Reception teacher wants me to get DD referred to Paediatric Development expert

[threelittlerapscallions]

DD started Reception end of September, she turns 5 in the Spring. She has settled well and has made lots of friends. The teacher however thinks I should get her checked out by a paediatrician as she says her fine and gross motor skills are behind most of the other children eg she can't do/undo her buttons and has not written any letters though she is learning to recognise many letters now.

She also does not talk to the teachers much so they have asked me if her speech is OK and I have said she talks really well at home and I know she talks a lot to her friends and her sister.

I tend to think, she is 4, she is happy just to leave it as children develop at different rates. I did mention to the teacher she is hypermobile so did walk late (just after she turned 2). At that time we saw a Paediatrician who said she was fine - just hypermobile children later to walk and to me she seems fine running around and on her scooter etc. She is a bit impractical eg with the buttons and I would like her to start writing some letters but I thought this would come with time.

Should I see the GP and get her referred to paed or should I wait and see as no need to label her if nothing wrong surely?

If anyone has any experiences to share I would be interested.

juneau that is so true!! Just like a lot of medical professionals smoke I suppose!

While you're waiting for your referral you could ask for some recommendations from the teacher for activities to help with fine and gross motor skills. Some ideas:

• put glitter in deep tray and get her to draw letter shapes

• play with water pistols and/or plant sprays -bath time is good for this
• lacing
• using scissors or things with a similar action
• cutting play dough with kids scissors

Get jumbo plastic tweezers and play games picking things up with them, like craft pompoms, cheerios, maltesers.

Gross skills - playgrounds offer lots of opportunities for developing lower and upper body strength.

There are lots of ideas on the web. Also, like many parents you may struggle with time/.resources. I know I do, but I try to get DS doing something along these lines. Sometimes it's just encouraging him to pick up a pen and do some scribbling. He's 3 and is now lacking confidence as lots of others in his class can write and he cannot form letters yet. (Apparently some are reading!)

Good luck!

Thanks luciole the teacher has suggested some of these things. DD won't do the tweezers or anything that is obviously to help her hand strength as says they are strong already but she will play with playdough. She is a bit upset as told me some girl in her class has told her she can't write and draw 'properly'.

Maybe use children's chopsticks to make it less obvious. You also need to make it a game. How quickly can you transfer x beads form one dish to another? Using a stick to make letters or pictures in wet sand or finger in flour or bubbles at bath time. Playground chalk on the patio. Water play. Will she do Hama beads or Lego?

Kids can be so nasty sometimes! DS has completely lost his confidence drawing/ writing (can't do latter at all and drawing is prob not as developed as some). So today I bribed him with a sweet per letter. I wrote his name in dots and helped him join them up. Heaped the praise on and bigged him up a lot. He was so chuffed he'd written his own name. (And the sugar haters can scoff all they like. It worked for potty training and now he's full trained doesn't expect a sweet for every pee/poo!)

Lizs - those are nice ideas. I might steal some.

I visited a school recently where the deputy head was explaining that early years education is 'sold' to the kids as play yet was actually highly structured learning.

It really is worth getting the hyper mobility checked out. DD was also borderline hyper mobile/dyspraxic and we got some OT which made a big difference, but this also got her some aids for in the classroom, such as pencil grips and a writing slope, both of which really helped too.

And FWIW, there is also a correlation between hyper mobility and giftedness too.

LIZS she plays with the bigger lego not mega blocks the one slightly smaller - my fault as I have a 5 month old so havent got her the tiny pieces yet but I will. I will try chopsticks idea.

opioneers - interesting - one thing DD seems to have a special talent for so far is imagining loads of things - she spends ages pretending to be different characters/voices etc and makes her sister take part too. She is a bit eccentric (not sure if that is right word). Though I am too and so are a lot of our family.

She loves pretending but does not want to be in the nativity as does not like the part given to her - also can be really shy and refuse to speak to people but can talk well to the most unlikely people eg recently a street busker she asked him all about his juggling balls also talked to father Christmas at a school fair today.

luciole yes kids can be nasty - I think DD needs to find something she can be good at and shine at and has realised that many of the others are better at writing and drawing than she is. I don't think this girl is really that bad - just pointing out the obvious as children do.

I just wanted to post to agree with others that having good speech doesn't rule out autism. The Nice clinical guidelines have changed to say that autism cannot be ruled out because of good eye contact or good speech. Asd is far more complex than most people realise.

