Reception teacher wants me to get DD referred to Paediatric Development expert

[threelittlerapscallions]

DD started Reception end of September, she turns 5 in the Spring. She has settled well and has made lots of friends. The teacher however thinks I should get her checked out by a paediatrician as she says her fine and gross motor skills are behind most of the other children eg she can't do/undo her buttons and has not written any letters though she is learning to recognise many letters now.

She also does not talk to the teachers much so they have asked me if her speech is OK and I have said she talks really well at home and I know she talks a lot to her friends and her sister.

I tend to think, she is 4, she is happy just to leave it as children develop at different rates. I did mention to the teacher she is hypermobile so did walk late (just after she turned 2). At that time we saw a Paediatrician who said she was fine - just hypermobile children later to walk and to me she seems fine running around and on her scooter etc. She is a bit impractical eg with the buttons and I would like her to start writing some letters but I thought this would come with time.

Should I see the GP and get her referred to paed or should I wait and see as no need to label her if nothing wrong surely?

If anyone has any experiences to share I would be interested.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Hello just to update the GP didn't think there was anything to be concerned about with DD. She did paediatric assessment - wasn't referred to paediatrician.

After talking to DD over Christmas her Dad and I realised that school is not the right place for her.....so we are starting on the home education journey. Very exciting and DD so much happier - thanks all for your replies and advice!

[threelittlerapscallions]

It has also crossed my mind that she really doesn't like school as she did talk and seemed settled at nursery. It is the Christmas holidays now and DD seems so much happier and every morning asks if there is school and is really happy when I say no! If this continues have even thought of taking her out for a year and Home Edding.

[threelittlerapscallions]

DD does talk to teachers but much less than she talks at home I get the impression. I will mention the selective mutism thing to the teacher next term - thanks, worth considering.

[GnomePhone]

It might be worth contacting the Speech and Language service in your area to see if they are experienced with Selective Mutism (some are more so than others, in some areas they don't deal with it at all). If they are, they should be able to assess and diagnose, then provide advice to school.

It does sound like this might be an issue if there are adults she is consistently unable to speak to. You may find that it is dismissed as shyness, but if that's all it is then it should noticeably improve as she gets to know people - if you find that isn't happening then don't be afraid to dig deeper.

Also consider whether she is able to speak at a normal level to her teachers - some teachers will fail to take the issue seriously as long as the child is able to mutter an answer to a question, however this can still be SM if they are unable to communicate at an age-appropriate level.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Gnome that is really interesting. She was fine speaking to her friends Mum today and also to the other children at soft play. Yet the teacher and the doctor yesterday she wouldn't say a word to.

Whatdoido - I see your point though I do not always think a professional is right just because they are a professional. I used to be a teacher myself and I was not always right about every child. A good friend who is a retired primary teacher and knows DD well thinks DD is in no need of any developmental assessment. Having said that I will not dismiss what the teacher says and will look into it further.

[Whatdoidohelp]

A professional is telling you she is concerned about your daughters development , why wouldn't you take her advice and have her seen? If she is fine no harm done but if there is an issue you are getting his dealt with as quickly as possible.

[GnomePhone]

Have you read up on selective mutism at all? If she's regularly not able to speak in certain situations / to certain people despite being able to speak well in others, then SM may be an issue. The lack of speech is to do with anxiety, not refusal, so it's important not to perceive it as naughty or rude.

Wikipedia has a good summary if you want to read up on it. There's an info and support organisation called SMIRA (at smira.org) they also have a very helpful Facebook group.

Make sure her teachers are aware of SM as a possibility as there is a lot they could do to help her overcome it at this stage.

[cestlavielife]

Well that gives you time to ask school to record concerns and record specific examples.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Spoke to GP today while DD was in car outside with her Dad. She said DDs problems didn't sound too serious (once I said yes she could dress herself if no laces/zips and buttons were involved, was toilet trained with no accidents and her speech was fine). GP wanted to do a paediatric assessment at GP surgery in February before referring her to specialist and I said OK to this.
Then brought in DD who refused to speak to the doctor of course!! Dr checked her ear as i had told her the appointment was to check her ear infection hadn't come back!!

My main worry with DD is why she wont talk to adults unless she knows them very well ie family and close friends (even some I have known ages she won't talk to). She talks to children and is sociable with them generally.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Thanks coffeeisnectar, I think you are right.

[coffeeisnectar]

I've done it for dd as I don't ink it's fair for dd to have to listen to me discussing her meltdowns plus its easier as you don't need to worry about what you are saying will upset your dc. I hope the appointment goes well.

