Bit worried about how shy DD has become

[Helgathehairy]

DD will be 2 next month. She's always been the "sit back and take in what's happening" type. She'd never be the first to run into a situation. But she just seems to be getting more and more shy. She's fine with family but with strangers almost seems to "shut down". It's not strangers in general (she's happy to run around Tesco for example and takes no notice of people if they're not trying to talk to her)

There was a specific incident yesterday that has me worried. I was at my mums and had popped to the bathroom, leaving DD playing on the floor of the living room with mum. When I came back to the room, a neighbour had called by. She's met this man several times before but she was sitting on the floor, staring at the floor, not moving at all. She didn't even react when I came into the room. I picked her up on my lap and she still wouldn't even look up. After he left she was absolutely fine.

Is this a normal stage in toddlers?

I don't have advice but my DD is exactly the same, same age. She is due to start nursery in September and I don't know how she will cope.

Red - it's a worry isn't it. DD isn't going to pre-school until she's 3 but we're going to visit her uncle who lives in New York in October and i don't want her to be terrified of him!

DD is the same, but at nursery too. I'm taking it as a developmental stage.

Some children are watchers, they like to suss put the situation, and them make their move. As she was not expecting a visiter she was taken back. This will change in nursery when she feels at home.

Yes,it's completely normal for a 2 year old to become shyer,it passes though.She is becoming aware that she is 'separate' from you,and is learning to deal with the world independently.Her shyness is just a wariness.Don't worry about it,she sounds fine.

www.kamloopschildrenstherapy.org/social-emotional-toddler-milestones

My dd was just like this at that age. Now, at 3, she's still more of an observer, but has a quiet confidence. Try not to worry.

Glad in not alone? Any advice for how to get her settled into nursery? We went to look at one yesterday and she literally clung to me the entire time and was terrified of the staff, everything. I can see it being a living nightmare at drop off.

My dd attended nursery from when she was a baby, so it was never really unfamiliar to her, if that makes sense.

Two things which did help (slightly) in managing her response to unfamiliar situations when she was at her most shy, was firstly to talk her through what was going to happen, the fact that we expected her to greet even people she didn't know politely, etc etc; and also bribery. Bribery was the most powerful tool. I know it's not very admirable - but sometimes it seemed so important to get her to be polite and not just quake in terror - when meeting elderly relatives, for example!

I dunno - I sometimes felt it was a bit of an affectation in her case, (not wholly, but partly), so these might not work for a child who is genuinely terrified!