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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Non stop screaming at bedtime- I have no life anymore

17 replies

SarahOxon · 01/01/2007 20:35

PLEASE HELP! This is really two questions:

I have a 10 month old who has NEVER once slept through the night. I have tried absolutely everything, to no avail. Even when he sleeps with us, which at least calms him down, he still wakes every three hours or so. Q: Is anyone else going through this?

He's been really poorly over New Year but is on the mend. However, I am being driven completely demented. When he is put down at bedtime (used to be pretty easy) he now screams and scream and screams some more. He will not back down and can keep going for a very long time (I've gone 45 mins so far). I've tried just going in to reassure but the screaming just continues. If I of DH give in and pick him up he's all smiles. This goes on for HOURS. I haven't sat down in the evening for at least a week and am getting ratty and exhausted. Q: Do you think this is related to illness or is a new stage (maybe separation anxiety?) I have another DS and we didn't go though any of this.

OP posts:

CantSleepWithSanta · 01/01/2007 20:43

Might be teething perhaps?

I have a nearly 11 month old who now settles reasonably well at night, except for when teething and thus in pain. Have you tried giving medised and/or nurofen?

Was he a Feb baby? There are several of us on the Feb post-natal thread who have or did have poor sleepers. Flamesparrow has actually found, I believe, that her ds sleeps longer when not near her, even though he settles more easily when she co-sleeps.

I'm guessing that you are bf and he is resettling with a feed?

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 01/01/2007 20:44

definitely try medised... it's a lifesaver.

Original poster

SarahOxon · 01/01/2007 20:52

Interestingly he was a Feb baby. Haven't heard of medised, is it specifically for teething? I've been using calpol and dentinox as he has been teething. I went into chemist when this all started to ask for any suggestion and they said to keep going with the above. He was so bad on Sat night that I took him to the out of hours service at hospital. The doc said DS possibly had viral infection but just to keep going with Ibuprofen and calpol. But now temp etc has gone. I have dismissed teething (maybe too soon) because is fine when picked up.

BTW he isn't BF any longer. Although he does have a bit of milk when he wakes at might he just doesn't seem to need much sleep (he doesn't much sleep in daytime either). He's often as bright as a button at 3am.

OP posts:

Reece · 01/01/2007 20:58

Or the occasional spoon of Dozol. It knocks them out when they are struggling to settle. Its not recommended for continuous use though.
I find Nurofen works wonders when lo's are teething. Calpol is useless with my 2 DS's.
If he is all smiles when you pick him up then he is definately trying to get your attention and possibly get into the comfort of your bed. I know letting them cry it out is hard but I have done it with both DS's and as heartbreaking as it was they are now very good sleepers.
Good Luck. I know how hard it must be for you. If you don't get your res, everything else you do with your kids during the day seems 10 times more difficult.

Reece · 01/01/2007 21:00

I meant 'rest'.

CantSleepWithSanta · 01/01/2007 21:02

Medised isn't specifically for teething, no. It's similar to calpol, but also contains antihistamine which can cause drowsiness (only in the sense that it tends to stop them from fighting sleep when they need it, rather than actually making them tired).

The pain in the teeth does tend to be worse when they are lying down (not entirely sure why!), and my DD also generally stops screaming when I pick her up - probably because she is reassured and thinks that mummy can magically make the pain go away!

nearlythree · 01/01/2007 21:02

I've heard of parents with babies who scream when lying down who have found that cranial osteopathy can help. Having had it myself for sinus problems I can say it is amazing. Was the delivery a difficult one? The fact he stops crying on being picked up could mean that he feels pressure, maybe in his ears, which is relieved when he is upright. As he has never slept, it is possible there is an underlying problem.

nearlythree · 01/01/2007 21:04

If you don't think he is in pain/discomfort, check out the Naturally Nurturing sleep clinic site for advice - they did have an offer of a sleep CD for £15 with a free half hour telephone consultation. HTH

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 01/01/2007 21:06

it's a painkiller and an antihistamine, so it helps them to breathe at night. i am amazed by how much it helps DD when she is 'off'. might be wirth having in your arsenal, at any rate.

