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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Reluctance to poo is ruining school

8 replies

Hicks123 · 19/10/2016 12:59

My DD started school and loved it. But now several weeks in she cries every day and at night saying she doesn't want to go because she doesn't like using the school toilets to poo. This is mainly because of others opening the doors, peering over and under doors, and her fear they will hear her if she breaks wind in the toilet. Teacher has been fabulous and offered for her to go while others are in assembly but then she got embarrassed because the children asked her where she was. They have assured me that they check so others don't go in, but there are no locks (to stop them getting stuck in there) and DD is beside herself. For context, she has suffered stomach cramps since potty training due to "holding on" especially at nursery, so this is not a new fear but has escalated recently. Does anyone have any ideas how to help her please?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ihearttc · 19/10/2016 17:25

If she is that distressed then is there not another toilet she could use at school? Im a TA in an Infant School and we have a disabled toilet that the children are allowed to use in situations like that.

annandale · 19/10/2016 17:29

Can you start farting a lot more at home, and can she see you and your DH wandering in and out of the bathroom while each other are on the toilet and chatting?

Original poster

Hicks123 · 21/10/2016 19:51

Thanks Ihearttc, I'll ask them. They have suggested a few things that haven't worked but not that so I will ask.
Thanks annandale, I'll think about that ...

OP posts:

talulahbeige · 24/10/2016 08:14

Couldn't you try poo presents? Everytime she goes in school she gets a reward.
It worked for my lo when she wouldn't go whilst training. It could either be a little.e thing each time or a star that builds up to a big thing.

I had this problem myself in school, and it still lives with me now, 30 years later.

SuburbanRhonda · 24/10/2016 08:22

It's quite common for children not to poo while they're at school. My DCs never did in 14 years of school!

If she's certain she doesn't want to, could you make it part of her home routine instead? First thing in the morning or as soon as she gets in from school?

And have a look at the ERIC website. It has some great tips for this.

MigGril · 24/10/2016 08:23

Really why no locks? There are many that can be fitted that can be easily opened from the outside if needs be. I think that's not a good thing, also all the doors in the reception class toilets are short enough that an adult could look over the top if needed in our school. I think children have just as much right to privacy as anyone, but younger ones may need help at some point so they do need to think about that to.

JennyOnAPlate · 24/10/2016 08:25

They need to put locks on the doors of the school toilets for a start. Locks can be opened from the outside by an adult if they get themselves stuck.

PosiePootlePerkins · 24/10/2016 08:32

My DS won't go at school (I think its fairly common) and has had a tendancy to hold on causing discomfort. We encouraged him to sit on the loo and 'try' after his bath each evening, sometimes successful sometimes not, and now it has just become part of his routine, his body has adjusted to a regular time to go.
Might be worth a try.

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