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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Giving up the dummy - how did you do it?

25 replies

PurpleOneWithTheNutIn · 08/07/2016 19:33

I'd really appreciate any advice/experiences on when and how your children gave up (or were "encouraged" to give up) their dummy. Ds3 is 1 and has a dummy at night and in the daytime. He's quite reliant on it I'd say...

His oldest brother is nearly 16 and was a nightmare to separate from his many doo doos! Eventually managed it at 3!! Ds2 was much easier but he was an easier going baby anyway and I just moved them away during the day time and he wasn't bothered.

Any tips welcome! There are so many things I've forgotten since my older two were little!

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Grizzer · 08/07/2016 21:53

We left it in the car after a long journey. Put dd to bed & said we'd go & get it. By the time I found it she was asleep! When she woke up the dummy fairy had been & left her a much longed for Dora the Explorer umbrella. She never asked for it again!
However... It wasn't the first attempt at getting rid of it & she cried her heart out the first couple of attempts so we gave in. I really believe they have to be ready to part with it. Dd was 3 but only had it at night.
Ds is 6 months & prefers his thumb. Not sure how I'll get rid of that!!

Mamabear12 · 08/07/2016 23:01

My son was quite addicted. We gave it up about two months ago. He is 2 and 7 months now. He was using it to sleep and during the day A LOT. As a baby it was only for sleeping but he started using it more and more. When I felt he was old enough to understand I started talking about the sick monkeys in the zoo needing dummy's and the dummy fairy will take the sick monkeys his dummy and he will get gifts. I even googled images online to go along w my story and explain and show the images as I said 1. Sick monkey 2. Dummy fairy 3. Monkey w dummy and 4. A pile of gifts 😃 It worked like a charm. He went to bed w out the dummy. Woke up and asked for it and then I have him his presents. Then he was so happy. He only asked for it once a day during nap time for three days and that was it. Today he found an old dummy and really wanted to give it to the monkey in the zoo. He was asking to hold it, but we wouldn't let him just in case!! Lol. We told him we will wrap it up and give the monkeys next time we go to the zoo and he was happy w that and forgot about it quickly after. Good luck! This worked for bottles for my elder one as well. And I was lucky bc the younger one didn't seem to notice much getting rid of bottle and replacing it w sippy cup!

Justmuddlingalong · 08/07/2016 23:06

Was later in the year, but my DS's were posted with a letter to Santa.

Paddingtonthebear · 08/07/2016 23:07

Mine was 3yrs and 4 months old exactly. Had one dummy for sleep only. Tried the dummy fairy tactic at 3yrs and she was inconsolable so we gave it back and left it for a few months. Then one day we went to another town for a day trip and in a shopping centre she said she wanted a Build A Bear. So we said she could def have one when she was ready to give up using her dummy at bedtime. She said she wanted to, so we jumped on the opportunity and went into Build a Bear where she selected a giant Care Bear and handed her dummy (which we had on us as she napped in the car) to the shop assistant who would send it to the dummy fairy in exchange for the bear.

She had a wobble that night at bedtime when she realised the dummy had gone (actually we still had it and kept it hidden in a drawer for weeks after). But she cuddled her new bear and that was it. A few wobbles at bedtime for the next few nights but then forgot about it.

Mamabear12 · 08/07/2016 23:28

In my opinion, try your best not to go back after you give it up. Just remind them of why you have it away (Santa, to monkeys, for a gift etc) and distract. After a few days they will forget the habit. I planned three fun and busy days to distract him and tire him out for bed time so he wouldn't need much help sleeping. For example zoo, park, swim, soft play and lots of running. By night he was fine and didn't even ask! He would only ask once during day when he got tired during his nap time and we also have up his nap time so he would sleep easier at night. If he naps then he won't sleep until 9pm at night and fights it big time.

BeBesideTheSea · 08/07/2016 23:31

Chicken pox with spots in his mouth made it too painful to such it.

I would not recommend this method at all!

SomeDaysIDontGiveAMonkeys · 08/07/2016 23:59

Oh bless him. He still seems quite young to give up his comforter. Are you worried what other people think? If so, it's none of their business.

Original poster

PurpleOneWithTheNutIn · 09/07/2016 06:26

Thank you all for your replies! I like the tiring him out and keeping him busy and distracted ideas, they seem to work well and quickly without too much upset!

All your children seem to be a lot older! Do you think as SomeDays says he is still very young and I don't need to worry yet?

He definitely won't understand the dummy fairy/Santa thing yet!

SomeDays - honestly I couldn't care less what people think well past that stage of my life! but I have been thinking it will affect his teeth and mouth development as well as speech. Am I creating problems where there are none at this stage? I think I might be rushing things a bit, after hearing from you guys.

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barnet · 09/07/2016 06:34

We did it for a very dummy addicted 3yr old by cutting a little hole in the top of the dummies. They weren't satisfying to suck any more. Also talked about the dummy fairy, who left a present for all the collected dummies.

Diddlydokey · 09/07/2016 06:44

I threw them away at a year old, so cold turkey - same with bottles.

