Dummies - advice needed!

[xmasstocking]

I sometimes use a dummy to help my 18-week old son to get to sleep - both for naps and at night. He never has the dummy any other time and he doesn't need it every nap or night - he can get himself to sleep - but other times he won't sleep without it.

My problem is that although he 'sleeps through' from 7pmish to 7amish he does wake up once or twice a night, usually about 5ish, and starts whinging and I have to put his dummy in otherwise he doesn't go back to sleep. Putting his dummy in works everytime (although it sometimes takes a couple of goes becasue he spits it out before he is fully asleep). At the moment, it is fine as he is in a crib at the bottom of our bed so I can just crawl to the bottom of our bed, put the dummy and go back to bed - however, thinking ahead, we want to move him to his own nursery asap but as it is at the moment, I will be going back and forwards across the landing 2 or 3 times a night which I don't really want to do.

Has anyone any advice, experience etc which could help me settle him without his dummy - problem is he settles instantly with it so hardly disturbs our sleep so it it definitely the easier option.

Sorry for the long post. TIA for any help.

Cruisemum1 - first I was worried about being a bad mum for giving a dummy, now am worried she won't take to it! The joys of motherhood eh?! But there is perhaps light at the end of the tunnel to hear of this big nightsleep - dd is only sleeping 2.5 hours max at one stretch through the night at this stage. How long does your ds sleep for after the feeding marathon?

lol.....my DH has banned me from playing the sisters of mercy or the mission to DD!! lol - have told him it's interesting to be different but at same time am making the most of girlie stuff while I can! I bet your lo's look fab having a mummy in fashion!!

Wow, The Sisters..hardly anyone has heard of them, fave band for years and years, Alice best song ever. Alas no longer in fashion, earn my crust teaching, very mundane.

Fizz/Jam - stop talking about all this 'pink' stuff - am - Dh won't let me dress DS in pink even though I am such a girly girl and almost everything I own is pink (inc mobile phone!).

I had to endure a lecture from some dental woman when I took DS for his 8 week check up - they were running late and, long story, DS had literally just had an operation for a condition which had caused him to lose 1lb in a week so his body was catching back up so he was an eating machine - anyway, he was really hungry but as I ff it is difficult to do it in a short space of time so I was going to wait unitl he got home so I was using the dummy to try and pacify him (unsuccessfully) - so had to endure this lecture about hos it stunts their language development, teeth, why I had chosen the cherry teat blah blah blah - the truth behind the cherry teats was that his nursery etc is all classic Winnie the Pooh and Mothercare sold WTP dummies so I had to buy them to match - what did I know or care about cherry teats etc as a 1st time mum - don't think she would have been too impressed if I had told her that!

Just reminded me about another funny dummy story - when I was buying some new dummies for DS, I said to my DH that they had to be cherry ones (cos those are the only ones he will have) and DH said 'we don't want to give him cherry-flavoured ones, he will get a sweet tooth'! I have never let him live that one down.

lol @ xmas! Like I said xmas people will always lecture you, I have learnt very quickly to nod, say realllllyyyyyyy, whilst all the time thinking "it's my baby and as long as I love her (which I do with a passion uncontested) nurture her and raise her be be a secure, confident and loving person, who give's a F**k if she had a cherry (my DD has cherry, stays in easier ) dummy for a few months
Fizz - so good to meet a fellow sisters fan (was not expecting that on MN!) and teaching is far more interesting than being an analyst for BT yawwwnnnnn and I thought I was going be a drummer in a band for a living

x mas - I'm a first time mum with DD - 10 weeks, how old is your lo?

Am off now girlies - nice chatting

Mellin - ds nods off around 8pm and bobs around for a suck every now and then till around 9 when he settles until around 5:30-6:00am. So to me, it is worth it! Does your lo do the suck-a-thon thing? Let me know how you get on with dummy.

What's wrong with cherry teats? (panic panic)Can't ever go there with orthodontic teats as they stay in mouth for about 1 second. At least with cherry teats there is something to hang onto.

As I said I had a dummy until 6 (cringe), and there were only cherry teats then, and I have very good set of gnashers with no orthodontic work.

As for not letting dd wear pink, put your foot down and tell him it is every girls right to wear pink, and if he deprives her now she will want pink to excess when older! What will he let her wear? (the mind boggles...)

Don't know what is wrong with cherry teats - just this silly woman telling me they were BAD and EVIL (alright, that was my interpretation of what she was saying) - she scared me that much that I went and bought some orthondontic ones which just fell out straight away! So back to cherry flavourd ones it was!

Jam - my lo is 19 weeks old and an absolute joy!

Fizz - think I must have confused you - my lo is a boy which is why DH won't let me buy pink clothes (you can get the odd item of boys clothing in pink). the best I have managed is a navy and pink striped rugby shirt - I think DH was ok with that as it was a rugby shirt!!

