Parents of bum shuffling 9th centile babies please help!!

[fionnthedog]

I am blessed with a beautiful DS aged 14 months. He's always been small and tracked 9th centile since approx 4 weeks old. He's also a bum shuffled and not yet properly able to pull to stand. He does cruise if placed up at the sofa, and walks holding two hands. I'm not really concerned about his development as my HV isn't but I'm finding comments at baby groups increasingly stressful and just wanted some moral support.

A couple of examples from the last fortnight:

"He's so small and not walking; I thought he was only about 9 months old"

"Have you tried getting down on the floor and crawling to show him how to?"

Am I missing something? Should I be concerned? I'm figuring he's concentrating on other things (e.g has just learnt how to unscrew a bottle top, take off his nappy and take the lid on and off a pen) plus has ten clear words.

People can, unintentionally, be so harsh!!

I don't think there is anything wrong - it sounds like he is doing great. Bum shufflers are often non crawlers and very late walkers so you may need to develop either a thick skin or some good responses to those sort of comments. Level of mobility is somehow much more obvious than other skills he may have.
I feel your pain, though. My 13m old DD is off the charts small and months behind in her development after a serious illness and I have those comments all the time. Most people are just making conversation, though there are always those who think their PFB's amazing achievements are because of their wonderful parenting, rather than because all babies are individuals and do things in their own time.

Did you see this thread?

Hi. My 3 boys weren't particularly small but 2 of them were bum shufflers and never crawled. I think children tend to be either crawlers or bum shufflers so I wouldn't expect him to crawl. Ds1 bum shuffled and walked at 12 mnths, ds2 crawled and walked at 16 mnths and ds3 bum shuffled and walked at 19 mnths but when he started he was walking like he had been doing it for months. Your son sounds perfectly fine.

Dd just got up and walked at 14 months - just as I was starting to wonder if she ever would. So one day you think they never will then - boom.

About being small. She is about 8th centile and at the end of the day some one has to be.

I think it's different for girls, not better but different. Lots of 'compliments' "she's like a doll" etc. I let it wash over me now. I was previously a little in denial at how tiny she is.

But I suppose at 3 she has lots more ways to show her age and development, they become so much more rounded and sophisticated that who walked at 9 months and who at 16 is forgotten.

I realise I've gone off on a tangent here.....

No, I wouldn't be concerned. DS bum-shuffled until he was 22 months old. HV at the time said in her experience bum-shufflers took longer to walk than crawlers/rollers as they had less need to do so - they can move fast and have one hand free to carry stuff.

Ignore the silly percentiles. I wish I had. As long as they grow on a smooth line in 'their' proportion, worry not. One of mine has always been on the 10th percentile. Honestly, it's not a race to get to the highest percentile. And your baby will walk, please don't worry

I don't have particular experience of this specifically but just want to say try not to worry what people say; they are just looking for something to say. My dd is the opposite- very big for her age and walked very early so of course all o hear is 'isn't she big I thought she was much older'. Just nod and agree- your baby sounds completely normal

People make stupid comments.

My DD1 and DD3 were tiny but walked early...you would have thought that they were gold medallists at the olympics the comments they had. My friend had twins..boy mobile early, girl bottom shuffled and was much larger...didn't walk until 26 months (late even for a shuffler) you should have heard the comments!

I think you could make yourself feel better by having a sharp riposte..along the lines of "but have you seen his....skills". More to remind yourself than show them that he is a fantastic, normal little boy.

Perhaps they go home and kick themselves for making "personal comments"but somehow I doubt it

I can't help with the walking but DD has been around the 9th centile from birth onwards. She is healthy, energetic, bright and rather good at gymnastics! Hidden bright side she doesn't grow out of clothes too fast
I think DS walked at 16 months and is now fine.
If the professionals aren't worried ignore the idiots, this too shall pass.

I've always thought bum shuffling is a really sensible way for babies to get around; they can carry things and move very fast. No wonder they walk a bit later.

Fwiw my dd is almost 15 months. She sat up well before 5 months, crawled at 6, pulled up and cruised at 8. So naturally I got lots of comments about preparing for an early walker. She finally let go of the furniture and took her first steps about 10 days ago and is now walking well 50% of the time and crawling the rest. I think she saw no interest in walking earlier as she is like lightening on her hands and knees, and had got in habit of dragging bags/shoefuls of toys with her! She has nothing like 10words either. She dropped from 75th to just below 25th centile between 6 and 12 months and is now tracking that new line. So I've got a lot of use from her 9-12 month clothes!

My DD was 0.5th centile from birth and worse than bum shuffling she did a very odd 'crab crawl' like bum shuffling with one leg dragging behind. She also had no hair so she did look very young. People regularly thought there was something wrong.

She never did crawl properly. In a way although it looked odd it was a good way of moving as it was quite fast and you could hold stuff in your hands whilst doing it. She was quite happy to sit playing with things within her reach for long periods. I used to wish she would move more but now I think I was mad and that I should have appreciated the sitting still more! I think she was 15 months when she started to walk so likely it won't be much longer for your DS.

On the other hand she was a very good talker so I took pleasure in her surprising the people looking on pityingly at the tiny, oddly shuffling baby by suddenly coming out with a sentence.

She is 8 now and she's average height although still very skinny. People do stop bothering about weight after a while. I'd have to say that she is not as good at physical stuff as DS (who walked at 9 months with very little preamble - now that was a nightmare, definitely be careful what you wish for) but she is excellent at reading, writing and drawing which may be more important skills for life.

Try to ignore other people's comments. I used to get upset at the time but with the distance of years it wasn't worth worrying at all. Crawling is a bit overrated as a skill

Oo this makes me all clenchy! I had constant battles with the box-ticking, averages-obsessed HV (averages only exist because there are people above and below!) Twins, one 50th, one 25th, neither moved at all really till about 12 months, one crawled, one bottom shuffled, neither walked till a week after their 2nd birthday (no surprise, not walking meant other people would carry them places and get them things, result!) And when they did walk, they were really good at it. But the HV was all set to pack them off to hospital for testing (ignoring the fact, as twins, they'd had the hip test automatically when they were born). And muttered about managers when I repeatedly said I'd wait and see.

It's just like potty training. Most adults can a) walk and b) go to the loo. It happens when it happens. If there's something really seriously amiss that makes people unable to do a) or b), then their Mum will usually have noticed.

Unclench, and breathe...

Ignore them! My little girl is now 21 months and still in 9-12 month clothes so very small for her age. She bum shuffled till 18 months however I knew all along she was 'normal'. There's no need to worry

@fionnthedog My DS is similar and getting so many comments like this - doesn’t help that he’s been fussy with his food since recovering from being poorly/teething. Can I ask if your DS continue to follow the 9th centile line height wise? X