He was absolutely fine

Daffodil90 · 09/07/2016 06:55

DD is almost 7 months old and she hasn't had it during the day for almost a month. We just went cold turkey, only took a few days for her to realise it wasn't coming and now she goes down for naps within about 5 mins of cuddles.
She still has it at night to go to sleep but that's a sacrifice I decided to make because it means I can usually get her to go to sleep on her own albeit with a few up and downs and shhhh's and pats from me
She slept through for the first time last night and didn't wake up for the dummy past 10.30pm. Got up at 6am! Certain it won't happen again tonight though haha.

Original poster

PurpleOneWithTheNutIn · 09/07/2016 07:03

BeBeside... The chicken pox method sounds very painful! Ouch. Hopefully it won't come to that!

Cold turkey worked with ds2, he dropped the dummy quickly with not much fuss. Ds3 is more attached! We've only recently got him into good sleeping habits again after mild illness so I'm enjoying nighttimes and we all get some decent rest. I think I'm worried about upsetting the apple cart so to speak.

Does anyone know what age dummies can harm development? Info I find online is conflicting to say the least!

OP posts:

SweetPeaPods · 09/07/2016 07:07

Ds1 was 3, the week of his birthday pretty much. He just said he was a big boy now and didn't need it. We had been talking lots about being a big boy etc the weeks before.
Ds2 is nearly. 2 and I'm hoping he's just as easy. It still provides him a lot of comfort so I'm in no rush for now.

Daffodil90 · 09/07/2016 07:11

I read (I think on NHS website) that it's best to give it up by 1 year, starting the process at about 6 months as its outlived its usefulness (reducing risk of SIDS etc). Obviously if it's still of comfort to your DC then it's very useful to you!
We wanted to do it early so DD wasn't old enough to understand that it could be thought of as punishment when it wasn't iyswim. I've been called all sorts by MIL though because its not the way she did it! Certainly a hot topic!

aliceinwanderland · 09/07/2016 07:18

Put a pin pick in the dummy. It loses suction and they lose interest

If older giving it to the dummy fairy works. She leaves a present

Paddingtonthebear · 09/07/2016 07:27

I don't think it's bad if they need it for comfort. As long as it's not affecting their speech. At over 2yrs you don't really want them walking about with a dummy in their mouth all day long. Three different dentists have told me that it doesn't really start to affect teeth/jaw until about age 5

Thomasisintraining · 09/07/2016 07:34

Dummy fairy left Dora skates for Dd1 and I cannot remember for dd2. Dd2 gave up no bother but then started stealing her Dbs when he was born 6 months later so both of them gave it up together him at 6 weeks her at 3.5 but it was relatively painless again.

Mycraneisfixed · 09/07/2016 07:41

Older two gave up at between 1 and 2 years. Youngest was still sucking her dummy at night till she was 6. (Not proud of that!) She's an adult now and has perfect teeth.

Normandy144 · 09/07/2016 07:42

Our DD was 3.2 yrs when we finally cracked it. Started with a trip to the dentist. He was lovely and asked her if she had heard of the dummy fairies etc. She was quite enthralled. So after that visit we worked up to it and decided that on the Friday night we would give up the dummy. She told me what toy she wanted etc. We also decided that as a big distraction we would transform her cot bed into a toddler bed. It worked. She was so excited about the big girl bed that she barely cared about the dummy. We got a little box for them and got her to.put them on the doorstep outsidde.

In the week that followed she asked for it a few times but accepted it without too much drama. Now we are several weeks on and she doesn't mention it at all.

Passthecake30 · 09/07/2016 07:45

Dd hung hers on the tree for the baby reindeers (just over 3yrs old). She was a bit emotional for a couple of nights, all I can say it was like she'd lost something v v v special .

Chrisinthemorning · 09/07/2016 07:49

He was 2.6 and we took it when we went to see Santa. He got an special present in return. He mentioned it twice then never again.

f1ddlesticks · 10/07/2016 03:10

Thanks for starting this! My Dd is 2.10 and has her dummies for sleeping / relaxing and I've been talking about the dummy fairy which she seems quite interested in! Occasionally she tells me she's a big girl and doesn't need dummies but then clearly does. I'm expecting DC2 in nov so was thinking I'd give it a bit more time in case she feels upset or anxious when the baby arrives - feel less pressured about her age and the fact she stil uses them now I've read these posts... Good luck OP!

user1468157973 · 10/07/2016 16:20

Wow. I'm going to answer now...but as a child, because I remember as a child I was very reluctant to give up my dummy. The 'dummy fairy' took it, and left me a reward to say 'thanks for it'. I'm embarrassed, but I'd guess I was as old as 4 or 5, or even possibly 6.

MadameMayberry · 12/07/2016 19:30

I cut the ends off the dummies and said she could have them but they were broken. My then 2.5 year old accepted it surprisingly easily.

Katieweasel · 12/07/2016 19:35

My DS left his dummies for Father Christmas on Christmas Eve so that he could give them to the baby reindeers

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