4 month old not in ANY sort of routine - What should I do?

[cruisemum1]

4mt old ds wakes ususally around 7ish but owing to erratic night feeding is ir is not hungry. Naps around 1-5 - 2hrs later but lenght of nap varies wildly. Sometimes feeds 2 hrs later sometimes 3. Naps for 30 mins to 1.5 hrs after that. I need some order in my life but as he sometimes doesn't feed a whole feed (bf) he is hungry shortly aftter. Also tried the bw EASY thing but that means that after eating he has activity for a couple of hours then sleeps just as he is due another feed. TBH i am totally confused. I have a dd who seemd textbook routine by comparison but it was 9 years ago so my memory has faded. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Cruisemum - ime leaving them is better, most of the time they're not really awake just shuffling around and can settle themselves back. I know its hard when they're in the room for you but if you can let him learn how to do this then it would be better in the long term!

Pudding thanks - you have confirmed my suspicions

cruisemum, I'm having the same dilemma with DS of 14 weeks.. he is only recently not swaddled and seems to spend half the night grunting and shuffling (though not crying), but so tempting to go to him and swaddle him up, then he's totally quiet!! guess it's all just a stage..

gemmity - my ds grunts/shuffles and then cries I cannot leave him to cry because in the dead of night I find it so grating to hear tha I end up rescuing him and putting him to hte boob - a guaranteed sedative! I know it is a bad habit but I don't quite know how tobreak it. I am sure our mums wouldhave left us to cry..... Do you have any advice?

pudding - i have been leaving ds to settle himself during his night wakings and 50% of the time he does! Sound advice indeed. Thanks

cruisemum: I know what you mean though, DH can't understand why it wakes me up, he just sleeps through it! I explain that if you catch it in time and reswaddle him he will go back off, but if he really wakes himself up then I will end up hoping he will go back to sleep but eventually giving him the boob, thus losing even more sleep!

Also, he is obviously just not ready to go to 7am, always wakes at 5 or 6, no matter how much I've fed him the night before.. but then isn't starving at 7.30, so don't know whether to let him cry at 6 (but think he would just cry till 7)

Hmmm! Fun sometimes, isn't it! hope it's better before I go back to work on Feb 5..

Haven't read all of the posts so apols if repeating anyone. I only tried establishing a routine when my dd was around 4 months old. All I did was fix her feeding times and allowed her to sleep whenever she wanted. Luckily she was already sleeping through the night (11-8) which probably made it easier. I've used the same strategy ever since and it's worked fine for us.

Hi cruisemum, glad its working! I know its hard to do especially if they're crying & in the same room as you but I promise, it gets easier & easier!

well it all went to rat last nite. ds woke repeatedly and would only bf back to sleep. i am hoping it was another growth spurt...