Reception teacher wants me to get DD referred to Paediatric Development expert

[threelittlerapscallions]

DD started Reception end of September, she turns 5 in the Spring. She has settled well and has made lots of friends. The teacher however thinks I should get her checked out by a paediatrician as she says her fine and gross motor skills are behind most of the other children eg she can't do/undo her buttons and has not written any letters though she is learning to recognise many letters now.

She also does not talk to the teachers much so they have asked me if her speech is OK and I have said she talks really well at home and I know she talks a lot to her friends and her sister.

I tend to think, she is 4, she is happy just to leave it as children develop at different rates. I did mention to the teacher she is hypermobile so did walk late (just after she turned 2). At that time we saw a Paediatrician who said she was fine - just hypermobile children later to walk and to me she seems fine running around and on her scooter etc. She is a bit impractical eg with the buttons and I would like her to start writing some letters but I thought this would come with time.

Should I see the GP and get her referred to paed or should I wait and see as no need to label her if nothing wrong surely?

If anyone has any experiences to share I would be interested.

I don't really want to say as I don't want to mislead you and I'm not an expert .

The test is very basic and they will want to see your child on their own with at least one parent. We had our assessment at home with the other sibling playing in the back yard with DH.

I can't give you advice on girls or on ASD, but you're right to follow this up simply because IF intervention is needed, the earlier its given the better it will be for your DD.

My DS2, who is also reception age and hypermobile, is nowhere near as physically able and assured as DS1 and some of that is normal for a child who is hypermobile, but this young teacher is likely to be completely up-to-date with modern thinking on child development and I would follow her advice, if it was me.

As for the speech, have you had her hearing checked? Its usually the first thing that is looked at, although you say she's chatty at home so that may be irrelevant.

Bottom line, if help is offered, take it. You want your DD to do well and keep up reasonably well with her peers and some DC need a bit of extra help to make that happen. IME, rather a lot of DC need some help at some stage or other, so don't feel bad that maybe your DD is one of those DC.

In my experience also, teachers don't tend to be 'over-zealous' in pushing for assessment, it's more often the case that they can minimise issues/put it down to immaturity etc.

JustaWee that is exactly what I was thinking when I started this thread - that they are only 4 and in some countries they don't start school until 7. However I can see it would do no harm to get things checked out.

Juneau I will ask the Doc to do a hearing and eye test too though I think both are fine.

Ds was exactly like this and it really affected his confidence because he didn't get help quick enough. Since he's seen the occupational therapy team they've got help in place, such as theraputty and exercises for his very hyper mobile hands.

I'd get her seenZ

Asd and hypermobility are anecdotally linked. Also aspergers does not have a link with delayed speech like hfa does.

Depending on the age there are two hearing tests they can do. You want the more detailed one that they normally give to kids age 5+. Sometimes when they hear that your DC is having development issues they will give the one for younger kids. It's not as accurate.

As an example, with DS we thought he had more hearing than he actually has. When I pushed them to do the detailed hearing test all of a sudden there was a collective 'uh oh' when it transpired that DS can only hear about 5% of the range of noises. The other test just showed there was some blockage of sound but didn't give much indication of how just how much.

Pob - what help does you DS get now and how old is he? How is his writing?

Supermum thanks - I doubt she has a hearing problem but will get it checked in case. it is interesting there is a more detailed test. She talks well to other children and to adults she knows well.

Seven I didn't know ASD and hypermobility were linked. I know we are all supposed to be on the spectrum somewhere!

I'd agree with everyone saying it's worth seeking a referral as even if there isn't a particular diagnosis it may be that some occupational therapy will help her. Our ds (who is 5.5 and has Aspergers - not saying that's what's going on with your daughter) is hypermobile with low muscle tone and it was his poor fine motor skills and gross motor skills when he was 4 that were the first thing we were able to get help with well before diagnosis (he doesn't have a speech delay and so it was only around 4 that it became clear his issues were more than typical toddler/preschooler stuff). Occupational therapy has made such a difference to his ability to draw, write, play and join in with the things other children do. His confidence has improved so much, it really has changes his life. His OT taught him how to do buttons just before he turned 5!

When I say linked I mean many people with hypermobility syndrome do not have ASD. However people who have a diagnosis of ASD have a higher incidence of hypermobility syndrome than the average population.

He's almost 9 now and struggles with confidence in his writing because of experiences of lagging behind in the past. His writing isn't very neat.

He has various exercises and input from OT now.

