naughty step, etc.
even if he hollers.
When it's time to get off tell him again why you put him on there and that if he does it again he'll go back on.
Once he knows that you mean business just the threat should be enough, but you have to do it if you say you will, or he wont believe you.

I know you are probably worn out by the battle, but you need to keep going! Do you need to do the hand slapping thing? If he has gone to (eg.)touch a cup of tea, then it is easier to move things out of his way than tell him off for it - you could also try distracting him, such as 'we musn't do x, that's dangerous/hot/mummy's etc, let's go and do...'
If you want to be a hand slapping parent, you need to pick your moments - if you do it when he has put toast in the dvd player(for example) what are you going to do when he does something you consider higher on the 'naughty' scale?
PS how you discipline your child is entirely your choice and i do not want to sound preachy, apologies if i do

thanks for your responses I've been out most of the day.

Bandofmothers... the stern face and no is the first option an gets totally ignored... I never used to tap his hand but he's just gotten out of control.

As for naughty step... he knows what it is like and sometimes takes himself to it thinking it's a great joke...

I don't like slapping his hand or bottom but he does only seem to respond to me 'getting physical'