3 year old hitting at nursery- really upset

[BrownEyedGirl32]

Hello,

My 3 year old DS started nursery 2 weeks ago. He is an active child and has been needing nursery and I was looking forward to him developing social interaction with other children.

However, it has been a nightmare. He is apparently physical with the other children and this morning I witnessed him shaking another boy because he wanted the toy he had The teacher has requested a meeting on Thursday to discuss how he's settling in. I'm dreading this and feel quite upset.

We explain why hitting is not acceptable and give him time out, remove toys etc but nothing seems to be working. He can be so loving and he has a new baby sister who he has never hit. I'm worried no one will want to be friends with him.

Anyone else had this and how did you deal with it? Thanks in advance for your replies.

Is this new behaviour since starting nursery? Or have you seen this before at playgroups/park?

If it's new behaviour, he's obviously just adjusting to the new expectations at nursery. Don't be worried about the meeting. See it as a partnership to both sides helping your DS to settle.

If it's not new behaviour then you need to decide which approach will work best for your ds. Time out? Reward chart? Taking toys away? Talking? And the key will be being consistent. Developing the same strategies as nursery will help.

Try not to worry. He's only 3 and has lots to learn yet .

he is probably frustrated. If you work with him on it, he'll get over it soon. Talk to him, empathise, ask him how he feels and tell him that you understand how he feels, but suggest and explore alternative ways to deal with tricky situations at nursery. You can help him out of this but don't feel too bad, all kids are tricky at various stages. guide him rethought this phase of it gently but firmly .

How's his speech?
Would he stand up for himself or get a teacher involved if another child "took his turn" or similar?
Have a chat with him and practice what to do in those sort of situations.

Don't worry about the making friends bit. If he's hurting others the majority of the time there or with too much force then you have a problem but if it's snatching and grabbing then nursery is a good place to learn.

Is he getting enough sleep?
He is going through a lot of change right now so be easy on him.
Simple board games (snakes and ladders) can be good for teaching about taking turns.
Don't worry about the nursery meeting. They have seen it all before!