[threelittlerapscallions]

I didnt know you could go to GP and not take the patient!!

[threelittlerapscallions]

cestlavie is too late for note as school ended for Christmas - will get one if GP doesn't refer - otherwise the teacher has listed to me her concerns and I remember what she said.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Brilliant Coffee I will go on my own though thought the GP would want to see her though he/she wouldn't notice anything unusual about her except a bit of shyness so maybe better not to take her.

[coffeeisnectar]

Just read your last post and I wouldn't take her, go on your own with a list of things the teacher has flagged.

[coffeeisnectar]

My dd is 10 and is being referred to paediatric dept to be assessed as its possible she has ASD. She's very bright and intelligent, very good at maths, art and sport in particular but socially she's on a different level. She is very quiet in school bit comes home and has a meltdown with the stress of holding everything in all day. Girls tend to copy other girls so she knows if she kicks off at school she will get picked on. So she holds it in. I can tell as soon as she gets home whether we are in for a rough evening. Poor girl. I know she's got a number of issues, obsessive behaviours, anxiety and poor social skills and I have been battling for an assessment since she was 4. Finally someone has listened.

If you can get a referral then grab it. Because if the issues are still there in a few years you might regret not taking this opportunity. Getting referrals is extremely difficult unless your child is "extreme".

[cestlavielife]

Dd walked age two

[cestlavielife]

Get a written note from school teacher listing concerns
Ask for referral to community physio or o t who csn run assessment ag abc movement battery it's a series of fun exercises activities and gives score where ypur dd is eg my dd hypermobility walked at teo etc did this age five it showed some motor skills were way behind.
Educational psychologist via school can do assessments too.

[threelittlerapscallions]

Just a quick return to my thread if anyone is still looking!!

GP appointment is on Monday - what should I say to DD about why I am taking her to the doctors? I could pretend it is about an ear infection she had weeks ago to 'check its better' but other than that she has had nothing wrong with her. I don't want her to think she is not 'as good' as her peers and some things like writing/drawing even though a classmate has been making horrible comments about her drawing and I think DD has told the girl she is a poo and now the Mum is glaring at me!!!

[threelittlerapscallions]

Interesting fairylea will not rule it out. her speech and eye contact good and she does understand what would be expected at her age and cares what other children in the class think of her hence her being upset another girl said her drawing and writing was not good. But I def wouldnt rule it out as I am no expert on ASD. I also know it can appear different in girls.

[Fairylea]

I just wanted to post to agree with others that having good speech doesn't rule out autism. The Nice clinical guidelines have changed to say that autism cannot be ruled out because of good eye contact or good speech. Asd is far more complex than most people realise.

My son is 3.5 and has autism. His speech appears excellent on the surface, he started talking normally and has long sentences similar to other children his age. However he tends to echo a lot of what is being said and doesn't always understand context etc. In fact when he recently had his speech assessment for part of his ehcp (statement) his comprehension was found to be in the bottom 2%. Even the speech therapist was surprised - he masks very, very well day to day.

My sons asd is quite severe (to the point we are looking at special schools for next September) and yet people meeting him assume he is totally "normal" because he is relatively chatty and has good eye contact.

I hope your dd doesn't turn out to have asd but I would definitely explore all the possibilities. If she does have asd the earlier the diagnosis the better.

[threelittlerapscallions]

luciole yes kids can be nasty - I think DD needs to find something she can be good at and shine at and has realised that many of the others are better at writing and drawing than she is. I don't think this girl is really that bad - just pointing out the obvious as children do.

[threelittlerapscallions]

LIZS she plays with the bigger lego not mega blocks the one slightly smaller - my fault as I have a 5 month old so havent got her the tiny pieces yet but I will. I will try chopsticks idea.

opioneers - interesting - one thing DD seems to have a special talent for so far is imagining loads of things - she spends ages pretending to be different characters/voices etc and makes her sister take part too. She is a bit eccentric (not sure if that is right word). Though I am too and so are a lot of our family.

She loves pretending but does not want to be in the nativity as does not like the part given to her - also can be really shy and refuse to speak to people but can talk well to the most unlikely people eg recently a street busker she asked him all about his juggling balls also talked to father Christmas at a school fair today.

[opioneers]

It really is worth getting the hyper mobility checked out. DD was also borderline hyper mobile/dyspraxic and we got some OT which made a big difference, but this also got her some aids for in the classroom, such as pencil grips and a writing slope, both of which really helped too.

And FWIW, there is also a correlation between hyper mobility and giftedness too.