Aggressive toddler

[Twasthecatthatdidit]

Nursery told us today that our son is aggressive with other children, hitting out and being aggressive generally. He was v tired today (only got 4 hours sleep last night as has been unsettled since he came back from holiday) but they said it's not only today. They say it's got to the point where the other children are starting to not want to play with him. I'm so upset, I feel like such a bad parent. His previous childminder found him difficult to deal with too. He is almost 3 and is in childcare full time for about 7 to 9 hours a day.

Sorry I never actually asked a question there - just want to know does anyone have any tips for what we should be doing?

My son was a bit like this.

Lots of role play with little figures about where someone hits or pushes and how that makes everyone feel.

With my son it was usually a reaction to having to share or someone being in his face or pushing him. We spent a loooonnnggg time talking about what to do when he wanted a toy, etc and relying heavily on him telling his preschool workers so they could help him.

Also I drummed it in to him that if it was all getting a bit too noisy or stressy that he should go sit in the quiet reading spot and try and calm down.

Sometimes three year old just get overwhelmed and need a coping strategy that isn't hit the other child.

Anyway, it seems to have worked. I'm sure he still hits and pushes a bit at school but to a normal three year old level. And trust me, nearly all three year old push and hit.

The nursery my DS goes to issues letters yesterday basically apologising for a particular child who has been hitting and being aggressive with other children including DS. She had agreed to the letter and the disclosure. I have my concerns as DS was pushed by this child into a towel rail and this bruised his back, and we have spoken to nursery staff about this. The other side though, was that I could see how worrying it must be for her, and how upsetting and embarrassing it must be for her to have to allow details of her child who has SEN and a difficult background. 3 years old is a good time to start seeing how children deal with upset, tiredness and anger. DS is no angel and gets frustrated and has hit me, DH and my DM before. All we've done and can do is behaviour management and praising good behaviour whilst talking about how hurting people is not nice.

My 18 month old baby crys constantly over nothing!!! He sure gives me hell during the day. Anyway when he does not get his way he's beating himself, banging his head on the ground or wall, also hits his 6 year old brother with anything he can lift which is so sad to see. I've put him in the room but that don't seem to last long as he won't stop, his granny's can't seem to handle him as well I want him to get along with people but never works. What can I do for him to stop him being so aggressive???

I'm going through this with my 2yo - he seems to get particularly stressed with little girls. I like the idea of role playing - DS is closer to 2 than 3, but he has just got into role playing with animals. Any other suggestions gratefully received - he has an amazing childminder but I'm mortified that he has been pushing/pulling hair etc.