toddler wont sleep, help please

[xxxbingbunnyxxx]

So, my 2.5 ds has always been a good sleeper, generally only upset sleep when ill or going through a developmental phase and sorts himself out back to normal sleep after. However for the last 6-7 weeks he has not slept well, gone down to sleep well but around 9-10 he wakes calling out for us. Good night was 1 wake up bad night is 4 wake ups followed an hour playing. Tonight has hit a new level where he hasn't even gone down to sleep. Its getting to the point where me and dh are exhausted and I don't want to ask for help from family as I know if he wakes and we are not there it will just upset him more and defiantly wont sleep. But now I'm that tired and feel like I just don't know why he isn't sleeping, I feel like such a failure and want to curl up, cry and sleep in equal parts but that's not an option as ds is currently awake and playing. Please tell me this is a phase and how long it usually lasts or any advise please. I'm just lost at the moment x

Anyone, please????

I can't offer any inspirational advice as I'm in a similar boat, DD is 2.9 and is also not a great sleeper. She wakes EVERY single night, yells and we go get her and bring her in with us. We are just too tired to let her cry or try and negotiate with her to stay in her own bed. I feel your pain.

Does he still nap in the day? DDs sleep has def improved a bit since she dropped her nap. I know the thought of no daytime nap is a killer, but it does mean they're a bit more tired at bedtime as are we!!

Good luck. And hope someone comes along with some advice

Ps. You're not a failure. You're clearly doing a great job. You're just tired and exhausted with it all

Back molars?

Does he sound genuinely frightened when he wakes and calls? Have you tried firm line? ( "Yes we are here, we love you, it's bedtime, we'll be back in the morning x1000?")

Can he say why he's awake? Nightmares?

I've been though this with dd2.

When you go to him around 9 what do you do? When dd was doing this, I sat outside her door going in every few mins she was not allowed out of bed.

Thanks for the support. He screams for us, and it escalates very quickly so leaving him really isn't an option for us. I have tried to settle and talk in his room, but it never works. We thought nightmares, but difficult trying to ascertain this. We are waiting on back molars, but even with Calpol and neurofen that doesn't seem to help. When he wakes we do what we have always done, he comes down stairs has some warm milk and then 8/10 times goes back to bed - is awake but settles himself, has no issues settling himself to sleep but coming out of his rooms helps calm him.

Oh, and he still had a nap, we tried dropping it as sometimes he doesn't really need, but then he gets overtired very quickly, and that a level where no one wins!

Well he has took it to the next level when waking up. Instead of going back up he is now not going to go back at all.

If he needed a drink id give it him in bed, why take him down stairs as your actually taking him away from where you want him to be.

It's so easy for dd to get out of routine. Sickness and holidays are the worst as I have to start from scratch. If she kicks off I just sit out side her room going in every few mins, sit her back down, no talking. It's tough it otherwise my three year old would be dictating when she sleeps (and us) and she is just to young to know what's best for her.

Poor sleeping habits are normally down to mum and dad being too soft. I should know I'm a massive culprit of it

Dd dropped her nap around this age and we just chilled in the afternoons and goes bed at 6:30

We have tried dropping naps most days l and have chill out time on the sofa, but sometimes if we are out he will sleep in the car and will always nap at nursery! So difficult to mange, but am I over thinking?? I know we are soft ( I work full time high stress job and medical conditions so need rest) but really never had to be 'tough' with sleeping, did cc around 6-7 months and haven't had to anything since as he has been a good sleeper. I think we can try giving him some milk in his room rather than downstairs, can but try! Thank you for the advise and just having another mummy to talk to