dt just watched me collapse and laughed

[mindexplode]

I have DT age 5. one of them was being told off for messing around at the dinner table and was taken upstairs by me. I then collapsed (pre existing condition) and DT found it hilarious, poked me for a bit laughing and then ran downstairs to tell his DT before thankfully dh heard them and came to help me

am I expecting too much for DT to care I have collapsed and to get dh rather then laughing and using it as an excuse to run away?

Have you explained your condition and told your DT what to do when it happens? My 4 year old would think it was a game unless it had been explained fully previously.

they know I fall over and to get dh as I need to lay still for a bit

problem is DT hasn't got a lot of emotional maturity yet so I don't know if he was laughing because he thought it was a game or because he was worried and trying to cover it

dh is going to speak to him now we have all calmed down

He was probably worried but, rather than trying to cover it, had no idea of the appropriate emotional response. Laughter is a common way of responding when we are fearful and a five year old in that situation is unlikely to respond in any conscious or calculated way. What you saw was an instinctive reaction to a situation in which he didn't know how to cope.

He may have been told how to respond but I don't imagine you've ever told him how to respond if you collapse in the middle of telling him off when he's possibly feeling angry and upset and also doesn't know if he's allowed to go away and get help.

He's still small...small enough that this behaviour isn't worrying. Sounds tough though OP

This isn't necessarily a bad thing actually. Your son doesn't see your collapsing as something dreadful that threatens his security and should frighten him. He just sees it as something you do and then go about your business. At this age, how can he be expected to distinguish this from slapstick humour? As a partially disabled parent myself, I can agree that this would make me feel crap but I also don't like it when my three year old dd gets anxious about whether I'm OK. I'd rather that she didn't see my limitations in terms of health and sickness, but just a fact of life.