Children / Teens Swearing

[EmilySmith1988]

What would you do if you caught your child / teenager swearing?

I'm interested because my daughter has recently started.

How old and what context?

My daughter is 10 and she is mainly using the F word and also one I hate the C word.

Assuming you mean preteen age by child, rather than little kids? Dd is 11, we've discussed how used as every other word it's unpleasant and shows a lack of vocabulary, and that any moron can say 'fuck off ' but wit is more effective. I've not told her not to swear, just that there is a time and a place and at her age it's too easy to get into the habit of using it regularly or for the wrong reasons or wrong time and place, so I'd rather she didn't. She has told me the rare time she's sworn and done it once or twice in my presence, everytime I have to agree she used it in a correct and adult way for extreme situations.
We have always talked about language and contrary to any standard parenting guide once she was past preschool age I've never sheltered her from the fact adults do swear in both bad and good ways and we've talked about it. So it's not an issue or a grown up aim for her.
Although she loves the unnecessary censoring of kids songs on YouTube, that does crack her up.

What context etc is your dd using it in?

She swears when she's not getting her own way, when she is around friends and sometimes she will just walk round the house saying random swear words for no reason.

marking my place - DD has recently started throwing the f word around with friends. Not around me although she was heard and I was told.

No swearing allowed by the children in this house, apparently I said they could swear when they turned 16, which dd1 did last week. She still hasn't done it.

In contrast I now swear in front of them and have done for about a year so the youngest would have been 11.

So what do you do when she swears? What's the consequence?

She gets put bed for the day and isnt allowed out her room and if we are out I just lock her in the car.

Very different to what dds done and not something I'd accept at all.
I think you need to actually discuss it with her, saying 'because I said so' tells her nothing, and makes it both grown up and a great way to wind you up. Explaining why constant swearing will just make her look silly should work. And if she does swear, then an appropriate punishment, eg too young to understand the swearing rules, too young to have any other grown up privileges for the day etc.

You lock your kid in the car or her room? Really?

Honestly, by the teens, I wouldn't be so much punishing a teen for swearing as encouraging them to know and respect their audience.

DS1 is 11 and hates swearing, but even on the rare occasions he does, (usually no more than " bloody") we discuss better ways to express the sentiment which would offend fewer people. Having to have a frank conversation with mum about such things is far more aversive than arbitrary punishments.

I suppose I have a range of small penalties (£1 off pocket money, apologies, sit on stairs, losing screen time). They aren't allowed to swear in front of me or little brothers, but I acknowledge that of course they may swear elsewhere, there's a time & a place & around me ain't either.