Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My nearly 3 yr old dd has just driven me to shouting at her in the park.

26 replies

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 15:39

We were walking home from the shops in the pouring rain. DD is walking really, really slowly. I keep on telling her to hurry up so she stops and refuses to walk any further. I take her by the hand and she drops to the ground and starts screaming that her legs are hurt. her legs are fine because I was holding on to her whilst she 'fell'. It is pissing down with rain and we are both soaked and she is still refusing to walk. I cant carry her as I have the shopping and she is huge. So I shouted and predictably it did no good. I had to drag/carry her home and she is still crying I am still furious with her

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

auntymandy · 12/02/2007 15:41

Did you buy choccy biscuits?
Have one each and a drink..you'll both feel loads better!!!

PinkTulips · 12/02/2007 15:41

poor you...... they can be such obstinate little *@#%ers can't they?

{{{{hugs}}}} go get yourself a nice hot cuppa and leave her to whinge, she'll come looking for a cuddle with a sorry in a while once she realises she's not getting any sympathy

motherinferior · 12/02/2007 15:42

Oh you poor love, both of you.

Both of mine had phases of doing this. I am so sorry.

It does get better.

Cloudhopper · 12/02/2007 15:44

God it can be hard when they won't do as they're told.

I hate that feeling of losing your rag in public and thinking everyone is judging. But they might be thinking "there but for the grace of god go I".

nailpolish · 12/02/2007 15:44

its this fecking weather

if it was a lovely summers day everything would be 100 x better

i know how you feel carmernere ((hugs))

princessmel · 12/02/2007 15:44

Oh, sounds yuk . I've been there before lots of times and I feel for you.

I ditto PinkTulips post. Leave her to it and have a cuppa.

Calliope · 12/02/2007 15:48

Much sympathy. My 22 month old has just started doing this sort of thing and it's a bloody nightmare - especially as she's very big for her age and it doesn't do my back any good dragging her up from the floor when she's having a screaming fit. I don't blame you for shouting! it's exhausting.

Original poster

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 15:53

She is currently screeaming at me hysterically 'I AM A GOOD GIRL' 'I WANT A TREAT'.......

OP posts:

margo1974 · 12/02/2007 15:55

Do you know I used to look at these mums losing their rags with their kids and thinking "that would never be me"

It's me now - as soon as they learn that they can defy you, it's a whole different ball park.

And the slow thing - it infuriates me!

Sending you a big {{{{hug}}}}

PinkTulips · 12/02/2007 15:57

think she'll be waiting a while

dd has just stormed into the kitchen for no apparent reason and slammed the door at us so it must be in the air!

Original poster

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 15:57

OMG she has gone into brat overdrive, it's like she has saved up all her tantrums for today. Maybe it is just that I have put my foot down today but she is currently screaming 'please I watch Ceebeebies' even thought dss is doing his best to watch something else.
I need a hands over the ears emoticon

OP posts:

DominiConnor · 12/02/2007 15:59

Can't blame you for the shout.
Although it is stressful with DD screaming abou the treat, perhaps this is an opporutinty to get a message across.
At that age, they find it hard to let go of arguments, so I personally would say.
"You did not walk nicely today.
No treat".
She will presumably scream something, to which you calmy repeat the message.

Do this for a while, then break the deadlock by asking her if she will be good next time.
She still doesn't get a treat, and screaming is punished by putting her in her room or naught step.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 12/02/2007 15:59

()

KTeePee · 12/02/2007 16:00

I am finding the nearly three stage quite stressful too - ds2 has taken to wanting to go in the buggy at all times - even to go from the car to the house . Had a massive strop in the snow last week because I refused to take the buggy out to go to the park which is literally a 2 minute walk away....

I remember once when ds1 was about 3.5 I had to phone dh to come and meet us in town because there was no way I could get him home on my own....

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 12/02/2007 16:02

nope don't look like hand over ears emoticon, sorry!