My son is 3.5 and has autism. His speech appears excellent on the surface, he started talking normally and has long sentences similar to other children his age. However he tends to echo a lot of what is being said and doesn't always understand context etc. In fact when he recently had his speech assessment for part of his ehcp (statement) his comprehension was found to be in the bottom 2%. Even the speech therapist was surprised - he masks very, very well day to day.

My sons asd is quite severe (to the point we are looking at special schools for next September) and yet people meeting him assume he is totally "normal" because he is relatively chatty and has good eye contact.

I hope your dd doesn't turn out to have asd but I would definitely explore all the possibilities. If she does have asd the earlier the diagnosis the better.

Interesting fairylea will not rule it out. her speech and eye contact good and she does understand what would be expected at her age and cares what other children in the class think of her hence her being upset another girl said her drawing and writing was not good. But I def wouldnt rule it out as I am no expert on ASD. I also know it can appear different in girls.

Just a quick return to my thread if anyone is still looking!!

GP appointment is on Monday - what should I say to DD about why I am taking her to the doctors? I could pretend it is about an ear infection she had weeks ago to 'check its better' but other than that she has had nothing wrong with her. I don't want her to think she is not 'as good' as her peers and some things like writing/drawing even though a classmate has been making horrible comments about her drawing and I think DD has told the girl she is a poo and now the Mum is glaring at me!!!

Get a written note from school teacher listing concerns
Ask for referral to community physio or o t who csn run assessment ag abc movement battery it's a series of fun exercises activities and gives score where ypur dd is eg my dd hypermobility walked at teo etc did this age five it showed some motor skills were way behind.
Educational psychologist via school can do assessments too.

Dd walked age two

My dd is 10 and is being referred to paediatric dept to be assessed as its possible she has ASD. She's very bright and intelligent, very good at maths, art and sport in particular but socially she's on a different level. She is very quiet in school bit comes home and has a meltdown with the stress of holding everything in all day. Girls tend to copy other girls so she knows if she kicks off at school she will get picked on. So she holds it in. I can tell as soon as she gets home whether we are in for a rough evening. Poor girl. I know she's got a number of issues, obsessive behaviours, anxiety and poor social skills and I have been battling for an assessment since she was 4. Finally someone has listened.

If you can get a referral then grab it. Because if the issues are still there in a few years you might regret not taking this opportunity. Getting referrals is extremely difficult unless your child is "extreme".

Just read your last post and I wouldn't take her, go on your own with a list of things the teacher has flagged.

Brilliant Coffee I will go on my own though thought the GP would want to see her though he/she wouldn't notice anything unusual about her except a bit of shyness so maybe better not to take her.

cestlavie is too late for note as school ended for Christmas - will get one if GP doesn't refer - otherwise the teacher has listed to me her concerns and I remember what she said.

I didnt know you could go to GP and not take the patient!!

I've done it for dd as I don't ink it's fair for dd to have to listen to me discussing her meltdowns plus its easier as you don't need to worry about what you are saying will upset your dc. I hope the appointment goes well.

Thanks coffeeisnectar, I think you are right.

Spoke to GP today while DD was in car outside with her Dad. She said DDs problems didn't sound too serious (once I said yes she could dress herself if no laces/zips and buttons were involved, was toilet trained with no accidents and her speech was fine). GP wanted to do a paediatric assessment at GP surgery in February before referring her to specialist and I said OK to this.
Then brought in DD who refused to speak to the doctor of course!! Dr checked her ear as i had told her the appointment was to check her ear infection hadn't come back!!

My main worry with DD is why she wont talk to adults unless she knows them very well ie family and close friends (even some I have known ages she won't talk to). She talks to children and is sociable with them generally.

Well that gives you time to ask school to record concerns and record specific examples.

Have you read up on selective mutism at all? If she's regularly not able to speak in certain situations / to certain people despite being able to speak well in others, then SM may be an issue. The lack of speech is to do with anxiety, not refusal, so it's important not to perceive it as naughty or rude.

Wikipedia has a good summary if you want to read up on it. There's an info and support organisation called SMIRA (at smira.org) they also have a very helpful Facebook group.

Make sure her teachers are aware of SM as a possibility as there is a lot they could do to help her overcome it at this stage.

A professional is telling you she is concerned about your daughters development , why wouldn't you take her advice and have her seen? If she is fine no harm done but if there is an issue you are getting his dealt with as quickly as possible.