5 year old horrendous behaviour at bedtime

[NellysKnickers]

My 5 yr old ds is an absolute nightmare at bedtime, he's spending a good 45 mins - 2 hours running around waving his hands in air, coming out of room and going downstairs, just generally doing anything he perceives as naughty. I'm exhausted a feeling sick at the prospect of doing it all again tonight. He used to do this so I went out for bedtime every night and let dh do it, for the last few months we have taken turns but it's now horrendous again. He's got a reward chart as there is a particular item he wants and when he gets 5 stars he can have it, but even that's not encouraging good bedtime behaviour. It caused a row between dh and I last night and to be honest I don't even want to go home after work
DS1 is being affected by it all too.

What happens in the run up to bed time?Does he have a wind down routine? How is he at school? Do you have any other concerns about his behaviour?

How much exercise does he get and what is his appetite and diet like?

Have you talked to you GP/SENCO about it?

He has a bath, then TV and/or story and snuggle on sofa. Bed 7pmish 20 mins on tablet then countdown 15 5 2 1 minute. He gets plenty of fresh air and exercise. Have approached school re SENCO involvement but that was weeks ago and heard nothing back, not sleep related. He is a very bright and active child, maybe he needs more winding down time.......it's getting me down at the moment as I'm ill and am so exhausted in the evening, I just want to lay down and rest myself.

I'd suggest no tv/tablet before bed. Is it possible to do a morning bath/shower with a parent?

Our bedtime goes dinner, bathroom/teeth brushed, dressed, in bed for two stories while lying down, then cuddle to sleep.

Except for the aaaage spent messing around on the loo (toilet training) this works quite well for us.

7pm is pretty early, what time does he get up? Can he yet entertain himself in bed when he's not tired (ie can he read independently, or write or something)

Hes up at about 7. I'm fine with him quietly entertaining himself but it's the constant coming out of his room and being silly that winds me up. DH dealt with him tonight, he kept calling for me but I stayed away, he was asleep by 8.30. If we've been out in the fresh air all day he's fine, it's on school days or if we've been stuck at home it's worse. I go out with ds1 one night and week and ds2 is normally fast asleep by the time we get home at about 8, so he definitely plays up more when I'm here. I plan to tire him out tomorrow, lots of walking so fingers crossed.

Definitely no tablet before bed, screeens are known to be stimulating.
How about starting at 7.15 and do a bath, then into jammies for snuggle and story then bed.

Right, well your routine is all out, for a start.
He seems to be going to bed too early.
At 7pm let him watch something on TV, but turn main light off, turn volume down.
You, or DH pour a bath.
Child then in bath for 15 mins.
Once out the bath, it's snuggles, Pjs and stories in bedroom with a soft light on.
By 7.40pm he should be lying down, goodnight kiss and leave.

Screen time reknowned for over stimulation cut it out and see. I have a 4 year old who can be as frustrating as long as he stays upstairs I just sit and read until he has got it out of his system. Ignoring it makes him calm down

It, you may need to push it back another half hour, as he may not be tired enough. You need to put him to bed without stimulating him before he gets over tired.
Google circadian rhythms.

I think you'd find a huge difference if you cut out the iPad time
Quiet story instead so he unwinds with you there. Kiss goodnight and quietly out of the bedroom.
If he keeps coming down you keep calmly putting him back to bed without any talk or interaction. However many times you have to do this, by the end of a few days he'll have got the message.
'Keep calm and carry on'!

Interestingly, on the French supernanny, she tells them during the day that once they go to bed they are not allowed out the room. If they come out she reminds them and tells them that the next day they will be punished for it. The following day they get 5 minutes in the corner or wherever. So it's kind of trained into them in the daytime while they are alert and not tired and irritable if you see what I mean.

Yes the tablet is a bone of contention. It was never allowed but after a boutique if bedtimes it was tried in desperationew. It worked to start with, he would hand it over then turn over and drop off within 5 minutes but now.......not so much.

bout of bad times...........although boutique bedtimes sounds delicious quite pleasant

FFS BOUT OF BAD BEDTIMES

Bedtime too early

I would do no screen time after 6pm.
6-7.30pm dinner, quiet playing, drawing, books, puzzles
7.30pm bath or shower, pjs and teeth
8pm in bed. Read him a story, then allow him to look at books or read alone until 8.30pm when lights off

I know this is quite an old post but are you still having problems OP? We worked out that DSS was doing similar for attention. Each time he got up without a word we picked him up and put him back in his bed. We did this for an hour the first night and it was awful, he screamed and shouted like he was being murdered but he was just angry that his usual tricks weren't working. We out him back in his bed maybe 30 times without a word. Each night it took less time to get him to sleep and the 5th night he went straight down. But you and your partner need to agree on this and behave exactly tlt the same or your DS will realise that there is a 'way out'. Hope it's sorted by now and you havent lost the will to live!! X

Baths wind my 5yo DD up. Always have. Cue much excitement, splashing, trying to hold head under for 10 seconds etc etc. Drawing pictures together in bed seems to relax her quite well.... her bedtime is also 7.00-7.15.