Social language difficulties

[Yellowgold]

Hello all,

Recently my 3.4 year old started nursery in September and we got a feedback about him not following instructions and not focussing. Initially I put it down to environment being new as he had been home upto 2.5 years and only did part time nursery before turning 3. But after getting lot of reports from nursery decided to talk to GP and waiting for referral. In the meantime decided to go private and got a diagnosis as social language difficulties we have no problems in 1x1 interactions but gets lost in crowd. At home and during play dates I don't see issues. Follows instructions, plays well, helps at home and also loves meeting people. Something at nursery makes him a different person I am not sure if it's a setting issue. S&L therapist doesn't think it's a serous issue as kids develop at different rates. But did say he struggles more in nursery setting with turns taking etc. Does any one have any advice? They ruled out autism and ADHD so far. I am still trying to understand this diagnosis. Thanks in advance

Selective mutism?

Is he properly chatty at home?

Has his hearing been tested? Has he any history of ear infections? If there is mild hearing loss (e.g. from glue ear) he may be fine 1-on-1 or with a few people but in noisy settings (with lots of background noise) may struggle to differentiate instructions / follow social cues from other children and this could lead to failing to fit in. There is a really good leaflet on the NDCS website on glue ear which explains the effects it can have (you need to register to download it, but the leaflet itself is free).

My experience - 3YO DS had excellent receptive language and could hear me OK (in retrospect not brilliantly) at home, but barely said anything at nursery and they were not-so-subtly pushing an autism diagnosis on the basis he didn't fit in with the routine, e.g. if they gave instructions to the group to go and wash their hands and sit down for lunch he would continue sitting there looking completely blank as if (they thought) he either didn't understand the instructions or believed they didn't apply to him. Turns out he couldn't hear anything at nursery because of the background chatter of children, was getting confused and looked constantly lost because he couldn't follow their chatter in play (it must have seemed to him as if there were some sort of extra information that everyone else had that he wasn't privy to) and he ended up completely tuning out at nursery. A hearing test showed very minor hearing loss but it was having a major effect on his social interaction and language skills because some of the frequencies for certain letter groups were being lost and (according to internet replications) would have made it like trying to listen to everything under water. We had to go private to get grommets inserted but they made a huge difference straightaway. Apparently hearing loss often manifests as social difficulties.

Thanks very much for the replies. I will definitely ask GP for a hearing test. We had the exact same thing at nursery with him not washing his hands when everyone else did. Although at home he does most things and follows the routine we have for dinner, bath etc. It's a very good point I hadn't considered. He is very chatty at home and has a wide range of interests like animals, colouring, cooking, vehicles and pretend plays playing shops etc

My DD who is 4.5 and in reception has had similar issues mentioned by the teacher. Again fine at home and on playdates but very quiet at school and doesnt always follow instructions. Could be nothing - DDs teacher wants me to get her referred to a paediatrician to check her development.

I started a thread about it recently.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/2520577-Reception-teacher-wants-me-to-get-DD-referred-to-Paediatric-Development-expert

Could he just really dislike nursery and be very anxious? Do his issues get a bit better in the holidays?