Day Wetting 5yo - At end of tether

[StrictlyMumDancing]

DD has never been fully dry in the day. She rarely wets at night, for info. We've tried everything with her, everything ERIC suggests except the vibrating watch. Nothing works long term. We've had the most success recently with dry like me pads but over the last few weeks she's not just having accidents, she's just flooding.

Both school, DH and I have made a massive point of telling her we don't mind if she wets, we mind that she sits in it and that all she needs to do is get changed (spare clothes are easily available). She's been caught 3 times in sopping wet knickers/tights/leggings today alone - claims they're not wet and she can't feel them. She's red raw downstairs, has been for a few days. Despite claiming it hurts, and her repeating that if she sits in wet knickers it'll get worse, she would still rather sit sore in wet knickers than just change. School were letting her sit wet as they apparently weren't seeing signs of wetting . After me pointing out that she's clearly flooded twice on Tuesday (once through a dry like me which she removed and then once again later on I spotted when I picked her up), they've paid more attention today and got her changed once. I appreciate they have more important things to be doing than hovering over DD but I don't know how they're missing wets that big.

She has got a perforated eardrum at the moment, so she isn't in perfect health but she was with me all day yesterday and didn't wet once - she is clearly capable of not doing it even when not well. Drs have dip tested for UTI but that's negative. I can't get to see them other than that - they wouldn't even squeeze me in for her eardrum, had to go to a walk in centre. She does wee a lot, I've been paying more attention to it recently and when she goes there is a fair amount. School say she goes a lot, to the point where they had been worrying if she was just playing them about.

She's flooding so badly I can only think of putting her back in pull ups until she either stops or I can get her to GP/incontinence clinic, but I really don't want to set her back massively. Is there anything else I can do?

I wish I had some good advice but we are going through similar with our 6 year old.
We have ordered the vibrating watch so will keep u posted. This weekend it finally dawned on me how embarrassed my dd is and I think this is why she doesn't change - she thinks that people will notice she has taken along time/ come out of the toilet and gone back in with a change of clothes - but she doesn't think they will notice the smell .
The doctors think that her wetting is caused by constipation so that maybe worth considering?

I found the school nurses a brilliant resource. Get their phone number from the school office and try them. Ours started by giving advice as per ERIC more or less, then referred DD straight to enuresis clinic. Oxybutynin has its pluses and minuses but it was transformative at the time. You can also get a referral via the GP, but this sort of thin,.

Your DD may be different to mine but when mine is going through a bad patch I'm sure she loses the sensation of whether she is wet or dry. I think she is wet too much of the time for it to feel different, it's just normal. Another child will feel wetness like a new brace-wearer feels their brace, but after a few hours or days the novelty fades. And then, because she can't feel it and doesn't get the right feedback loop, she wets even more, and it all unravels.

Don't just leave it, it's obviously causing distress. If she is wet and sitting in it she is not messing her teachers about in asking to go to the loo. She should be reassured she will be allowed to go whenever she needs to, and also encouraged to go every break and at the beginning and end of lunch. Could any tweaks be made to ease her anxiety over changing? For example is there a more private loo anywhere she could use for changing? Could she keep clean clothes in the first aid room or somewhere where she can access them discreetly? A school PE bag is a good container for spares - camouflage! Does she know who to talk to if she she runs out of spare pants? Does she know how common this is? For my DD, when she started junior school her teacher introduced her to the office staff and explained that she had special permission to use the disabled loo, so she might legitimately be passing along certain corridors at odd times. It sounds banal but it makes a real difference to DD knowing she is not going to be challenged while creeping around school in lesson times, hoping no one notices she's wet. And the disabled loo had a nice big cupboard full of spare clothes for children with similar issues.

Constipation does make a big difference, so that is worth considering, but it sounds like you need to get her referred above all else. You've given it a good go.

My DD also has dry days but it doesn't change her diagnosis. Dehydrating her works well in keeping her dry, but is not really a long term solution! Sorry for the epic post.