family therapy or child counselling - where do I start?

[stresssed]

I'm worried about my 9 year old ds's behaviour - he has always struggled with 'big emotions' and we've had years of shouting and aggression within the home, but just recently we've had the first instances of him behaving aggressively and rudely outside the home. It's affecting everyone's health and stress levels. I'm going through other stressful things at the moment and feel I need support in helping him as whatever we're doing doesn't seem to be enough.

I'm not sure whether he should have some sort of individual therapy, or all of us have family therapy? I tried looking at couple of websites but they all seem to specialise in different types of therapy CBT etc etc and I don't know what they all mean and what would be best for him. We also are not well off and I'm very worried about the cost, but if we go through the GP, am reluctant to have this on his medical notes forever, plus I believe there are really long waits for counselling unless he's actually putting himself or someone else in imminent danger. (And maybe even then...) Is that the case?

So if I want to access therapy, where do I start? Individual therapists? Organisations? What type of therapy is best - how do they differ? How much do these things cost?

Help - just no idea where to start.

Thank you.

Look on the BACP website for help and information. Does the school have a counsellor (not an ELSA)? Counsellors will sometimes be able to negotiate payment depending on your circumstances.

CBT means Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. This explained on the BACP website.

am reluctant to have this on his medical notes forever,

What do you think will happen if this is on his notes?

Needing counselling is part of a child's medical history and it isn't a great idea to try to hide it from the GP.

I do understand your emotion about this because I went through similar when my DD1 was first referred to CAMHS but I got over it very quickly and you need to do the same. Needing any sort of mental health intervention is nothing to be ashamed of.

The help your DS needs may not be counselling or CBT. He needs to be properly assessed to ascertain the reasons behind his behaviour, then, if counselling or CBT are appropriate, they can be offered and be properly targeted.

Yes, the waiting lists are long so I can understand you wanting help sooner rather than later but I would see the GP and get his name on the list now, even if you intend to pay for a stopgap before the first appointment comes through.

Although I would strongly suggest that you ignore the post by pause4thought who is posting an advertisement on most posts in behaviour and development and who has been reported.

Personally I would see if you can get a recommendation as to a local organisation if you are going to go private. I think we were quoted a price around £400 for private asd assessment. But we did not go down that route as the CAMHS appointment we had been waiting for came through. And it will vary a bit between organisations