Terrible twos and being a "shouty" mum

[mrsholroyd]

Pretty much at the end of my tether. My 2 year 3 month old is majorly going through terrible twos. I have a 4 month old too but behaviour started before he came.

Unfortunately I'm a shouty mum and have occasionally smacked him when he's hit out at me which I know completely defeats the object of telling him off for hitting in the first place.

My problem is he is now copying. He screams and shouts and when he goes into all out meltdown he smacks himself over and over and also shouts and "tells off" my 9 year old. How do I reverse this behaviour and try and change the course of his future from being a nightmare child to being a nice child. I take 100% blame for his reaction to things but I just don't know how to change it. Anyone else done so and if so tips and advice and a time frame would be much appreciated.

Many thanks

Read a book called Positive Parenting the toddler years by Jane Nelsen. It really was the most useful thing I ever read and overnight changed how I interacted with my kids. They never had another tantrum and I've rarely ever raised my voice since. It is a bit time consuming as it involves a LOT of listening to your child, but the atmosphere in the home is so much nicer.

Preparing to be flamed but I feel you are too guilty about the shouting and smacking. Yes it would be good to do things differently but you are probably over interpret ing his behaviour as all about copying you. There is a thread on parenting about trying to be a less shouty parent might be worth a look.

It's horrible feeling a situation escalate. I know it's not your two year old you dislike - it's his behaviour, you feel overwhelmed and frustrated.

If you look online there's a website called The Orange Rhino Challenge, the writer is American mother of four, she has stayed anonymous and wanted to stop yelling at her children so got to thinking about alternative approaches.
www.orangerhino.com

There are some good suggestions eg 100 things I have done instead of yelling I haven't explored the entire site but might be worth a look.