advice on boosting 7 year olds confidence

[xmasadsboohiss]

my DD is 7.5 and is happy and lively and doing well at school. she loves making new friends and is always excited to meet new children. but from the way she reacts to her younger sibling's rudeness and from a few things she's said about school i'm a bit worried that she doesn't stand up for herself very well - for instance she doesn't like her name being shortened but will never tell her classmates this because she doesn't want to upset them. also she says sorry all the time even when there's no need - asking her to not say makes her say it again!

she's gentle and quiet and i wouldn't want to change her lovely personality for the world but i don't want her to be a walkover either! she is also nervous about taking in part in activities where she doesn't know any of the adults or children involved. my instinct with this is to gently prod her in that direction.

any tips on how to increase her confidence would be great. thanks!

What activities does she do outside school, if any? I see you say she's nervous, but have you pushed her into any yet?

My DS1 is a bit of a "softy", regularly gets beaten up by his 2yo brother, allows other children to pretty much do what they want to him and he'll still be their friend etc. - I've sent him to tae kwon do to at least learn some defence techniques if anyone ever tries to actually beat him up. He's pretty confident in himself, in that he's been dancing since he was 3, and is happy on stage, and can talk in front of his class without nerves; but he still has that soft side that could cause him issues later. He also does soccer so he gets to be part of a team activity too.

I would really recommend you get her out of her shell into these activities - remind her that everyone is a stranger until you meet them and find out their name, then they're just potential friends. Most activities for little children will allow the parent to stay initially as well, although not all; but you could always say you'll wait outside in the car in case she needs you.

I think follow your instinct. Enrol her in dance classes or drama, they will definitely give her confidence. Perhaps something ran by the school where it will be familiar to her.

Thanks for your advice. She does Brownies and a drop in gymnastics class, but even though she love gymnastics she says she doesn't want to those classes anymore because she doesn't know anyone. Dance or drama are good ideas. She's confident on stage oddly enough and seems to be very popular is school. So it's not that she's shy exactly.

Does she have a school friend who might be interested in going with her? Not that it would necessarily work long-term, but it might get her over the initial hurdle of "not knowing anyone"