Arrogant DSD (6yo)...

[StepMum87]

My DSD is driving me and DP mad and it's only day one of the summer holidays. In the past we have tried to be subtle about her lack of modesty but she's seems impervious to any criticism.

Last night she was told off for being argumentative and ungrateful. Then was outraged that she had lost out on the chance to stay up later, when reminded that we had already pulled her up on her behaviour and attitude she told us that wasn't good enough for a final warning.

To top it all off she then came looking for praise on how good she had been.

All we ever hear is how good she is at this and that she's the best at that.

Please tell me what to do with a child that can't comprehend that she is wrong or even humanly fallible.

these are very normal traits in a 6 year old. Calling her "arrogant" smacks of distaste on your part...I wouldn't call any 6 year old arrogant. They're extremely ego driven and often come out with outlandish self praise.

My DD is 7 and still does it. I'd say if she came seeking praise, that you probably need to be a bit nicer to her.

this article talks more about it.

Thanks I've never seen that before.

She is praised when her behaviour warrants it. But she has a tendency to want praise for not having miss behaved.

She is 6...

As above.

I think you are probably being a little bit too harsh on her.

Being 6 is pretty tough. They often go through phases of being argumentative, if not quite obnoxious. They also talk about themselves as if they were god's gift to mankind.

They are trying to form their self image, and if you constantly knock them back they will become very insecure adults.

Praising them for not misbehaving is good, even if they were the devil incarnate for 90% of the day but have now been good for an hour it is good to praise them for that - reinforcing the good is a necessary part of encouraging good behaviour.

I don't think there is a 6yo on the planet that can comprehend (or at least accept) that they are wrong or even humanly fallible.

It's a phase, and a normal and healthy one at that.

Perhaps redirect her. When she comes and says, "I'm great at x". Can you say, "how do you feel when you do x?", "does x make you happy?" "you sound like you enjoy x". The idea is to encourage kids to seek internal gratification and to understand how to look for satisfaction in themselves. When she is enjoying something that she is not great at, that is a good time to encourage.

There is a side effect to all the 'you're awesome' and high-fiving that we do to children. Of course they turn into little praise-junkies.

It's sad that you clearly hate your six year old step daughter so much. There iare six weeks for the summer holiday to go.

It's quite normal for six year olds to lack modesty. Most young children constantly want attention. It is wearing for adults around them. Children have a short memory and punishments really need to be close to the event. Not allowing a child to stay up late because they were a best in the morning really is not effective.

My daughter is convinced that she is a top gymnast. I have no intention of breaking her bubble that she will never make the the 2024 Olympics.

That's a really good idea. Thanks. I like the idea of emphasising what she gains from something without it being about ability.

I understand how you feel OP, because when my niece was this age (and my own DC were much younger) I used to think she was a bit of a show off. But now I realise that, as other posters have said, it's completely normal for this age.