Refusal to tidy up

[Jmoo1528]

Please can you help? My 2 daughters aged 6 and 4 will not tidy up without a major tantrum. We have tried making it a game, shouting, reward charts, just ignoring it, confiscating toys,discussing why we would like them to do it and doing it with them. My husband and I are at the end of our tether. We think that they are old enough to accept some responsibility for looking after their things. Where are we going wrong?

What is it that they refuse to tidy up? If it's their toys, I would say ask them, if they refuse put all toys in a basket and on top of the fridge for a week. If it's their clothes, you could do the same especially if it's their favourite clothes.

Or (softer approach, might not work) I always promise something nice if they tidy up - a bit of telly, play on computer, an ice cream, whatever works for them.

I have done the toy thing with my two DSs and it did work. All their Lego went on the fridge for one week and they learned their lessons. They still huff and roll their eyes when I ask them to tidy up but I remind them of the Lego incident and they get on with it.

'mummy I want x'
'Ok, we can do that once your Y is tidied up'.

Apart from the basics - food, toilet, washing - any 'next' treats/activities only get given once the things they were doing are completely finished which includes tidying up.