Dummies - advice needed!

[xmasstocking]

I sometimes use a dummy to help my 18-week old son to get to sleep - both for naps and at night. He never has the dummy any other time and he doesn't need it every nap or night - he can get himself to sleep - but other times he won't sleep without it.

My problem is that although he 'sleeps through' from 7pmish to 7amish he does wake up once or twice a night, usually about 5ish, and starts whinging and I have to put his dummy in otherwise he doesn't go back to sleep. Putting his dummy in works everytime (although it sometimes takes a couple of goes becasue he spits it out before he is fully asleep). At the moment, it is fine as he is in a crib at the bottom of our bed so I can just crawl to the bottom of our bed, put the dummy and go back to bed - however, thinking ahead, we want to move him to his own nursery asap but as it is at the moment, I will be going back and forwards across the landing 2 or 3 times a night which I don't really want to do.

Has anyone any advice, experience etc which could help me settle him without his dummy - problem is he settles instantly with it so hardly disturbs our sleep so it it definitely the easier option.

Sorry for the long post. TIA for any help.

anyone?

TBH I would be tempted to try and wean him off it. Could you try and introduce a comforter (cuddly toy) and then once that has been established remove the dummy. I know my friend's DS tends to wake at about 5 ish and she goes and turns him over and he nods back off.

I am not really qualified to give advice though - niether of mine had dummies and neither were sleeping anything like that well at 18 weeks.

xmasstocking - I have used a dummy for my little boy (now almost 11 months) since he was 2 weeks old - he only ever has it for naps and night time sleep. He sleeps 6.30pm - 6ish 90% of the time, he will very occasionally wake once for it during the night but is usually able to find it and pop it back in himself (which he has been able to do since about 5 months old) , if not I go in and find it for him and like your lo he settles instantly with his dummy and imo this is much easier than making him settle without it when he is used to having one. Also if he is sleeping 7pm - 5ish without waking up that is brilliant at this age and as he gets older stretches of sleep get longer anyway so he will probably sleep that little bit more to 6 or 7. BTW we have never had to rock, cuddle, drive our baby round the block etc to get him to sleep - so if it ain't broke..... hth

also - don't think that you are taking the easier option - truth is sucking is such a comfort for babies - I will let my lo have his dummy for sleep until he is old enough to understand about giving it up

Thanks for the advice - like you, first, we have never had to rock, cuddle etc DS to sleep and he has always been a good sleeper - he started sleeping through from about 1 month so I realise how lucky I have been - I suppose it does seem a bit selfish to complain about having to get up once a night to put his dummy in when there are parents who are getting up 3/4 times anight and stopping up because their lo won't settle.

I realise it will get easier once he can put the dummy in himself - had no idea what age this was but if yours did it at 5 months, not long to go!

don't think you are selfish to complain about getting up in the night . My approach was that I could never deprive him of his dummy when I gave it to him in the first place. Also - it has been a massive comfort to him when he has been teething or poorly etc

I think they all wake up at that age at that time of the morning unfortunately, dummy or not.

I would tend to go with bozza and see if you could wean him off the dummy. Also it might be a good idea to invest in black out blinds - may be causing him to wake up or check if the heating goes off at that time.

I can vouch for the black out curtains - have just realized on moving my son to his own room that he now sleeps much better. It was us that kept waking him up - or maybe kept going to him when really all he needed was to be left alone for a short while and he'd go back to sleep on his own!

sorry to hijack this thread - but i have a 10 day old baby and have just realized how happy a dummy can make him when i think he wants to suckle, not really feed (i.e. 5 mins after a feed!) but am feeling lots of guilt that a dummy may be a bad habit to get him into and hard to get him off. I guess i am looking for affirmation that dummies are OK - anyone want to reassure me or tell me all the bad things i don't know??!

Cheritongirl - I think a dummy is great for a sucky baby - mine was. Truth is a lot of people make you feel guilty for using one. If your baby is happy and so are you don't worry about it and don't worry about what other people think.

Cheriton girl - I have a 20 week old ds - we used a dummy for the first 10 - 11 weeks. I then weaned him off it for evening sleeps and he was fine after a week. Once he found his thumb at about 14 weeks, I took it away altogether. He went from not being able to get himself to sleep to basically telling me he was ready by sticking his thumb in and going off. I wouldn't say it was easy to begin with taking it off him and you might choose to let him have it longer. I would also say that I was less "scared" (if that's the right terminology) of his crying by the time he reached 3 months - he is my first baby and I was finding my feet and I felt more able to deal with it - the crying decreases a bit more and IME was easier to work out - so consoling him was slightly easier. He still has moments of "what on earth was all that about" but he's a baby and they all cry sometimes for no reason. Stick with the dummy for now whilst things are harder, it'll be a godsend and save your sanity too. You can then decide when and if you're both ready to give it up. Good luck !