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 01/01/2007 21:09

that's a good point, have you thought of trying Cranial Osteopathy. dd wouldn't lie on her tummy until the CO tweaked her shoulder, but one slightly horrifying neck crunch later the baby was fine and loved being on her tum. not the same as sleep problems but it gives you an idea of the effect.

Original poster

SarahOxon · 01/01/2007 21:23

I had thought of cranial osteopathy as someone I know swore by it. However, he was fine (in terms of at least going down) until about a week ago. Also, birth was very easy and calm.

I agree there is an element of attention seeking in it because as I have been writing this evening, my husband finally caved and lay on the bed with him. After 3 hours screaming the house down he fell asleep in DH's arms in 10 mins. Nevertheless, he also seems in real pain as he gets himself so distressed. How long do you leave them crying Reece? We can't go through this every night as we have our older DS (3) to sort out. CSWS - how long can you use medised for?

OP posts:

nearlythree · 01/01/2007 21:30

Could it be Christmas and feeling unwell coming together? Maybe he's just really unsettled. My ds is 7 mo and he's been co-sleeping for over a week due to a chest infection. Now he's on the mend and dd2 needs me at night so I'm settling him back into his cot by putting him down drowsy, staying and patting him until he is asleep, then going away - only picking him up when he's really distressed.

My dd1 had a lactose intolerance that kept her awake at night with wind cramps. She was better on being picked up as the cuddles relieved the wind a bit.

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 01/01/2007 21:34

hang on, ten months? i have a feeling that i wrote a thread entitled 'help me oh dear god help me' about this same problem. dd went from being a good sleeper to a flipping nightmare for a while. she's over it now and mummy amnesia has set in (so that one day i might consider having another child). i've a feeling it stopped round about the time i discovered... you've guessed it... medised.

Reece · 01/01/2007 21:34

Well I'm no expert at all so couldn't really say how long you can leave them crying for. I suppose every child is different and you just hope that after a while they give up and settle to sleep. I also know its even tougher to leave them cry when you have a 3 yr old to settle to sleep as well. I really feel for you.

Have you taken him to the GP? Could he possibly have an ear infection?

Sorry I can't be of any more help.

Original poster

SarahOxon · 01/01/2007 21:48

OK, well I'm off to
a) the doctors in the morning (I thought he might have an ear infection but the glorified med student at the hospital said no he didn't) and
b) to Boots to buy Medised!

Thanks.

OP posts:

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 01/01/2007 22:08

good luck. i had a search for my thread but couldn't find it.

pregnabrain · 02/01/2007 15:41

Your post really struck a chord with me Sarah. My dd went through the exact same sort of phase this time last year, when she was about 10 months old. It was absolutely exhausting - my partner and I really were at our wits' end.

The whole thing started with her first bout of teething, combined with tonsilitis. This went on for a few weeks and, by the time she was well again, her sleep routine was in chaos. She was up every night, sometimes for hours, she'd only go to sleep if rocked (resulting in six visits to the chiropractor for me!) and, even then, the minute she was put down, she'd wake up screaming again. Getting her to sleep at all was taking us a couple of hours every evening - we didn't have an evening to ourselves the whole time. I can really sympathise with the way you feel because it was absolutely soul destroying.

Just wanted to post to reassure you - you might feel that this will go on forever, but it will be over before you know it, especially if you take some of the good advice in this thread.

We had to retrain my dd to go back to sleep by herself. Tried controlled crying for 3 nights, and couldn't bear the hysteria. So, we went for a gentler version of controlled crying. I sat in the room with her reading a really, really boring history book in a quiet monotone voice for as long as it took for her to stop crying and go to sleep. She did cry - a lot! - but it was never the same sort of crying as with CC. It took a week before we realised that things were starting to get a bit better, and by the end of a month I could say goodnight, lay her awake in the cot and walk out of the room to enjoy a glass of wine. Bliss. Don't know if this method would be right for everyone but it worked for me.

Fingers crossed for you and please try to remember that it won't last...

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