4 (nearly 5) DD having recent tantrums of EPIC proportions.

[CheshireDing]

We have DD (nearly 5)|, DS (nearly 3) and 4 month old.

DD is due to start school in September, she says she is excited. Although she also says she misses some of the children from nursery (who she will see again at school) and her friend who is abroad until Christmas.

She is lovely, kind, clever, amazing vocabulary, yet when I ask her why she is upset/angry (which she seems to be daily at the moment) she can't articulate why.

I can't find anything which particularly states there is a Wonder Week equivalent for this age. I appreciate she has a lot going on (finished nursery in July, new baby April, school soon etc) but I have sat quite a few times and had cuddles, asked her what's wrong etc but she says she doesn't know.

She has literally been going ape shit for the last 2 hours, screaming, hitting me just now, she has been sent for time out (usually works) but just sat there screaming. I have also wondered if she is frustrated - and that's coming out as anger.

I don't really know what else to do, how else to help her.

What kind of things trigger the tantrums? Is there any pattern? E.g saying no; spending time with baby? It does sound like she has a great deal going on which you're obviously sympathetic to. Are you getting out much (I.e could she be hot and bored?)

You have my sympathy - it sounds really difficult. I have a 4-month old only and it's hard enough work!

Yes they had been out for 3 hours this morning at a park. They go out every day as they and I need the fresh air/exercise

She loves the baby (DS does too), well they both seem to anyway !

There does not seem to be a pattern I can see either unfortunately. She went ape shit when I told her she couldn't have cake tonight due to her attitude (but she was always furious before then anyway) sigh.

Its about school.

My 4yo is the same the lastvfew weeks. Reassure and it will pass - probably when they get there and it all settles down a bit

Hi Cheshire, we're having a lot of similar problems with out 4 yo DD at the moment. She is just having the most horrendous meltdowns, numerous times a day - and if/when she's put in time out, she just sits there letting out this awful feral sounding screech! She does have a 1 yo brother who is unfortunately also prone to a good meltdown, so sometimes it's like they're competing to see which one can tip us over the edge. Previously time out has worked for her but it's doing nothing at the moment except for giving her rage. She also starts school in September but we've not dwelt on it much and she doesn't seem in any way concerned about it. So I am totally clueless and can offer nothing useful in the way of advice, just a whole lot of sympathy!

Thank you, I am just having to presume it's school :( (even though she seems happy about school)

Hoping things improve for us all shortly.

Hiya. I can't offer any suggestions but can confirm that my 4 year old has had some epic tantrums in the last couple of months - shrieking, throwing herself around etc. I'm sure the neighbours must think we're murdering her. I'm not sure what the problem has been but they tend to hit in the early evening ( she's also been having problems getting to sleep). I try not to get angry, shout and make threats etc as that seems to escalate it. I try and keep my voice low and walk away and give her no attention whatsoever. ( I only have one to worry about). I do use timeout with mixed results - although by using a soft approach I worry that she is escaping Scott free. I always make her apologise to all concerned. ( I'm generally pretty strict and don't like her to behave badly) but I try not to dwell. I'm not sure if it's a phase or anxiety about school - but we have been reading some books about school in an attempt to quash any fears. Presumably she won't be behaving like this when she's 18!,!

I second that it could be school.

She may not even realise that's what it is, as she may just have a general feeling of being unsettled, things are changing that are out of her control etc.

My DD was very unsettled last summer (now about to start year 1), despite seeming to be looking forward to school. Things settled down fairly quickly, so you might see an improvement soon.