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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Any idea why my baby was so upset?!

30 replies

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 07:47

Cautiously cautiously hopeful we've improved the worst of the gas related screaming from last few weeks with infacol and sling and last few days til last night ds seemed far more comfortable and relsxed. Last night he had meltdown though from eight to eleven but not like before in that the cry was diffetent, no tears or the body movements he makes with gas and stopped and started over the evening as if we'd calm him down then he remembered he was upset and start again. Did seem to be hungry but would only feed briefly then stop and yet when started again seemed starving. Changed him, walked him, sang to him, cuddled him and in the end he just suddenly stopped. No idea why he was upset or how to help him if happens again... Vague feeling might be painful general digestion without the awful gas but clutching at straws!!! Any ideas or advice? Thank you!!!!

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Niknak1980 · 14/12/2015 08:32

Hi how old is he? My DD is now 6 months and her "colicky" evenings improved massively once we realised she had silent reflux. Lots of wanting to feed and then refusing, gasping noises in the back of her throat, arching back, tummy cramps, clear sick, hated being laid flat. All sorted now and she's like a different baby! Ended up going dairy free as that's the root of it all, but if none of that sounds familiar then maybe teething? X

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 09:04

He is six weeks old so too soon for teething but wondered about reflux.... He's not properly sick though just possess from time to time and I don't eat much dairy. Just again this morning so so distressed, seemed in real pain but not hungry or wet then stopped as soon as started... Is starting again so off this is horrible so sorry for him!

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squidzin · 14/12/2015 09:08

6 weeks old!? This is what they do. Newborns don't get tummy ache, don't get agonising pain from "gas".
They get HUNGRY.

Are you breast feeding?

Their tummies are small, but their hunger is big. At this age they cry because they need milk constantly.

squidzin · 14/12/2015 09:10

Milk, cuddles, milk, cuddles.

Mine would cry if I put him down. They like to be held a lot.

squidzin · 14/12/2015 09:13

Chances are your supply of breast milk is trying to catch up with your babies needs.

At 6 weeks it is probably a growth spurt which results in a lot of crying for milk.

squidzin · 14/12/2015 09:14

*baby's needs.

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 09:24

I thought that too and feeding cuddling round clock, co sleeping etc and breast or holding normally soothes him quickly, it just didn't at all or for more than few seconds last night and the cry seemed unfamiliar and as if in pain, same this morning

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Footle · 14/12/2015 09:32

Earache ?

ShootTheMoon · 14/12/2015 09:37

Take a look at Wonder Weeks - he may be having a developmental leap and just being cranky.

squidzin · 14/12/2015 09:37

Ok yeah could be ear infection. Call GP.

Don't understimate the breastfeeding-hunger relationship though. During a growth spurt they need more milk than you can supply, and I know these times to be confusing and traumatic from all the crying. I'm sure you are doing all you can.

A quick check up with a medical professional will certainly help.

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 09:42

Seeing gp tnrw for six week check, thank you!

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AnnaBegins · 14/12/2015 09:45

So much sympathy as I think we are going through the same at 10 weeks. Screaming at the breast even though he's really hungry, just screams and won't latch. We know he has reflux so could that be something you could look at? Our issue seems wind related, maybe associating feeding with wind pain, but we're going to the GP today to rule out anything else. I'll let you know if they have any good ideas!

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 09:51

Thank you! It's almost as if he's forgotten how to latch sometimes today and last night! Weirdly only thing that helped for a little while was wrapping him up and going outside

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nippa · 14/12/2015 10:01

My daughter used to do this when she was a baby, too. Have a read of this article on Kellymom about cluster feeding and fussy evenings.

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 10:02

Also - no idea if relevant but recently he's had his tongue out a lot, not esp when unhappy but not sure if symptom of something else causing discomfort

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Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 15:25

I'm scared about how to tell the gp all my concerns and that I am worried my anxiety is back in case all my concerns get dismissed as anxiety. I know they're not, not all of them but I need to mention the anxiety as is getting really bad so need help. I think it's best to start with worries about him then when they are discussed mention mine but think will cry anyway and be dismissed as anxious new mum

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scarednoob · 14/12/2015 16:24

Sounds like 6 weeks to me! 6-8 weeks was so bad with fussiness and cluster feeding and rejecting the boob only to scream for it 5 mins later that it culminated with me on my knees by the bed and both of us sobbing. But that was the lowest patch and after about 8 weeks it got so much easier. Now I panic that she is far far too easy and she's going to be a pushover/a bit dim!!!!

