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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

When to wean from a dummy?

13 replies

fairysnuff · 26/01/2007 22:10

I am not a mad fan of dummies, and was convinced I would never use one. Until DD came along and needed something to suke and I just couldn't sit with my pinkie in her mouth all day!
Now we are 4 months down the line and it has been a god send.
Recently though, through the night I have been up hourly to put the dummy back in!
I have heard of people giving babies a muslin or the like as a comforter, that way they can't lose it so easy. Any advice on taking the dummy away and giving a muslin so that I don't have to get up so much?
Or should I stop complaining cos she is too young to start making her scream, at taking her dummy away?
It is funny because I was even more adamant that I would never give my baby a comforter either!! But, as my mum says, we always have the answers, Until we become the parents, then we have none!!

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sarahmumof3 · 27/01/2007 10:50

Hi there - I am no expert on this in fact I have loads of problems getting mine off dummies. Lucy is now 10. She had a dummy after 10 days and I only managed (how ridiculous was this) to get her to stop when she was about 5. I tried the dummy fairy/bribery and in the end bribery worked and I bought her a toy. I was too soft. molly is now 5 and stopped hers at 3 the same way. They both now suck their thumbs. I have made the same mistake again with Madeleine who is 2.5. Aboslutely addicted to her dummy. Aargh. I think I might just hide them one day. aargh.

A friend of mine did it when her baby was 1 yr old. She arranged for her grandad to take the dummy on her 1st birthday and give her her birthday present. It worked! They had about 3 bad nights then fine.

The going in in the middle of the night to stuff it back in can get to be a real pain I remember. If (and I wont) I have any more I wouldn't give them a dummy for the simple reason its so hard to get them off it.....good luck. I would advise to do it before they are real addicts (like mine....)

Weegle · 27/01/2007 14:16

Hi there. We did dummy removal at about the same age - it took 10 days of hard work and a lot of perseverance but 4 months down the line I am so grateful. I would be wary replacing with a muslin as a friend's twins did this and at 2 they are now having to have that removed because it's pulling their teeth forward.

We went cold turkey starting at bed time mid week so when I was most exhausted it was the weekend and DH was there to help. Ensured DS was definitely tired, well fed etc and then rocked him to sleep also using shushing and patting. We continued this for wakings and day time naps. Gradually we reduced the amount of rocking so it was just shush pat. Then we only held for a short time and did shush pat in the cot. Then just held arms down gently in the cot (he would smack himself in the face and wind himself up). It worked. As I say it was hard work but nothing like as bad as I had feared. Days 3-5 were killers but it got better after that.

You feel so proud of yourself and them once you crack it and it's definitely worth the effort to reduce the night wakings, also means I found myself reading his cues more accurately rather than just giving him the dummy.

HTH

staceym11 · 27/01/2007 14:26

My dd is now 2 and still has a dummy for sleep, but sleep only. i did this when she was around 4 months, theres no need unless they'r really distressed or tired. when she starts nursery i will do 'you're a big girl now' as she reacts well to that but i dont see much point before then, especially as we have a new baby i need my sleep. it has never impaired her speech (as she only has it for bedtime) and i havnt had to go and give ti back to her in over a year. maybe stop replacing it so quickly and let her settle herself back to sleep without it. dd never needed it putting back in unless she woke fully as i let her settle herself during the night from a young age.

but my dd is a good sleeper anyway, hope you have some luck and get the end result you are looking for!

fortyplus · 27/01/2007 14:32

Both mine had dummies.
DS1 turfed his out at 7 months and wouldn't use it any more.
ds2 wasn't allowed to have it during the day once he could walk. He still had it at night, so I asked my Dentist for advice. He said that the idea that dummies cause teeth to stick out is a myth. However, if used beyond the age of 2 they can cause deformation of the hard palate (ie the roof of the mouth).
We took the dummy away altogether when ds2 was 21 months - we had a week of very disturbed nights but he didn't adopt a substitute.
So I haven't really answered your question - sorry - but I'd be inclined to say leave a muslin in her cot and hope for the best, but let her keep the dummy for now.

JazzyGsMummy · 29/01/2007 09:45

my dd is 2 and only has her dummy at nite. we did manage to get it off her very easily by asking her to tell her "friends" (teddy, peppe pig and fifi) about her day, result!! a few weeks later we made the mistake of letting her have a dummy again when she was ill. this time she's not for giving it up. I tried the above "distraction' method again didn't work!! I also tried not giving her one and when she asked for it I said close your eye's and mummy will go and get it. it worked once, she fell asleep by the time I got back upstairs, I have tried both methods again since and they haven't worked. maybe she has to be really tired.

