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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help with getting 6 mo to lose dummy

15 replies

Heloise1982 · 02/09/2016 18:18

My 6.5 month old twins are completely addicted to their dummies. We seem to have successfully gone cold turkey at night (quite a bit of crying, but within a week they're sleeping far better.) However, they whine more or less constantly during the day without them, wriggling and rooting non stop (and it's definitely not because they're hungry. They just seem to have an amazingly strong suck reflex. If I let them they'll suck and suck on the boob constantly, until the milk literally pours back out of their mouths again.)

Will they just grow out of the suck reflex by themselves? Should I ditch the dummy during the day as well? I'd like to, but think I'll have horrendously grumpy boys if I do... But maybe they'll get used to it? Or should I leave it til they get older? Not sure if that will make it easier or harder! I'm at a bit of a loss. Any advice or experience to share??

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Bagina · 02/09/2016 18:21

I'd let them have a few more months of dummies yet. They've still got teething to get through.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2016 18:31

Aww, they're still so young! Of course you can still let them have their dummies! Is there a particular reason you don't want them to have them at this age? . So many parents think that dummies are frowned upon, and so feel guilty for using them, but would theyfeel like that about a comfort blanket and take that from them? No, of course they wouldn't.

If you only let a baby have a dummy when they really seem to need one, then you won't get to the stage where you have a 3 or 4 year old who runs round happily with one and can't be understood because they're talking with a dummy in their mouth. With mine, when they were happy and occupied I removed their dummy and distracted them if they started to whinge. They were given it during the day if they were particularly unhappy and crying a lot (teething or temp etc). (DS2 still cried a LOT at 6 months. A dummy was essential to him and me!)

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2016 18:34

Mine still got LOTS of comfort out of their dummies when they were toddlers during bouts of illness, by the way. They do obviously grow out of the actual need to suck to give them comfort - anything much beyond the age of 2 and a half is in danger of becoming pure habit in my opinion. But by that age, they will have some understandingwhen you explain to them about the dummy fairy etc. A 6 month old can't have the permanent taking away of a dummy explained to them - they'll just feel bereft.

LilCamper · 02/09/2016 18:37

My DD gave up her dummy at 3. It was done in stages, not when we are out, not at nursery, only naps, only night time.

Pick our battles. 6mo is too young to wean them off a dummy.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/09/2016 18:42

We did it in stages too - from about 9 months, we start d saying that they were just for bedtime, and for if the child was poorly or hurt, and then, when they were about a 18 months old, we took them to a shop where the unused the dummies to 'buy' a toy they wanted (we told the staff what we were doing, and surreptitiously paid when the child wasn't looking).

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/09/2016 18:44

I would definitely agree with those who say pick your battles - 6 months old is still very young, and with twins, you have enough on your plate as it is!

If I were you, I would wait a few more months, then start with dummies just indoors, then just in bed, and finally use the dummy fairy or buying a toy with the dummies - when they are old enough to understand that.

Heirhelp · 02/09/2016 18:48

Could they be teething? Do they have lots of toys to chew on?

The NHS guidelines say children should give up their dummies at 1 year. I am dreading coming to that.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/09/2016 19:12

If Heloise wants to stick regimentally to current NHS guidelines with regards to child rearing then she's coming to the wrong place! MN is wonderful in its commonsense approach to raising children and sharing years of experience of how to parent an individual child rather than the imaginary stereotype that the NHS and other parenting gurus think we all possess. Advice changes and some is based on solid research like SIDS advice, while others, such as changes to "rules" of how to make up a bottle of formula is, to some of us older mothers, just paranoia. In the formula example, my own health visitor, hinted that she was totally happy with the way I made bottles up for DS2 in advance - she couldn't come out and say it, and told me she was obliged to give me the latest advice but you could tell that she agreed with me that the way I'd always made up bottles for DS1 (as had all my friends and family at that time) was fine with her.

Original poster

Heloise1982 · 02/09/2016 19:21

Thanks all! I guess I'll leave it a little white yet then. We had to ditch them at night because they were waking up multiple times for them, and x2 I just wasn't coping. As for daytime use, I think I'm just worried that the longer I leave it the more dependent they will get and the more able they will be to object. I too thought the advice was to get rid of them by a year old, and I didn't want to let the habit to become too entrenched. But I'm off to take a chill pill now instead. I promised myself after my daughter got through babyhood that I would stress less this time around, and take things one step at a time, but it's not quite going to plan!

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Original poster

Heloise1982 · 02/09/2016 19:29

Although I should say I wasn't aware of the NHS advice, and that wasn't what was making me think about trying to ditch them. It was more just me wondering about how best time things. Clearly the dummy has to go at SOME point, and I was just after advice as to when that point was and how best to do it (and kind of hoping someone would say they'd grow out of needing them naturally by themselves!)

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1Potato2 · 02/09/2016 20:58

Watching with interest. I have a 7 month old who needs it to sleep. My other older child ditched them at 6 months as she didn't like the larger size.

I really need some advice. Is cold turkey best? We were thinking at 8 months oncefully settled into nursery and after a forthcoming holiday? Would it be cruel? It's just that he often wakes an extra 1-2 times a night for his fallen out dummy. Now we are both at work, it doesn't feel sustainable.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 02/09/2016 21:04

When you go to bed put a dummy near baby's hand. My ds has been putting his own back in since about 7 months. Slept 12 hours a night since 9 months. He is 2 this month and asks to go to bed. Dummy and blanket and he is flat out!! He only has it at bedtime. And only asks for it then.

Original poster

Heloise1982 · 03/09/2016 06:19

In terms of ditching it at night, yes, we just went cold turkey. I brought the cot back into our room (couldn't be arsed with all that going in at set times stuff, and didn't like the idea of them crying alone in a room anyway), so when they woke up for the dummy at least I could reach out and put a hand on them and they knew I was there. The first night was pretty bad (one cried on and off for 2.5 hours! Tho it was more fussing than hysterical crying.) But the next night it dramatically reduced and within a week they were down to usually only waking for a single feed. That was a couple of weeks ago so not getting too complacent just yet, mind! Really glad I did it tho.

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1Potato2 · 03/09/2016 21:05

Thanks Heloise

Mumto2uk · 05/09/2016 08:03

Gosh they are still so young :( They aren't doing any harm. Let them get their comfort from them and not have them crying because they want it :( Its not the worst thing in the world to have a dummy. My son face his up at 2.5 (only had a night time then) helped with comfort through sickness, teething and he slept so well.

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