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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

dd3 wont call dh 'daddy'

20 replies

misdee · 11/01/2007 22:51

and i know it bothers dh. she knows that he is daddy and will go and get him if i ask her to get daddy, but she refuses to call him daddy. not even da or dada.

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MomOnTheRun · 11/01/2007 22:55

Tell your dh not to be worried. My ds2 will not call me mama when he was younger. He would even point and say "Usher" on the music channel. One day I got so annoyed I put him in the playpen and left him crying there. He called mama through his yelling and brought tears to my eyes. He was about 18 months then. Now he calls me for every little thing, but I'm not complaining.

hester · 11/01/2007 22:55

That must be upsetting for him. I can only think that it is a phase she will grow out of, and probably quicker if you refuse to make a big deal out of it. You're right not to collude, though - I'd keep referring to him as daddy but not try to force her to call him that, I think.

hester · 11/01/2007 22:57

I have a friend whose ds insists on calling her 'daddy'

Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 22:57

a part of me worries its because he has spent most of her life on hospital. she is definatly a mummies girl, and will often refuse to go to him for cuddles and practically leaps into my arms.

OP posts:

colditz · 11/01/2007 22:58

Ds1 clls us both "MummyDaddy"

kid · 11/01/2007 22:58

Does she call him Peter?
If she does, I would suggest he didn't respond or reply 'my name is daddy'
I agree it is a phase she is going through, both of my kids started calling me by my name for a while. It didn't bother and they soon stopped anyway so it never became an issue.

Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 23:00

she wont even call him peter. she spends a lot of the time not talking to him or about him. or if i say 'lets go home for daddy, its 'No'. i know some of its a phase. at least she will fall asleep on him though, its progress. slowly.

OP posts:

fortyplus · 11/01/2007 23:01

Agree with kid. The only way mine would call dh 'Daddy' was if I did, too. Trouble is - it's a hard habit to break!
Maybe in your case also because she's worried about him? Strange things go on in their little heads, don't they?

kid · 11/01/2007 23:06

Maybe you can get her to call him daddy by encouraging her to ask 'daddy' for a drink, sweet, toy etc.

jampots · 11/01/2007 23:08

misdee - is she scared of his machine thing?

Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 23:10

no she keeps trying to run off with it! he has had it since she was 4months old. so she is used to it. she became really unsettled and confused when he came home. its hard trying to juggle everyone and make sure the kdis are ok.

dd2 keeps saying we can all go on holiday when daddy is better and doesnt have a machine.

OP posts:

hairymclary · 11/01/2007 23:11

she sounds just like my ds.
he refuses to call either of us mummy or daddy

jampots · 11/01/2007 23:11

also thinking about it - shes not that old and he has been inhospital most of her life - its going to take time for her to come round to the idea that he's a permanent fixture i guess,

Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 23:15

she is 22months, he was in and out of hospital for the first 4 months, then stayed at hospital till she was 18months old.

OP posts:

fortyplus · 11/01/2007 23:19

I suppose it's normal for her but it must be hard for her to make sense of it. Was Peter stuck in hospital over Christmas?

MomOnTheRun · 11/01/2007 23:28

I'm sorry, didn't know your family situation. It could be that she's jealous of the attention being shared with dh. Giver her a bit more time to get used to having daddy around. Get her involved in helping out with little tasks for daddy. e.g Hand a tissue to daddy.

Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 23:37

no he came out this year over xmas, but went in a lot over the xkmas period as things kept going wrong. she absolutly screams when he goes though, it ust be so confusing for her, i know. i am dreading him getting called for transplant as i will have 3 very upset little girls to look after. but hopefully they will be 3 very happy little girls when he comes home for good.

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Original poster

misdee · 11/01/2007 23:46

MumOnTheRunb, dont worry i dont expect everyone to know everything about me lol. basically, my dh is in end stage heart failure, and has been on the transplant list since march 05 (dd3 was born in feb 05), but had an artificial heart put in in july o5 as he was failing fast. so he has been in and out of hospital all of dd3 little life so far. www.waitingforthecall.blogspot.com

OP posts:

fortyplus · 12/01/2007 00:06

misdee - glad you got him home at least some of the time.
I often think of you and your family. I've got a few friends who've suffered cr*p over the years and it's really made me realise how lucky any of us are if we muddle along with health and happiness intact.

MomOnTheRun · 12/01/2007 02:09

Misdee, I've just read your blog and I am so sorry that life is so unfair. I have to make a point not to moan about being stressed. I really don't know how you do it, but I have nothing but praise for your strength and love that you give your family. Take care.

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