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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS rejecting dad

8 replies

Bensonbluebird · 02/02/2007 10:11

My DP is away one night a week - leaving early on tuesday and back after bedtime on wednesday. My DS (just turned 2) always takes a few days to accept him again when he comes home, which is very hard for DP because he really misses him while he is away. DS won't let him do anything for him, which is hard on me too because I look forward to sharing the load again when DP comes home.

DS talks about his dad reguarly while his dad is away, and when his dad comes back. Is he punishing him for being away? any tips on how to deal with this?

OP posts:

totaleclipse · 02/02/2007 10:16

Does your ds know when his dad is about to go for a couple of days? if not perhaps if your dp arranged something special to do with him before he goes so he will learn from the pattern that his dad will be away for a while, and perhaps if dp did something with him each time he got back too, so ds could have something to look farward too and to help him accept him coming back better.

Original poster

Bensonbluebird · 02/02/2007 10:23

DP and DS always have monday evening together as I'm out, and they do have a nice time together (If I'm not around DS is fine with DP), then DP always takes DS to his childcare on thursday morning, so there is quite a routine there already.

Could also be that DS has had a few bugs/colds in the last few weeks and has been a bit tired and clingy generally.

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 02/02/2007 10:28

I'd say my ds was very into mummy when he was 2 - now he's 3 he drapes himself over daddy at EVERY opportunity and I am chopped liver

so it may be just one of those phases - encourage your dh to keep chin up and look forward to the time when any attempt to get himself out of the bedtime routine is met with screams

Original poster

Bensonbluebird · 02/02/2007 11:15

Thanks Choosy, sure DS will be bored of me soon!

OP posts:

Sheraz · 02/02/2007 11:17

At 2 my DS's were all Mummy - to the point where Daddy could do NOTHING for them at all - including wiping ther bums.It probably has nothing much to do with him workinf away.Now daddy is God in our house!

Mumpbump · 02/02/2007 11:18

One of my colleagues had this with his daughter. If he went away for a week on business, she would apparently be really off with him for a few days. I'm sure it is a form of punishment, but his dd grew out of it and I'm sure your ds will too...

Liff · 06/02/2007 13:11

My DS is just 13 months old but already seems to punish us. Last night because it was cold my DH picked him up from nursery (I normally pick him up) and when they got home he refused to come anywhere near me. Given it's the only time I see him in the day I was gutted. Any advice, has this happened to anyone else?

Egypt · 06/02/2007 13:20

my dd wont let dh do anything for her. he works away for a week at a time mostly every month. she prob takes most interest in him when he returns actually and doesnt seem bothered by him going away. she has started to cry for daddy if she hurts herself lately, but only when he's not here. if he is here she only wants me! it is tiring and hard on dh but i think that lots of 2 year olds are like this. they see one person as their main carer and get used to the routines and way in which that person does certain things,its like they can't understand that another person can be just as adequate. if i am out then she is fine with dh however. its a phase. i hope!

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