potty training, is my dd ready?

[Impala77]

My dd is 31 months, we started potty training 4 days ago.
1st 2 days she had many accidents in her pants so we have left her undressed from the waist down and left the potty on the floor.
By day 3 she goes to the potty herself and does a wee, she won't tell anyone she needs to go she just goes.
However she doesn't seem to know when she needs to poo, the 1st 2 days she poo'd in her pants and today she poo'd on the floor!! she looked completely shocked at what was happening!
Also I put her some pants on this moning but as she won't tell me when she needs to go she went on the potty but didn't take her pants down first!! (I was in the kitchen)
I've read sooo much stuff about potty training and it all says that kids learn to control their bowels first and that girls learn earlier than boys, neither of which seems true in my case.
I only have 1 dc and am feeling overwhelmed, we haven't been out for 4 days because I'm scared of her weeing or pooing in public, also im frightened to use pull ups as all the "experts" say they are the work of the devil and will make potty training take 3 times as long!!!
Please help, I just feel that this is going to take forever.

Keep going. I know it's hard but all four of mine were different ages between 20months and nearly 3. I also had one that wouldn't poo in the potty until she was 5! I used pull ups only when I went out and made sure I took them to the toilet regularly when out (not easy but you get to know where all the toilets are in the high street . She will get it all of a sudden. DS2 only took a week, by day 4 I thought he would never get it, by day 7 he was dry and has never had and accident. (28mo). Good luck and trust your instincts.

Potty training should not be stressful. If it is, the child isn't ready. Go back to nappies and try again in a month's time. Honestly. It should be easy.

I think she's doing well going to the potty by herself. we were definitely still putting her on it regularly at that point. my dd was dry before she was clean, I don't want to panic you but it was months before she grasped the need the poo!! we got there by keeping her biwels moving regularly, plenty of water fruit etc. then noting when her bowels opened, usually after lunch. then putting her on the potty at that time every day as a routine. a dvd helps.soon she pooed there every day and we celebrated and praised her massively. once it was the routine it was a simple transition to the loo. it sounds like she's doing well with wees. do not resort to pull ups and unless she's anxious and stressed about it don't stop now.

I disagree - I think it is a bit stressful actually. We just potty trained DS2 - same at roughly the same age and it took two weeks. After a few days I was at my wits end because he didn't seem to get it although he's very bright and i know he knew when he need to wee etc. I think in the end (it was around May) I just really let him walk around in pants and get on with it and he slowly got it. Obviously I asked every hour or so if he needed to sit on the potty. He just started to understand it and within two weeks was just taking himself off whenever he needed to. I think poos took about another six weeks to really master. He has an occasional accident but rarely and usually at nursery when he's distracted - never at home.
btw - friends at the time were saying "oh he's not ready - leave it" but I knew he was ready - just stubborn. I think the main thing is to do it when there's no other stress - so we did it at half term and I made sure I had no stressful work stuff to do as that always makes me a bit impatient.

"Obviously I asked every hour or so if he needed to sit on the potty."

But if you'd left it a while you wouldn't have had to do that. No two weeks of asking every hour and wet pants.

Thanks all for the comments.
We've put her back in nappies for now.
She goes to in laws on a Tuesday and they take her out and about, it's not fair expecting them to have her when she's liable to poo everywhere!!
She doesn't poo at the same time, and some days doesn't poo at all then maybe twice the next day.
How on earth can we go out anywhere if she cant/won't say when she needs to go?
Are people just housebound for weeks until it clicks?
I work part time and she goes to grandparents when I'm working, I just can't see how it's going to work without countless accidents and embarrassment.

DS potty trained himself in a day. Told me he wanted to say bye bye to his nappies and was basically dry after that. I think he's only ever had 5 accidents in his life and he has been potty trained for a year. But day 1-4 we were naked inside with v short trips on days 3,4. Then for the first fortnight both the CM and I prompted. So we would take him to the loo rather than wait for him to tell us. So pee before leaving the house, pee after we get somewhere and one pee every 2 hours. By the end of that fortnight he could tell us when he needed to pee.

For me there are four stages to this. First is bladder control. Then is being able to pee on demand. Then is knowing when the bladder is full. And letting someone else know you want to empty it. And finally is knowing when your bowels need emptying. I would take each step at a time. Of the 5 accidents over the last year, the first 2 were poo accidents. The poo does take a little more time to master.

Makes me wonder how any of us are "toilet" trained!
It doesn't help that my dh thinks that if he's not at work he must be out somewhere, he hates being in the house!!