This is long - sorry. The following is a brief history of DS's behaviour and I'm hoping somebody out there has some insight - it's the bulk of a letter I wrote to my GP:
"DS has had ?challenging behaviour? since he was about 18 months old.
A great many strategies have been tried to modify his behaviour. He has also undergone a number of assessments.
-
We?ve attended sessions with a Brief Therapy Counsellor (www.brieftherapy.org.uk), having been referred by his previous primary school, in London.
-
I have attended two sets of parenting classes.
-
I have read every childhood behaviour book going.
-
DS is on a course of Omega 3 supplements to see if that might work.
Since moving to Suffolk:
He has always had a lot of positive reinforcement and attention at home and I think part of the problem is that he demands even more, he is like a bottomless pit.
He eats well, most food at home is cooked from fresh ingredients; sweets and junk food are limited.
But at school he hits, kicks and screams at teachers when he doesn?t like something or can?t get his own way and he is constantly pinching or hitting or pushing (almost absent mindedly) the other children in his class. There are only a couple of children who will play with him or even sit with him because of this. He can?t line up and finds it nearly impossible to be quiet at ?carpet time? or in assemblies; he shouts out and is always muttering, he craves constant attention.
However, he is very bright, articulate and engaging and can strike up conversations with adults easily. In fact, he makes friends with children very quickly but these friendships don?t last very long because, after a couple of days, he starts trying to direct their play and, obviously, they don?t respond very positively and then it all goes pear-shaped!
Any strategies that have been employed, which can involve either a reward scheme or a punishment (usually denial) scheme, works for a short while until DS either tires of it or sees through it and then his behaviour slips right back again. Nobody can get him to empathise with the feelings that his victims have, even when we try exercises with him to try and relate to feelings that he might have had in similar situations. We can?t get him to take responsibility for his actions. He just says that he can?t help it. He is obviously very, very fed up with the constant tellings off."
The result of the visit to the Childhood Development Centre is that he didn't have ADHD (he showed 'sumptoms' of ADHD at school but not at home!!) but that the 'expert's' only solution was to medicate him! I've since encountered a lot of parents whose children just don't fit and have a lot of trouble at school. If any child's behaviour is put under as much scrutiny as mine has been then, surely, they too would be deemed to display odd behaviour.
State schools just can't cope with 'rebellious' non-conformist children - they're tied up with targets and funding. A recent statistic states that 1 in 20 children have been diagnosed with ADHD. I just don't believe that's so. If we'd said 'yes' ds would have been medicated too and become a statistic.
I want some support for children who are being bludgeoned in to conforming to a system that just doesn't work.
Anybody with similar experiences?