Almost three year old battles over everything!

[DeathMetalMum]

I am at the end of my tether. Dd who is 3 next month is battling over everything. It is exhausting. Getting undressed, what she is wearing, getting dressed, having a wash, brushung her teeth, eating (or not eating), getting the coat that she chose on, every single task. I try not to engage but it's difficult particularly this morning when I need her to get dressed so that we can get dd1 out to school on time. Sometimes she asks for help but then the help is wrong, other times when I offer to help she doesn't want it. There's screeching and running away from me the list is endless. Today has been horrendous and it's only 1pm. Please help!

If it's any consolation you are not alone. I too have a three year old who is the same. There is no quick fix. There is no set time for this behaviour they are just working out boundaries I think e,g, what can I get mum to do, what can I get away with. Also being three, they suddenly seem to need more time to process tasks even though you know they can do it quicker. All I can say is be firm, consistent and keep things simple. e.g. don't give her choices of coats or shoes to put on and be encouraging. Just leave her to do it herself. If you have to give consequences then be prepared to go through with it. Hope that helps. Tomorrow is a new day and it could all be different again.

My 2.2 year old is a bit like this. Everything's a battle. Everything. I honestly think that if I asked him to put his coat on and he just went ahead and did it I'd die of shock. It's their age, they'll grow out of it . Choose your battles and drink wine!

Be clear, brief and firm about essential things like shoes and coats. Turn as much as possible into a game. Only say something once eg 'put your coat on please'. If the request is ignored, put it on for her yourself very quickly and matter of fact. Distract possible tantrums where possible and avoid arguments. I think 3 is a contrary age! Also they really want to be independent. They're still toddlers really at 3.

You really need to pick your battles. If she doesn't put her coat on she'll get cold. Take it with you so she can put it on while out. If she doesn't get dressed take her out in pjs. If she doesn't eat then she'll be hungry - take a snack with you for later.

Quite typical as they start pushing boundaries. With dd at this age we had to lower our standards on some things e.g coats - she'll soon ask for it when she's cold but then it is her choice rather than you imposing it. Some things e.g teeth brushing are non negotiable and you have to get smart at praise/reward when she does it without a fuss.