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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

When to use naughty step/time out?

13 replies

Kel2013 · 27/05/2015 16:20

DS will be 2 in a few weeks time and has started to be disobedient when asked to do stuff (pick up his toys when asked, told to not touch thing's etc) He just says no and point blank refuses to follow my command. Just wondering if this type of behaviour justifys being put on the naughty step as im fed up asking him to do the same thing over and over again.

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IpsyUpsyDaisyDo · 27/05/2015 16:29

I think 2 is still too little to be sent to a naughty step, he's too young to know what 'naughty' is, he's developing and at the stage of pushing boundaries (it's not called the Terrible Twos for nothing!). It's boring and repetitive, but keep setting those boundaries, be consistent, and he'll learn.

trilbydoll · 27/05/2015 16:36

DD is just turned 2, and I know someone who does use the naughty step but I can't see it working. I'd have to physically put her on it, and I don't think she would understand what I was trying to achieve.

For doing things she shouldn't, I take them away, which is a bit easier for her to see the link.

Original poster

Kel2013 · 27/05/2015 20:38

Thanks for the replys. Maybe hold off on the naughty step for now then. Do I just give in then and tidy his toys etc for him instead of asking him to do it about 20 times a day.

OP posts:

caravanista13 · 27/05/2015 20:40

Can you make a game of it? Have a race, see who can put most away etc?

WeAllHaveWings · 27/05/2015 20:54

As pp saw make a game of tidying up,if he's not interested everytime dont worry about it yet.

If he is not to touch something tell him and move it or him away and then distract.

Original poster

Kel2013 · 27/05/2015 22:48

Will try these tips from tomorrow, thanks :-)

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LittleLionMansMummy · 28/05/2015 08:34

Touching things is something we've always struggled with with ds who is now 4. He's very much a hands on learner so we've finally realised that rather than telling him not to touch (unless it's dangerous of course, in which case we've always explained why he mustn't touch) we tell him what he can touch. At that age it's not naughtiness, it's exploring the world so I'd be reluctant to use the naughty step (we call it time out). We waited until ds was a little older and reserved it for his worst behaviour (physical aggression). Now he's a bit older we tell him to go to his room to calm down and come out when he feels better (I don't agree with sending dc to their bedrooms for punishment as it should be a safe haven for them). We have also used the playful method to get him to do things - he's very competitive so we use lots of races.

PolterGoose · 28/05/2015 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleLionMansMummy · 28/05/2015 08:37

Just to add, ds knows he has a reputation for 'fiddling' so has begun asking for something to fiddle with while he's doing something he sees as a chore. Like sitting on the loo

fortunately · 28/05/2015 08:43

I wouldn't start the naughty step so soon.

DS is 2.5 and no way would be stay on a step, he'd also be absolutely devastated at the thought of it.

If he won't do something, I count down from 3, and if I get to zero I either do it myself and make him help me (eg putting something away) or physically make him do it (eg if I want to him to come I pick him up and carry him).

If he's hitting, or pushing, he gets stopped and forcefully told no, if he continues he is removed from temptation.

If he is tantrumming or being tired and horrid he gets put into bed/down for a nap.

We haven't needed to do any more than this so far.

Millionprammiles · 28/05/2015 08:51

We did 'thinking time' from around 2 (as did dd's nursery) but only for hitting/biting. Dd was taken aside, away from other children or to her room, explained why what she did was wrong/encouraged empathy etc.

It worked really well. She did seem to understand and the biting/hitting stopped within 3-4 weeks.

It depends on the child but dd at 2 did understand if something wasn't a toy or wasn't safe or was dirty.
At 3 its worse in some ways as now dd tries to talk her way round it or uses a tactical need to wee...

Original poster

Kel2013 · 28/05/2015 19:47

Very thankful for everyones advice. Have managed to get him to tidy up his toys tonight by turning it in to game. So far so good. Altough im sure he is try to push me as he ia beginning to do things he knows hes not ment to and smiling while doing it. Are the terrible two's that bad?

OP posts:

fortunately · 28/05/2015 19:51

Oh yes . Smiling whilst looking straight at you and doing something naughty.

I leave the room and pretend I haven't noticed...

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