There is something called post natal anxiety; it sounds a bit as if you may have a touch of that? I think it's v normal for a FTM to worry a lot, but not to the extent that you can't see the wood for the trees (or the baby for the googled condition!!!).

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 16:31

Thanks for replying! Had another thread about baby not smiling and think all related... Am scared baby not smiling is bad sign... Baby won't smile whilst uncomfortable with whatever it is... Don't know what it is... Feel stuck in horrible cycle and convinced baby miserable and has something wrong and I can't help!

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Jw35 · 14/12/2015 16:37

I don't believe babies just cry for no reason. My baby did this at 3 weeks and if I believed in 'purple crying' and other nonsense I wouldn't have acted. I changed her formula to anti reflux and the crying stopped. Please rule out reflux before assuming he's just crying for nothing. It's very common x

JassyRadlett · 14/12/2015 16:47

Newborns don't get tummy ache, don't get agonising pain from "gas". They get HUNGRY

DS1 certainly was hungry. Six minutes into every feed, he would start screaming. Because he was in pain thanks to silent reflux.

Of course, he hadn't had a full feed in that six minutes, so an hour or two later we got to do the whole thing again.

Best bit was, because he was gaining weight, the doctor and HVs didn't give a shit. It was incredibly hard to get anyone to take seriously. Thankfully he outgrew it.

It's a very different cry to the cry of a newborn who's uncomfortable because they need to fart, or who is outraged because you expect them to operate a digestive system. Having a second baby who doesn't have reflux beyond the normal 'let me show you my milk' has been an eye opener.

OP - a lot of the time newborns are just irrational angry little beings. Being part of the world is an OUTRAGE and they want you to know it. If it was a one off episode last night/today, I'd just forget it - your baby was cross for a reason no one will ever know (probably by the end, upset because feeling tired/rubbish from the effort of letting you know he's upset!)

I think there's a developmental leap around this time too - DS2 is nearly 8 weeks and has been fussier this week.

If it goes on, don't rule out reflux or an ear infection. Baby ears are bastards.

scarednoob · 14/12/2015 17:27

And don't stress about smiling. Like I said on your other thread, I was hysterical about the lack of smiles at your DS' age. It is hard when you go to them and they just stare blankly over your shoulder at the lamp!

But it will happen and then you'll regret the time you spent worrying as it's precious time you don't get back. Just now I popped 12 week old DD into her bouncer and went to put some spare wrapping paper in the bin. When she saw me again, a massive gummy grin split her little face, and she cooed out loud with excitement. That will be your DS before you know it - I thought it would never happen too, but of course it did!

JassyRadlett · 14/12/2015 19:06

I missed your comment about smiling - he's honestly on the early end for smiles still.

DS2 has yet to smile at me. He has smiled at my boob a couple of times though....

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 14/12/2015 19:57

Thanks all :) his granny says he has smiled and really hope just being nuts. Will see what gp makes of it all xxx

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Bounced · 14/12/2015 20:18

We had a book with a list of about twenty things to do if your baby screams inconsolably. The page corner is still turned down...

The baby concerned is now 7yo and still rather over-reacts to pain, noise and other stuff. At his age, we tried sling (walking outside), milk, back patting, darkness, quietness, music, white noise, singing, new nappy, cuddles, more milk, swaddling, adding / removing clothing, warm bath (with mum or dad) and a swing. Sometimes one of them worked. But sometimes it was just all too much and nothing helped except getting bigger and more used to the world.

Original poster

Nervouswithnewborn · 15/12/2015 18:08

Gp lovely and diagnosed reflux. Said baby unlikely to smile whilst had it and gave me prescription for ranitidine which the chemist has ordered in for tomorrow. She also prescribed me paroxetine, anti depressants. Keen to take them if they will help but scared as a. Read ssri can affect baby digestion etc which seems counter intuitive and also first two weeks can go downhill rather than uphill and already v low so scared... Should have discussed with gp but baby screaming so much didn't think!! May start new thread on this but anyone with any knowledge or advice here on ranitidine or the ads please let me know, thank you!!!!

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