My 3yr old is developing a phobia, what can I do to help?

[Bucketsofdynomite]

My dd (3.5) has recently become frightened of baths and is convinced she is going to go down the plughole (thanks to Augustus Gloop from the Charlie & the Chocolate Factory film.) We've talked about it and she does understand the whole size thing but the fear is still there.
Tonight I basically forced her to have a bath with me, washed her hair and pulled out the plug, keeping her with me until the water had all gone to demonstrate but she fought and cried all the way through. We agreed afterwards that it's a good idea not to watch the film for a while but she was still really upset.
What else can I do to help her overcome this terror?

Do you have a shower? If so, shower her instead until she forgets about the terrors of the bath.

Isn't that just going to drag it on longer though? I'd rather not humour it given it's pretty irrational but nobody likes to be the bad guy do they?

aaahhhh buckets, i had no idea where my dd who is 3+1/2 suddenly got the idea that she would get sucked down the plughole - i thought it was cos of the gurgling our bath makes when it drains... but i know she has been watching Charlie @ PIL's makes sense now! Agree with elasticwoman re shower, maybe block up plug whilst she is in the shower and let water build up a little then drain away??

Continue to take baths with her. Maybe if she sees that you aren't scared after a while she won't be either.

my son had a bit of a phobia about baths for a while, i explained to him exactly where the water went and showed him the pipes etc, that seemed to calm him. the fear didn't last long once he understood how it worked

My dd recently had a fear of the plug hole. Dh had lots of baths with her and when they'd finished, they would sit in it until all the water had gone. She's fine with it no and will happily take the plug out herself whilst in the bath.

She has however startd with being sucked up the hoover and I dont really know how to overcome that one. [sigh]

I really wouldn't force her to stay in the bath while the water drains away, that will just frighten her even more. Let her sit on your knee - perch on the loo if you don't have a chair - and watch the water draining IF she can bear it. But nothing good ever came of forcing a frightened person to go through the thing that scares the life out of them. You wouldn't drop a spider on an adult with arachnophiobia, would you?

Visit the library/bookshop to see if you can find a book that explains plumbing and sewerage - Auntie Mabel on Cbeebies (is it called Come Outside?) once did an episode where she followed a poo all the way from the loo to the sewerage plant. Seriously! Once she understands how it works, it might be less scary.

I say as long as you can bear their temp of water, bathe with her. My DD has great fun when all the water has drained away- she likes sliding up and down the bath you should hear her screams of delight. Try and take her mind off bathing- have you any bath toys that she can play with(I dont mean the usual ones- my DDs have the miniature mermaids that have a ferris wheel they have great fun, also they like making potions) try it they have great fun and never want to get out, well only if they can slide up and down. The other thing you can try is putting a bath mat over the bath plug so she cant see the offender and let her help you run it so she sees that there is no hsrm. Honestly it will be short lived if you nip it in the bud now

Edam, we didnt force her to stay in nor was she frightened.
She was absolutely fine.
I agree you wouldnt ever make a child do anything or frighten them more to overcome a fear but this worked.

Just offering advice and sharing an experience

I used to have a bit of a thing about being sucked down the plughole when I was a child. I wouldn't call it a phobia in my case, but I still wouldn't like to sit on the plughole or be covering the plughole with any part of my body when the bath is emptying! How silly is that?!

Anyway, I wouldn't force your dd to sit in the bath as the water is draining out. I do have another phobia (a very real one) and I don't believe in the desensitisation method for curing it.

I don't know if it helps at all, but my 3 year old has a habit of saying "bye bye water, see you next time!" as the bath water drains away. I started this as a way of making him realise the bath was over, but it might help your dd to be less afraid of the water draining away if she waves bye bye to it.

sorry quick hi-jack

god I still can't stay in the bath too long thanks to Mrs Cole (evil babysitter TM) who told me my spine would dissolve and I'd get sucked down the plughole. There's no reason TO stay in once you've pulled the plug is there? Maybe just let her decide when she's ready to get out and then pull from outside the bath.

Agree re showing her how things work tho. Works wonders with DS's fear of the vacuum.

i haven't had this with ds but I think what I would do is perhaps wash him in the bath if he was scared, using a sponge and toys and basically making it playtime, and I'd have the plug in and make sure he knew the deal was that he would be allowed to come out before the plug was taken out.

If the child plays with the sponge, then hopefully say, the shower head, then the bath would get pretty full anyway and the child is having a bath without realising it - eventually the plug thing will probably simply be forgotten!

But I wouldn't force it. I think it's important to accept how the child feels and to work round it.

don't think I explained very well - I mean wash in an empty bath, then just playing with the water that comes from the washing sponge etc, at first....