Hi all vowed never to use a dummy when I was preggnant but dd wouldn't settle so introdeuced one a 4 weeks had weened her off when she was about 5 months but 2-3 days later the advice from SIDS ( sudden infant death group came out suggesting that once a child had been introduced to a dummy shouldn't be weaned before ayear old.

I couldn't cope with the anxiety so gave dd back her dummy she is now 15 months and still just has it for sleeps btw has helped console her during some horrific teething

She didn't start sleeping through untill she moved into her own room (13 months as we were living with my parents)

Good luck and HTH

just logged on for first time looking for advice but just wanted to say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH USING DUMMIES!!!! If you want to keep any sanity always do what feels best for you not everyone else!
Any tips or ideas for 3 yr old now refusing to do no 2s other than in his pants!!

xmasstocking don't worry, I did the same as you, naps/nights for dummies, otherwise no dummy, and found the nighttime search for the dummy, under the cot in the dark on hands and knees, barely awake... a pain but as you say quicker and easier than not having it. My DTs kept their until they were 2, just for sleeping and then I told them they were too old for it, bought them a pressie and new PJs and they put their own dummies in the bin... took them a bit longer to get to sleep that night but not a problem since and I can honestly say they have not suffered in any way by using a dummy but DH and I have certainly gained a few hours sleep

I don't think there is anything wrong with dummies, I just think that the longer they have them the more difficult it is to take them away and you don't know how it will go until you try.

Despite massive anti dummy lobbying from family, old people etc we gave rookiebaby a dummy because I think he needed it after moving from bf to formula feeding for the extra sucking. However due to increased pressure I stopped using it at about 8 weeks and was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was on him and us.

In xmasstockings case you are having to get up to put the dummy back in, if your DS could find his fingers instead then it might solve the problem but I think he is unlikely to find him whilst he is used to the dummy.

My hv, who is the best hv in the whole wide world ever, says that the latest research on dummies is that babies that get them early shoudl have them for at least the first yr. As he gets bigger it'll be easier for him to find it and put it back himself. I had dd1 with a dummy until 2.5 and it was wonderful for when she was poorly or upset as well as sleep - sucking on the dummy relieves pain. Dd2 had me for a dummy and I soooooooo wish she'd had a real one, believe me! Now I have baby ds on a dummy and it makes a huge difference.

Ds has had a dummy at night and naps in cot from about 2 wks, hes gone through phases of needing it or not. for a while he was thumb sucker but seems to have cut back on that since his teeth came through, I think hes been bitting himself by accident.
Agree that we gib=ve them thing so we need to keep finding it for them til they can doit them sleves or do with out.

I have very mixed feelings about dummies - I gave dd a dummy because she had reflux and it helped a great deal with the stomach acid but am now waking 3-10 a night to replace the damn thing. She's 8 months old and can normally put it in herself but not when sleepy...
If you do want to wean her off it without nights of crying try Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' - she has a technique where you give them the dummy until they are relaxed but not asleep then remove it and rub tummy, shhh etc to get them to sleep. If they start crying replace dummy and leave until they're relaxed etc - repeat until they fall asleep.

Have been too knackered to try this myself, however.

Nearlythree, any chance of finding out who did that research/where to find it?

I can ask her. She is very clued-up.

both my children used dummies and got rid of themeasily however friends daughter suckedher thumb and now at 5 still does. At least you can take the dummy away.

I actually packed dummies in hospital bag

I have heard - not from hv - that thumb-sucking can cause threadworms as the eggs can be under the thumb/fingernails, but whether this is true or not I have no idea.

Thanks for all your posts - I agree with Peridot that I prefer a dummy to a thumb becasue you can take them away.

I have heard about research that says that if a baby has a dummy, it can increase cot death if you take it away so I guess I should let him continue to have it - however, some nights (in fact most nights) he does go to sleep quite happily without it - it is just in the middle of the night he needs it - so not sure if this counts?

The thing I hate with dummies (and I apologise if I offend anyone) is when you see kids who are older, perfectly happy but with a dummy in their mouth - obviously not using it for sleeping - just comfort and that is what I didn't want with ds.

Rookie - funnily enough, both my mum and MIL expressed disappointment and kept moaning when we gave ds a dummy so I think it must have been frowned upon in their generation and they were encouraged to use their thumb.

Earlybird - lol at crawling on hands and knees under the cot - been there and done that. Have deliberately bought dumies with white bits on that you can see better in the dark!

You can avoid the dummy-all-the-time thing by only using it when ds is sleeping or in distress.

Can I join in ? I have a very content yet sucky 6week old dd. I gave her a dummy at around 2 weeks as she was wanting to feed ALL the time. Again disapproving looks from MIL when she came to see us this weekend so i said so the boys (DH has a brother)did n't have dummies then? God no she said they had them till they were 2 !