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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Arghhh I have another bolter.

19 replies

HumphreyCobbler · 01/07/2015 17:12

Went to the toddler group annual picnic today, it was in a lovely garden down a lane. Only one toddler repeatedly tried to escape down the lane, ignoring all the toys and fun in the garden.

Why are my dc always more likely to run off than other people's?

We are supposed to be going camping in august. It will be a nightmare.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iwantakitchen · 02/07/2015 12:17

How old?

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/07/2015 13:44

Aren't they all bolters? Reins are your friend. Looped through the back so they can't trip over them but you can grab them easily. DS nearly 4 has only recently outgrown this. DH apparently went to school in reins at 5 because he was a bolter! It must be genetic!

stareatthetvscreen · 02/07/2015 13:51

don't sell your buggy just yet :)

my dd went to school in hers - long walk and end of august birthday ....

Valsoldknickers · 02/07/2015 13:56

I can empathise and sympathise! It can be exhausting!

Original poster

HumphreyCobbler · 02/07/2015 17:30

I am glad I am not alone! Reins are good but the problem is, when he wants to go he want to go! I have to stop him, and then he strops. It is just one cycle of run off, fetch back, five minute strop, repeat x 100.

No other toddler at the picnic even attempted to escape, it was only mine

He is 20 months.

OP posts:

Pipsqueak23 · 04/07/2015 21:27

Glad it's not just me. My DS does it all the time when we're out. I was down the beach with some other mummy friends yesterday and they were all able to sit and chill with their children (all around 20months give or take a month or two) who were quite happy playing in the sand nearby, occasionally getting up with them to bring them down to the water. My ds was off all over the place, only time he stopped was when I was having to change him from when he fell over in the water, even then he tried to run of starkers

RandomMess · 04/07/2015 21:30

Not been there but OMG you have my sympathies!!! Must be such hard work

SophieJenkins · 04/07/2015 21:33

Mine is 2 and a half, and is worse than ever and the others put together.

He can even open the front door now and just takes off.

Luckily I had the foresight to move to a very unbusy street but still - it is terrifying and exhausting. He is just totally unafraid - straight into the road, all the way along the pavement, it's awful.

Makes me want to tie him to me permanently. He gets awfully sad when he is restrained though

Bobian123 · 04/07/2015 21:39

Another one here with a 20 month old who likes to run off! So glad I've seen this thread as only today I was saying to DH that I don't know other toddlers who do this. I also feel like all the others are happy and content with toys but mine just wants to be chased .

Nice to know I'm not alone! Going to try reins soon as it really worries me near roads.

Original poster

HumphreyCobbler · 04/07/2015 22:35

I think we all deserve a massive glass of wine for getting through the day! My older ds used to run away shouting "Run off! Run off!"

I spent all day at sportsday just trailing ds2 around on the reins, a few tantrums when I wouldn't let him climb the podium/steal the bean bags/invade the running track, but otherwise as long as I let him go exactly where he wanted to, all was fine .

I have decided to try to be relaxed about it and just not expect to be able to chat to my friends or sit down when outside with him. At least our garden is reliably fenced off.

OP posts:

stareatthetvscreen · 04/07/2015 22:42

dd has

got herself locked in the loo at burger king and had to be rescued by a member of staff (who then gave her a chocolate muffin)
got lost in littlewoods store
rang 999 and didn't replace the receiver so the police came to investigate
ran to the clown on stage performing at the office childrens party

sigh :)

Original poster

HumphreyCobbler · 04/07/2015 22:57

fair play stare, she sounds lively!

My Dsis has nicknamed ds2 Captain Stealthy as he moves so fast without making a sound.

OP posts:

OhMittens · 04/07/2015 23:10

It's a personality thing, he's probably curious and bright and it will be of enormous benefit to him when he's older, but it's you who has to bear the brunt of it now!

You can't change him. You can develop tricks to distract him so you at least can spend a few minutes chatting/sitting, instead of getting up and running around every second, but it's just how he rolls. Can I give you some advice? Don't moan about it to people except your DH and maybe your mum (or whoever). It makes people think that if you are fed up with it, he is somehow being naughty or acting wrongly.

When you're out and about, you won't be able to completely stop him from doing this, so try to look like you are thoroughly enjoying helping him see and do and people will think he's amazingly adventurous and bright, instead of a nightmare. If you give the impression you find it a nuisance people will (and do) form that opinion of him in their minds and it's kind of not fair.

If people comment, say "I love that he keeps me on my toes!" or similar realistic but positive comment. Try not to justify any (if any) negativity including your own.

However, moan away to DH (or here!!) I feel your pain. I've been there (I am there). But three DCs on, I realise if you can't beat them, join them, so if you have to be doing it, get stuck in and make it look amazing.

ExtremelyStubbornAndSuspicious · 04/07/2015 23:36

I thought they were all like this at this age My 18 month old certainly is.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 04/07/2015 23:48

Ds is 20 months and is just the same. His sisters sports day was hell on earth. Everyone else's toddler was well behaved while mine explored the school grounds at great speed. He was then devastated when I wouldn't let him join in the races.

Ever since he could walk every shout of no or stop just makes him run faster.

Got a lot of respect for you ohmittens for remaining positive and upbeat in public.

indieblack · 05/07/2015 00:09

Count me in. DS is just 2 and a total bolter. DH and I regularly marvel at toddlers his age who walk calmly next to their pushchairs. No chance here.

He'll sometimes stop to pick up gravel or bark clippings but mostly he's haring off here there and everywhere or current fave running towards someone's picnic shouting "Mummy say no"

He is funny, fiercely bright and lots of fun but exhausting.

Ijustworemytrenchcoat · 05/07/2015 00:16

Aww my son is like this, at toddler groups it's like he doesn't even see the toys, he's just busy trying the doors.

He only gets his freedom on the beach or in the park/off road as I just can't trust him around roads. My nerves are shredded with him.

What makes it worse though is he has now started to 'join' other people. I am obviously not interesting enough for him as if he sees a group he likes the look of he just tags along.

brusselsproutwarning · 07/07/2015 13:27

I've had and still have 2 out of 3 bolters. My youngest is 3 and is just starting to stop running off. I've had to be really strict and tell her that if she runs away its back into the buggy. And stick to the consequences. Ignore the shouts and screams from dc and looks from other people. She runs away much less now but still makes a dash for itsometimes.

Taleggio · 07/07/2015 17:47

DS is a 3.5y nearly reformed bolted. He was just like all of that. It's only now looking back I can see how crazy it was and that he had calmed down.

Not completely calm obviously. Ran out of a shop today without me, absolute favourite game is still chase...

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