Food-refusing twenty-one month old

[NefertitisTitties]

Please help. My 21 month-old has begun arching her back and crying when we try to lift her into her high chair at meal times. When the food arrives (please don't judge but we still largely feed her as opposed to her feeding herself ) it's perpetual 'No! No! No!' despite it being her very favourite dishes (including custard/ice cream puddings!) She has always demanded the telly on during meal times (I know, I know...we are just shit ) but now even her favourite programmes cannot convince her to open her gob.

Annoyingly, she has started to ask for milk around late afternoon (which I refuse to give) and ask for 'bed! bed!' So bizarre. What the hell is going on? Is it a phase? How long will it last? What methods did you use to cajole your baby into eating? And what class A drugs will help me through this hateful meal time madness?

Time for finger food. Give her some control and independence.

Get her involved in looking at food in the shops, preparing it and let her fed herself.

Personally, the TV went off during meal times when they were small but it makes no difference as when they are older they will just do it anyway!

Make mealtimes enjoyable for you both. Get teddy or dolly to have a place at the table so you can discuss their food likes and dislikes which may help in getting your child to eat.

Any sign of stress and you won't get anywhere.

You are not shit in anyway, raising a child is a unique experience and you are doing what we all do - your best.

If you try letting her have the spoon herself or finger food what would she do? Ds still has a mix of feeding himself and us feeding however he would scream if nothing in his hand to eat as he got in!

Thank you do much for responding. Our baby eats things like fruit and toast by herself, and when I feed her I give us both a spoon and I shovel in what she drops. My husband has a 'thing' about mess, slips and sticky fingers (his and anyone else's) and so he feeds her all the bloody time rather than giving her control (i know the answer is for me to feed her always but I'm currently crippled with SPD and can't sit at the table).

Including toys at mealtimes is a fab idea and ill try that immediately. Thanks again.

Suspect the bed request is because she knows she gets milk at bedtime?

Sadly getting her do to it herself is important, as she needs to learn and learning will include mess.

Could you do more at the table? Stickers and colouring, so she's ok with the highchair, or offer some meals at a little table, eg breakfast or snacks so it's not always so formal?

Also, my Dd is 21 mo and starting to refuse previously loved food, so don't worry too much, a lot will be a phase and nothing you've done.

Oh, thank you, Little, that's such a good idea, the smaller and less formal table at certain meals. Really great!

Can she feed herself? It seems like she can but the mess thing is making your husband step in more than he should.

I have a 22m old and just let him get on with it. It is messy at the moment but if they don't learn you're actually extending the messy phase.

Is she in childcare at all, is there any difference there?

Toast, you're spot-on, of course, and I honestly think if he had his way he'd still be feeding her at uni.

She isn't in childcare (we are both SAHPs whilst I'm on maternity leave) but goes to nursery next Easter. I'm due to give birth in seven weeks and want this bloody feeding issue sorted!

Could you extend the finger foods? My dd is a terrible eater but will eat fish fingers and chicken goujons (found some with decent ingredients)

Huddle! Our daughter just ate two fishfingers (dipping them in ketchup) whilst sitting on her musical chair at a teeny tiny table (thanks, Little!) whilst being micro-managed by her favourite cuddly toy (thanks, Tate!)

She refused breakfast and lunch today so I was pretty desperate to get something in her tummy at tea time. Thanks again, everybody.

Not Huddle, Huffle!*