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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Ds inconsolable when he comes home from nursery

21 replies

PipersOrange · 10/09/2015 18:40

DS is on day 3 of nursery and is nearly 1yo. According to the books and the workers he is settling in really well and absolutely having the time of his life, and when I pick him up he is really smiley. However the moment we come home all he does is cry and scream and arch his back and want to be put down, and then I put him down on the floor to play with him and he is just repeatedly banging his head on the floor and crying lying on his face. Is this normal!? I completely hate it and I have no idea what to do about it. He is now asleep after getting home at 6, so could it just be that he is really tired? He's never been like this at home with me

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Chchchchangeabout · 10/09/2015 18:44

I would guess tiredness. Mine was exhausted for the first few weeks. Is he napping well while there?

CultureSucksDownWords · 10/09/2015 18:49

Nursery really tires them out, and he does sound exhausted! I would just try to get him into bed asap like you have today.

Does he nap well at nursery?

BerylStreep · 10/09/2015 18:52

It's early days yet. He may settle, or he might just not enjoy that environment.

Mine hated nursery, and I eventually took them out and used a childminder (my only regret being that I didn't remove them earlier.)

CurlsLDN · 10/09/2015 19:00

Yep, sounds exactly like my ds. He is now 16months and started nursery at one.
My tips are always be ready with a substantial snack - I find that even if he's eaten well at nursery he can polish off a banana before bed.
Let him have a ten minute nap in the buggy/car home.
When you get home, either distract him (tonight ds sat in his highchair and 'helped' with the washing up) or snuggle up on the sofa and chill out watching cbeebies.

I just know that he'll be exceptionally tired/clingy/tantrummy after a busy day at nursery, so now I always think ahead about a snack and what we'll do for the hour before bed in order to keep him happy

CurlsLDN · 10/09/2015 19:01

By the way, I'm 100% confident that ds loves his nursery. It's precisely because he's had so much fun all day that he's so tired!

Finola1step · 10/09/2015 19:03

I would say a mixture of over tired and over stimulated by the new environment. It will settle. The key thing is that you see him happy when you collect.

HarlettOScara · 10/09/2015 19:06

Sounds familiar. Hunger and tiredness. My 3 year old can still be a bit like this after a busy day at nursery/pre-school. I agree with a substantial snack available at pick up and earlier bedtime until he adjusts.

originaldoris · 10/09/2015 19:07

Exhausted little chap. DS was worn out after a 'hard' day ar nursery - drawing, looking at books, singing, digging, poisoning feeding the goldfish.

When they are quite small, it's hard to communicate 'mum, I'm knackered - I need food and sleep!'.

I think it took about a half term for DS to get into the swing.

Fluffy24 · 10/09/2015 19:10

Sounds exhausted, maybe really stimulated at nursery which keeps him going when he's there but then a bit of a melt down when he gets home and it all hits him.

I'd do a big feed as soon as he gets home, as a PP suggested and get him to bed ASAP, I'd definately not try to keep him up and IME 6/6.30pm isn't particularly early for a bed time.

When he settled into nursery routine hopefully he'll nap there a bit better and be a bit more chipper when he gets home so he can stay up a bit later!

Original poster

PipersOrange · 11/09/2015 08:54

I think it's the fact that he never went to sleep before 10pm before nursery. I've never seen him in this state and its hard to see him this upset! He's waking in the night screaming as well and doesn't want to be cuddled or stroked and just screams himself back to sleep I think his molars might be coming through as well? I'm so scared to blame it on teeth I case I'm missing something though. He is so VERY happy and smiley and chatty when he leaves nursery though so I think he is happy there

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CurlsLDN · 11/09/2015 12:21

My ds wakes screaming in the night when he's over tired (even though you think he'd sleep better!) could you try putting him to bed at eg 8pm to see if it helps?

CultureSucksDownWords · 11/09/2015 13:07

What time did he used to wake up in the mornings when he was going to bed at 10pm? Is he napping well at nursery too?

Georgethesecond · 11/09/2015 13:11

10pm???? Try 7pm (latest) for a while - he sounds overtired to me. And maybe teeth too.

Thebirdsneedseeds · 11/09/2015 13:14

My first guess was tired. Earlier bedtime - 7.30pm?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 11/09/2015 13:16

Definitely sounds like tiredness. DD always wakes in the night screaming when she's gone to bed exhausted. Teething is probably playing a part too.

MintSource · 11/09/2015 13:32

Sounds like tiredness but also I get the impression at this age that they don't want to go to bed in case they miss something, however tired they are.

Baby Mint is one and goes straight into the bath after nursery then PJs, 4-8oz milk, teeth, cuddle and sleep by 6.30 almost without fail.

Original poster

PipersOrange · 11/09/2015 15:50

It wasn't for lack of trying that he was up at 10pm still, I literally Couldn't get a bedtime routine to work. I was studying when he was younger and routine was very low down on my list and I just couldn't get it to work once I'd finished. I would do dinner bath story and a bottle in bed and he'd just finish the bottle then stand up and cry till I got him out, then would play happily for a either 2/3 hours until falling asleep on the bed when me and my OH went to bed. He wakes the same time as when he went to bed at 10pm - he's up at 6am most mornings, sometimes a bit earlier but never before 5am.

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Thebirdsneedseeds · 13/09/2015 06:30

Infants seem to have a set get up time regardless of bed time so work backwards to ensure lo's getting enough sleep. Up at 6 so maybe aI'm for 7/8pm bed. A routine can take up your time in the evening but is totally worth it. And it will take at least a week for your LO to adjust to change in routine (ie not getting to play into the night and snooze on your bed)

Maybe dinner, bath, stories on your bed until he drops off. Keeping LO in darkened room reinforcing that it's time to sleep.

But ultimately it's up to you, if your current pattern works then don't change it. LO might be more tired now nursery started so be more receptive to earlier bed.

Hezaire · 13/09/2015 20:29

Sounds normal to me. My oldest has been going to nursery a year and a half now. He's 2. Doesn't nap there so I think it's exhaustion. My youngest who is one is similar.
My advice is have some quick dinners prepared for nursery nights. And to bed early!

Hezaire · 13/09/2015 20:31

And I agree with that above comment about get up time. Mine are up just a before six regardless of if they've gone to bed at 5.30 pm or 8 pm.

Littlefish · 13/09/2015 20:32

Is he sleeping at Nursery?

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