Carmenere...3 year olds can be very hard work!
Sometimes, not always of course, when my ms decides to walk realllly slowly in that infuriating way it can help if I say, oh, I win....and his competitive streak will win over him and he will try to beat me

PinkTulips · 12/02/2007 16:02

dd refused to walk the other day... had to walk home from soft play holding her doing the dead weight thing in one arm and pushing ds in bugy with other..... she wouldn't even stand on the ground while i caught my breathe.... thought i was going to collapse!

Original poster

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 16:09

Right, crisis averted, thanks everyone, actually did the old explaining why she was naughty, did she understand why her behaviour was unasseptable(sic) and asking her if she was going to behave on future trips out(thanks DOC)She has agreed and is now quitely watching tv with her big brother.
We have all had a mini orange chocolate egg
God it is so good to be able to communicate with others who know the humiliation of losing it at small children in public.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 12/02/2007 16:11

Carmenere, the last time I lost it with DD2 in public a very lovely woman came up to me and gave me a hug. And I cried. And I said, "but I love her so much", and she said yes, she knew.

Lovely, she was.

Fillyjonk · 12/02/2007 16:13

aw carmenere

have been there x 100

in fact considering going back to work as a result

dd (18 m) chose to undress herself when my back was turned-outside, at the park, in the fecking blizard of a snowstorm we had last week. I was chatting to a friend. she was naked, crying with cold, and refusing to put clothes back on or go inside ffs.

my god i lost it, esp as ds was there, being good but cold. Picked her up (fine) but also had a rant.

KTeePee · 12/02/2007 16:14

I still feel uncomfortable when I think back to the episode with ds1 - even though it was 2 years ago - like you I had heavy shopping so couldn't carry him, it was market day so I had a large audience (including one stallholder who admonished me for trying to drag him along - let's just say she got an earful from me ...)

Original poster

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 16:18

Oh FJ that's dreadful (but did make me smile admittedly) you poor thing. I'm lucky as because of the weather there wern't too many people around to see me shouting at a small wet ,weeping child who was protesting that her legs were hurt

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/02/2007 16:19

OH carmenere

Good advice from DOC. Ultimately, they dont really enjoy doing this, its a means to an end for them. They always end up calming down if you stand firm but it doesnt come easily thats for sure.

I had this morning with DD for an hour and a half in total. Fortunately we were at home though. Although I do wonder what my neighbours made of DD screeching in a very distressed sounding scream "I want a cuddle with my Mummy, I want a cuddle with my Mummy". All because she didnt want to get dressed, and she objected to my not allowing her to snatch toys off of her brother....

Then on leaving for work DS decided to run off across the grass, wouldnt come back and when i grabbed his hand, he did the floppy thing on me too. I was in boots on wet grass wearing my work uniform and it was pissing down. my face looked like on and off all day too.

Sorry - I appear to have taken over your thread with a me-me-me post......sorry

Just wanted to say I sympathise...

Fillyjonk · 12/02/2007 16:20

yes

the worst of it is i did shout at her

and couldn't really carry her. she is small, but oddly heavy, i had ds, a bag, and it was slippery.

Anchovy · 12/02/2007 16:21

Ah, the behaving in public that you're not particularly proud of.

Last weekend I had taken DD and Ds out for a coffee on Saturday morning - its our weekly little treat and we love it. We weigh up where we are going to go, should they have a baby 'cino or a juice, what bun are we going to have to share etc. Last Saturday they really wouldn't sit still and DD upended a whole full bottle of apple juice all across the table swamping it and all over my lap. Cue slightly strained smile from me as I mopped up very sticky apple juice with napkins and a very rubbishy cloth from the staff (who stood and watched, of course). Sat down with very wet trousers on a sticky chair... whereupon DS immediately spilled a whole full cup of hot milk all over the table swamping it and straight into my lap...

As you can imagine, I didn't exactly say "oh well, accidents happen"

Original poster

Carmenere · 12/02/2007 16:38

Oh no QV stories of mothers reaching the end of their thether on this thread are very welcome, making me feel strangely better.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2