Managing early tantrums

[Loops81]

My 17 m/o has recently started having little meltdowns when she can't have/do what she wants. It doesn't happen every day but when it does, it's impossible to console her - she writhes around making horrible wailing noises, won't be held... From experience, what is the best way to deal with these episodes? I want her to know I'm there and make her feel better, but don't want her to learn that she can get everything she wants by screaming.

ignore her. I know it sounds harsh but at this age (my ds is 21 months now so a bit older than your dd) they can't understand enough for any type of reasoning. I definitely don't try and make ds feel better about creating a scene-he gets ignored and/or removed. Ds still has tantrums but they're much more short lived when now he realises that not only will he not get what he wants but he won't get any attention either. It's embarrassing but I'm told that he'll be much better by the time he's 4! Aarghh!