Original poster

fairysnuff · 29/01/2007 17:47

Lots of good advice there. Not sure which direction to take! Think we will stick with it for the mo, she has settled down again so not so much hassle in the night.
I am a little afraid to leave her too long before replacing it, she wakes herself up too much then takes a while to settle again. I really like my sleep and a little waken for a few seconds is preferable (at the moment) to a fully awake LO. Though I know at some point I will have to bite the bullet and go through the few rough nights until she gets used to the idea, but I think I have decided that 4 months old is too soon for us. I don't think I will introduce a muslin afterall, it would just be adding more confusion for her when, after taking her dummy from her, I then try to take the muslin from her later. I have to keep her hands covered at the mo, she would go daft at night if she tasted skin, she would start thinking about getting mummy! Anyway, you can, eventually, take a dummy away, but you can't take a thumb. So I am trying to avoid that at all costs! So I am kinda stuck with the wake up calls for now, having run out of options.
I am half hoping that she will reject the dummy in her own good time and, if not, then I will cut it down to night time only and then altogether.
But, you know what they say the best laid plans and all that!!

Worried for a cousin of mine though, her DD is still using the dummy constantly at 3 years. I have to ask her to take it out or I can't understand her talk. Shame to think it could be damaging her palate

OP posts:

sparkymummy · 29/01/2007 20:10

Was just coming on to post a question about dummies too!! My DS has his for sleeping and I spend my nights popping it back in! He is 7 months and shows no signs of rejecting it himself. I had to introduce it as I Bfeed him and my boobs couldn't take the constant sucking he seems to love! Those mums whove managed to get rid of dummies, what age did you do it?

abgirl · 30/01/2007 08:39

We got rid of our DS's dummy just before Christmas, he was 21mo. However for several months previously he had not had it all during the day, only for sleeping when he was in his cot (though if we were going out for the day we did take one with us to encourage him to sleep while we were out).

Took a week of pain, lots of crying at bedtime and during the night as he had to learn to settle himself without the dummy, however we were firmly decided that it had to go when he started saying goodbye to it each morning!

A month later he is generally going straight to sleep at bedtime and is much better at settling himself if he wakes overnight. I do think they are useful for babies and will use one with my next baby if they are sucky but I think once they start asking for a dummy it's time for the dummies to go!

CoozerP · 30/01/2007 08:58

I don't know if this actually works or I was just lucky my DS is a heavy sleeper, but might be worth a try?
I went through a good few nights of the constant waking up to replace his dummy (at about 2 months) so decided to wait till he is asleep (after about 1hr) and then gently remove it, at first I would sometimes have to pop it straight back in if he looked like he was going to wake up fully but now he doesn't stir and he sleeps really well all night.

Original poster

fairysnuff · 30/01/2007 11:36

So he still gets the dummy every night but you remove it once he is sleeping so you don't have to get up?
Not a bad idea
How long does he sleep for at a stretch? I imagine my DD would still be up through the night, realising that it is missing.
Up 3or4 times last night, I lose track!

If you were to just give her the dummy to sleep, when would you start taking it away from her during the day. I would have ever such noisy days if I did that at the mo. You have to be looking at, or interacting with, DD constantly or she shouts at you! It gives me time to get things done. I take her everywhere I go, so she is always with me but she gets upset if I don't look at her all the time?
Toys just don't do it. We even bought one of those playgyms with the moving mobile, but she is not impressed, human contact is what she wants. Though I do get rewarded with huge smiles every time I look over. So not really complaining.
Argh, sometimes I am so worried about sounding like a bad mum!

OP posts:

thewill · 30/01/2007 11:46

You dont sound lke a bad mum at all,
i found that as dd got to abput 6 months she was much happier doing things on her own, and only has dummy at night.
DS only has his at night, (2yrs)
Also from about 7 months onwards they tend to be able to find them at night if they want them

CoozerP · 30/01/2007 12:25

Of course you don't sound like a bad mother. DS is the same, is very happy as long as I'm in eyeline, makes doing anything a bit tricky, although he is getting better!
He sleeps soundly now from 7pm - 6.30/7am I think he does occasionally wake but since I've taken his dummy out when he is sound asleep he has learnt to settle himself. However I may be just jammy and it has nothing to do with my sneaky plans

staceym11 · 30/01/2007 12:26

they seem to manage to entertain themselves better during the day once their hands do what they wnt them to (about 6/7months) and then is a good time to remove during the day, just dont give to them unless they really go off and this will gradually decrease, as long as they are happy and playing they dont need it!

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