Three year old being a nightmare!!

[Ames33]

Please tell me this is just a phase. Over the last three/four weeks my little boy has just been an absolute whinging nightmare. He whinges constantly and just wants to be with me. Even when he is with me he still whinges. He is crying and grumpy a lot and doesn't want to go anywhere. He started pre school a few weeks ago, so not sure if it's that that is affecting him. My husband used to take him on lovely long walks every weekend, and DS really enjoyed it and it was a good time for them to spend together, but now he just won't go, he just screams and cries, which really upsets hubby. He constantly tells hubby that he doesn't like him, and only loves mummy. He has always been a fussy eater but this is also getting worse. I have tried to ignore it, tell him it's making me feel unhappy etc but nothing seems to work. I'm at the end of my tether. People keep asking me when I'm going to have another and can honestly say that I just couldn't go through it all again!
I'm sure I'm doing something wrong and just don't know what to do to help him, he seems so sad
The terrible twos was a breeze compared to this!!

Oh Gosh mine too!! Two's were fine!! Really struggled with pre-school in Sept, that's better now but possible part of the issue.
Very very grumpy & whining a lot. Will fight to the death with us over small things like hand washing / tooth brushing which he used to do happily. I am sure it's a phase but can't help but wish it away!! Putting us off having another to be honest can't imagine going back to this !!!!

It's awful isn't it. I'm sat here almost in tears because I don't know what to do. I look at the next few days I have with just him and me and I'm dreading it. I will carry on doing what we always do, swimming etc but I just know he will whinge the day away

I do find it much worse in the house so I have to get out of the house, he will still have melt downs but they aren't as frequent. I say that but we almost had to head home today because he was so bad but we just carried on. With mine it's so much worse when tired and he seems tired all the time! He hasn't been the same since he stopped having a proper nap. Now if he does fall asleep it's in the car and then he wont go to bed until late and it's a vicious circle. Some days he's asleep by 6pm!

We've just introduced a marble in / out of the jar here. So dresses self / makes bed / puts washing in basket / takes plate to dishwasher gets a marble (actually a frog) and rudeness / pushing his brother / refusing to put his shoes on / messing about with eating get one taken out. We are trying to be consistent and he will be earning tickets to the Halloween circus. It really has helped him feel incentivised to do things. We've had total melt downs over him putting his own shoes on and I was at the end of my tether every morning before preschool.

Yes, we have been thinking reward chart, but honestly think it would all just go over his head at the moment (figuratively speaking, I obvs wouldn't throw it over his head...) xx

We have been doing them on and off since ds1 was 2 and now he is 3 he really does get it.

I also try and get him to name his feelings and explain to him that the whining hurts my brain and I can't understand what he wants. If he is clear he is more likely to get a discussion.