Xmas, sorry completely sleep deprived as you know. Humblest apologies. Get the drift now......

hi there,I thought I'd just add my little bit. Have 2 ds both have always had dummies (one didn't sleep,one whinges - a lot!. Father Christmas is going to take away all dummies this year and leave lots of presents. We have explained this to the 3 year old but the 17 month ds is just not going to understand - am I doing right taking them away from both of them????

terriblytired -It depends on whether or not your 3 yr old would be OK with lo having one a while longer. Maybe you could say that F.C. takes dummies when you get to be 3 years old because that is when you are a big boy. That way the 17 month old doesn't have to go without if you don't think he is ready. If you think that the 17 month old will be fine without then do it together. You will probably have a couple of restless nights but it will be done and dusted and I guess 3yr old will not be jealous/try to take lo's dummy from him.

Terribly - I echo what Cruise has said - will the 3 year old understand if the younger one gets to keep his? Must be v difficult though - will the older one be likely to pinch the younger ones etc? In which case it might be better to do it all in one go. Not much advice really but hope whatever you decide goes well.

Have to say, a friend did this. Older child then proceeded to steal babies dummy whenever possible...............

Sorry.. baby's

Just to let you all know - after chatting on this thread I am now offically jinxed........DD who usually goes to bed no problem decided that last night she couldn't possibly drop off without her dummy, so over an hour I had to go in numerous times and put it back....now not sure If it was the dummy thing (as she had her nap this morning and done her usual spitting it out just before she drops off) or just fussing???? anyone else had a lo that was going to sleep really well and then fussed a bit ( has happened a few nights recently???)DD is nearly 11 weeks

Ah. Yes. Fussing. I think that babies discover alot at about 10-11 weeks old - they have emotions, they can start to affect the environment around them, they realize that you respond to them and lots of other stuff. It does calm down - and of course you get more confident dealing with stuff (or at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of)!

Thanks Kate - makes me feel better knowing it's normal and should pass!!! little minx she is? did you have the same? how did you deal with it?

I'm a firm believer in dummies! Having, obviously, said when pregnant that I never would and tutted under my breath at those children I'd seen with them - I now think that they are the best thing ever! I've realized that fussing at bed time is often related to the fact that I think DS should stay up until 7 so that he sleeps through as much as possible - but I've realized that sometimes he's just getting over tired. I read 'What to expect when you're breastfeeding - and what to do when you can't' and have found that full of useful things (like the being over tired thing). Being a first time mum (which is what I am) it isn't always obvious what to do. If I ever did it again I wouldn't worry about half the stuff that I have! So I try to make bedtime obvious - feed, bath (if I have the strength), pyjamas, and up to bed. And not to be afraid to do it earlier than I think! And the other thing is - whatever fuss they are making, 9 times out of 10 it isn't your fault! They might be exercising new noises they can make, new effects that they can trigger from you. The other thing I learnt - they can get bored (mobiles seem to be the one blessed thing that never bores him) and they can get over stimulated (all that desperation on my part to be the perfect mum!).

Actually, speaking of 'fussing'. If anyone has any handy tips for a baby that's always fed fine and then suddenly (a couple of days ago) has decided to scream for 5 minutes as I try to feed him - they would be gratefully received. It doesn't seem to be wind and he isn't ill with anything. Just seems to have got this nasty habit of screaming, turning purple, and kicking. Grr. Off now to try and feed again....

Kate that is so weird - I actually posted a thread about this recently - not sure if you are breast or bottle but my DD is bottle - She was on aptimal and all was fine - then she started taking less and less milk and then started crying and arching her back when I tried to feed her, just taking a mouthful then crying I spoke to HV (I had been saying for 2 weeks that all wasn't well with her feeds and should I change her milk?) and told her I was going to change milk to cow and gate 'comfort' and she agreed. STRAIGHT away DD took a full bottle and has done ever since....not sure if this helps (i'm a first time mum too )

Oooh. that is interesting. I'm using hipp organic at the moment and I was wondering if a change would work. Will definitely give it a go. Very many thanks for the suggestion. First time mum is hard isn't it? I seem to spend all my time worrying about everything!

Me too, how old is your lo? - the comfort is a few pennies more but is purely for digestive issues - I didn't want to change milk but had heard such good stories about It. HV didn't want me to change at first saying that aptimal was so close to breast milk (i breast fed for a few days only) but my opinion is it could be the best milk in the world but if it doesn't agree with DD then so what??? DD is now even more content during the day. Good luck x

Dd has fussed all night for the past 3 nights. No reason that I can see, just being a pest. I of course am completely exhausted.
Had to resort to the medised last night (evil mother), but even managed to fuss through that.
Why oh why did I introduce dummy. Woke about 12 times last night with lost dummy.
Still do not have heart to remove it.