As a mother whose ds wasn't diagnosed with ASD until 11 after years of misery, fobbing off and trouble at primary school I would be grateful the school are on it and at least go along for assessment - if it is the case I believe the earlier the support the better. Seeing as the school have highlighted this I would have more hope to that they are able to give her appropriate support. Unlike ds's year 6 teacher (also assistant head) who announced "Well I'm not going to treat him any differently" after hearing about diadnosis. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

As a parent of a hypermobile dd with dyspraxia I would say get it checked now. Looking back I knew when did was smaller. I had looked at dyspraxia a lot over the years but made excuses because when they are small yes they do develop at different rates so there was my first excuse. I spoil her a bit was my second. She was the oldest so did things for her for longer than her brothers etc. they went on.
By the time she was 9 and her brother just over 2 1/2 years younger had over taken her in lots of ways I had a silly lightening bolt moment when she said something about a pair of jeans and I realised I needed to get her seen. I really wish I'd trusted my earlier instincts more because getting support is a long painful process when resources are stretched and the transition to secondary has been a struggle. Had I done it sooner we would have had a much better idea of what she needed much earlier.
Children aren't labelled too young. Children are diagnosed. And the sooner the better. The assessments may show nothing and she may just catch up but if they do it proves she needs a little support and that can all be set in motion.

Thanks Pob, glad your DS is getting the help he needs now.

FauxPas - I had never even considered ASD for DD (had it in my head that she wouldn't have friends and would have poor speech if she had ASD of course I know I am wrong).

Dreams that is really interesting and helpful - what types of things does your DD struggle with now?

GP appointment now 21st December as i booked it by accident at same time as nativity play (!!) so had to move it and that was the first one they have available (yes we live in London!)

I am wondering if hypomobility is inheritrd - no one in the family that I know of has it except for DD. i was a bit impractical as a child but expectations were different 30 years ago - my reception teacher complained to my Mum that I couldn't do shoelaces.

inherited

DH thinks all this is nonsense and that DD is fine and the school are OTT. He says get her seen if it keeps the school happy but she is perfectly fine!! He used to be a teacher too (secondary) though left a while ago to start his own business so he should know better. He has also taught a couple of children with ASD and had great rapport with them but think he is different when comes to his own child. Doesn't see things clearly. Though I doubt DD has ASD but I do think she needs help with the hypermobility and possible dyspraxia.

I won't listen to him though I have taken on board what you have all said and will definitely get a paediatric appointment and will update you all with what the doctors say.

The teacher has noticed that her physical development is behind other children in the class, and behind the rest of her development, and just wants to know what she can do to help. It's in the teacher's best interests for your DD to do well too. If there is something the GP can pin down then the school can organise interventions, physio, OT or whatever else may help. It isn't about "labelling".

Really interested to read your post. Dd (now 14) has hyper mobility (which wasn't diagnosed until she was 12 and I took her to a physio because she kept spraying her ankle). She also was referred to a specialist at the age of four by a teacher for similar reasons to your Dd - though I had never connected this with her hyper mobility until I read your post. We were living in Germany at the time and at a French school so something may have been lost in translation. Just wanted to come and reassure really - therapist did various tests. Dd used to hold her pencil in a very odd way and therapist gave a few simple exercises and also recommended a rubber thing which you slide on the top of the pencil to help with grip. Like you I was a bit about taking her, but it was all very reassuring and helpful in the end. Dd had no other issues (no ASD or anything like that) so I don't think these two things are necessarily connected. Her issue was more with recognising numbers and the therapist gave us various games to play to help with this - all long in the past now in fact I'd forgotten all about it until I read your post. Dd's maths is fine now - but maybe that early intervention did the trick - who knows? Just wanted to say get her checked out and don't worry about it - I realise now the teacher who flagged it up to us was doing her job (she could have just ignored it and put it down to the fact that Dd was having to operate in three languages at the time). Noone's going to be sticking any label on her, but if she does need a bit of help the sooner she gets it the better. Don't worry about it.

Three did is 12 now. She still struggles with the fiddly parts of dressing. Denim is stiff so she struggles with the buttons. Was 10 before she could zip up her jacket. Can tie shoe laces but it's still like she has just learnt if you know what I mean. Still loose, come undone easily. Her organisation and concentration are poor. Her spelling and handwriting at bad and her drawings still quite immature. Her gross motor skills aren't awful but her fine motor skills are very poor.

DH thinks all this is nonsense and that DD is fine and the school are OTT

It seems to me that men have a harder time accepting that their DC might have issues that require additional support. I don't know why that is! But OP you're doing the right thing. Good luck with your appt on 21st.

I also meant to say that just because he used to be a teacher himself doesn't mean anything. My stepdad (a GP), lived with my sister for years and never noticed that she's clinically depressed. The cobbler's DC always go without shoes ...