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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 3 year old has turned into a monster

20 replies

janey31 · 01/12/2006 18:59

Can anyone help me or give me some advice.

For the past two weeks my three year old boy has turned into nightmare, as soon as we get back from nursery he goes into a tantrum for no reason and starts kicking and punching me so i put him in his bedroom and he just kicks the door until he is allowed out, today he starting sashing his head on his toy drum and split his head open as a result. I dont know where this bheaviour has come from and I dont know how to deal with it especially the violence and agression.

I am 5 months pregnant too and it is just stressing me out and scaring me

OP posts:

Pruni · 01/12/2006 19:08

Message withdrawn

DonnerDasherDancerDior · 01/12/2006 19:08

My ds was horrible for a year from 3. It almost seemed to happen overnight as soon as he hit 3. Could it be because of the baby coming do you think?

danceswithreindeer · 01/12/2006 19:12

Oh me too, me too. Not physical stuff from dd but loads of naughtiness (like scribbling all over the kitchen table) and answering back ALL the time.

Pruni · 01/12/2006 19:13

Message withdrawn

Original poster

janey31 · 01/12/2006 19:15

He seems to be excited about the baby and always wants to kiss my tummy and he has no behavioural problems at nurseryand he also is as good as gold with everyone else except me !!!

OP posts:

Skyler · 01/12/2006 19:15

Oh gosh my dd is 3.8 and had just started being really disobedient, drawing on walls, dropping food on the floor, drink on the carpet etc etc. Also has amazing tantrums. So no advice sorry, just empathy for your situation.

poppiesinaline · 01/12/2006 20:11

Don't they call it Troublesome Threes

Maybe he is feeling just a little bit extra tired having started nursery. The baby thing may have more of an impact on him than you realise, although I am not sure that a 3 year old really grasps the concept of a pregnant belly - but be prepared for bad behaviour for a while when the baby turns up.

Also, don't boys have a testosterone surge at some point.. ? .. think that may be when they are 4 though ...

krimbokrackerskayzed · 01/12/2006 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

krimbokrackerskayzed · 01/12/2006 21:21

This reply has been deleted

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motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 01/12/2006 21:22

Can I just console you by saying DD2 was finding being three very difficult until quite recently - and now she's completely happy and very lovely again.

DumbledoresGirl · 01/12/2006 21:23

Another one here with a troublesome 3 year old. Mine is actually 3.9 and has recently started the temper tantrums having had a period of getting up in the night for no apparent reason (not normally a poor sleeper). The way I describe it is, if you tell him soemthing is black, he will say it is white, and if you agree it is white, he will instantly say no it is black.

Don't worry about it. It is a stage some go through. 2 of my 3 older children went through it too so that at least gives me some sense of perspective. Just stay as calm as you can and as consistent as you can.

Posey · 01/12/2006 21:26

We struggled with ds's behaviour from just under 3 to about 3.6. Are now back on track.
I think its a combination of tiredness, just "trying you out", new baby maybe...
My HV reckons 3s are far more terrible than 2s and have to agree.
Sorry not terribly helpful but you aren't alone.

madmarchhare · 01/12/2006 21:29

Sympathies janey, DS is 3 on monday and I have just had the week from hell. Today when DH got home I could have just walked out the door.

Having calmed down and thought about it I am going to try and be less shouty as I am almost sure, well I know, that it doesnt have any impact whatso ever.

Try giving him some 'jobs' to do, DS is at his best when he thinks he is 'helping' and getting lots of praise.

poshgirlformerlymaggiesmama · 01/12/2006 21:31

yep. same here. actually seems to be one day goregous, the next vile - literally one day on, one off. someone told me its called three-nagers. and thats just what its like. tantrums, door slamming etcetc

havnt a single constructive thing to add. except cereal before bedtime sdeems to calm her a bit. and, er, trusting her to stick to her word. she seems to glow with it.

krimbokrackerskayzed · 01/12/2006 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poppiesinaline · 01/12/2006 21:37

this thread has reminded me of the troublesome threes Can't believe my DS2 (who is a cute and pliable 19 month old) will turn into this one day. They come through it though.

I don't think a small child can grasp the concept of a pregnant belly. I mean, it is quite hard to get to grips with isnt it. Yes, they will touch the belly and say 'baby' etc but I don't think they can really understand all the implications it holds and whats in store. I had enough trouble myself! LOL

krimbokrackerskayzed · 01/12/2006 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DumbledoresGirl · 01/12/2006 21:39

It isn't inevitable that they will turn into monsters at 3 Poppies! My ds2 was an angel dropped from heaven until he went to school, and even then, he only became full of himself and cheeky and a bit absent-minded - not real naughtiness.

poppiesinaline · 01/12/2006 21:46

ahhh I hope you are right DG. DS2 is a completely different character so maybe he will miss all the horrible bits

I hope so.

indiemummy · 01/12/2006 21:59

hello, just wanted to echo what others have said - my ds was an angel right up until about 3.2 when he started being very over-sensitive, defensive and boisterous. Not all the time but enough for us to worry about him. I was about 5 months pg then too. Is challenging - DP is inclined to be firm and not put up with any nonsense whereas I just want him to feel secure and would rather cuddle him and talk about why he's upset/angry. We still haven't settled on a strategy!

When I pick him up from nursery and walk home he is full of adrenalin and tired and I have to play it v carefully, listening carefully, not asking the wrong questions, and then he's fine. But he's ready to cry or shout at the slightest thing.

Remember what the books say, you have to separate the child from the behaviour - he's not a naughty boy he's just done a naughty thing, or whatever. Good luck and hope it's just a phase!

Indiemummy xxx

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