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Original poster

how to stop the fucking crying!!!!

106 replies

RavioliOnToast · 25/05/2015 17:21

I'm literally at my wits end. I'm going to lose the plot. My DD2 is 14 weeks and never fucking shuts up. I literally am not coping. I've just made cupcakes with DD1 and she screamed and screamed and screamed. I can't cope. I really wanted to hurt myself and scream and cry in sheer exasperation. I can't cope anymore. I feel like I hate my life and wished I had stopped at Dd1.

I know, very deep down that I love this little beautiful baby so so much and would never ever hurt any of them, I justfeel on the bottom, and genuinely feel like I'm not coping with life. I can't enjoy dd1 at all anymore cause DD2 is so much of a handful.

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OliveCane · 25/05/2015 23:44

If she had cmpa and/or silent reflux, the sling/swing etc won't make the difference, you need medication and/or specialist formula.

MadgeMak · 25/05/2015 23:56

I understand that keeping baby upright for a while after feeds helps alleviate the symptoms of reflux so whilst yes, you definitely need to look into getting the right medications, using a sling will help in the meantime. And some babies just settle better when slinged anyway regardless of whether there are any underlying medical issues so I'd say it was worth a shot regardless.

BabyGanoush · 26/05/2015 00:25

it's up to the doc to do the diagnosis.

Just tell him the symptoms and don't hold back

don't worry if you cry, that conveys how bad it is.

BabyGanoush · 26/05/2015 00:26

I say 'him' for doc, but obviously it could be a 'her'

I must be secretly sexist!!! damn!

Ratbagcatbag · 26/05/2015 07:03

Whilst I agree about the doc doing the diagnosis, mine were surprisingly ineffectual diagnosing reflux. I went in saying I believed it was due to a,b,c etc and I believe the meds that can help are ranitidine or omeprazole. Do you agree/disagree?

Roonerspism · 26/05/2015 08:07

Just a quick one and haven't read the thread....

Do consider reflux and cows milk protein intolerance. This was my baby a few months ago (and still is to an extent although things have improved)

Find a decent GP and be prepared to push. Old school GPs will deny it even exists. You might have to wait a long time for a referral. Many doctors will tell you CMPI doesn't exist but when you get a baby with it you realise it absolutely does. And they do outgrow it!

My third child was exactly as you describe. She has silent reflux and an intolerance to cows milk protein (which isn't lactose), wheat, raw tomato and onions. It's been a long and hard road.

You will get there - it will get better.

There is a good Facebook reflux group for support.

My baby's is under control with ranitidine. Gaviscon didn't help us. Also something called slippery elm and Colic Calm. I am dairy and wheat free in my diet and breastfeeding.

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 26/05/2015 09:47

thanks Rooner we have a Dr's appt this afternoon at half 3. Not sure what doctor were seeing but I'm.sitting writing down all her symptoms as we speak. I hope they can help, or at least refer us. a half decent sleep last night has sorted me out today, I feel more rational. I've never ever felt as bad as I did yesterday. Thanks for the kind words everyone, sling has been dispatched, and I'll post back.with what the dr says later

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IknowIknowIknow · 26/05/2015 11:51

Many sympathies - a crying baby is absolutely exhausting. That's great that you've got a sling on order - I found the baby bjorn not that comfortable and definitely preferred a wrap sling (I had a Moby wrap which I loved). I used it around the house for both my DDs. I promise you you aren't spoiling her / creating bad habits by using a sling - babies sometime cry because they want to be held all the time, and at 14 weeks that's totally natural, and it's ok to give them what they want. Both of mine are very much out of the sling now!!

Do google attachment parenting, which explains how responding to your baby actually fosters greater independence later on, because they feel and secure with you. But I appreciate it's absolutely exhausting and frustrating while you are going through this period.

Hope the doctor is helpful this afternoon too.

Crazyqueenofthecatladies · 26/05/2015 12:50

Good luck for this afternoon. Do be prepared to be fobbed off :( you may well have to fight your corner and be prepared for 'all babies cry', colic lifts after 12 weeks, winding advice etc etc... About 40% of UK infants are likely to have issues with dairy and culturally and historically we've just ignored the problem - hence we have such high rates of ibs, food allergies and bowel cancer in adults :(. Old school gps are likely to not have even heard of cmpi, younger ones are likely to get it mixed up with lactose intolerance. Be ready to get shirty x x

Librarina · 26/05/2015 12:58

Hi

I'm glad that this thread has been a help, and you've had some really fab advice on here.

Just wanted to add that if your sling arrives and you are not sure how to use it, then a sling library/sling meet may be able to help.

It's just another tool in your armory.

Good luck!

ukslinglibraries.wordpress.com/find-a-sling-library-near-you/

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 26/05/2015 13:07

I am definitely going to fight my corner, I was so angry yesterday, not with baby, with myself for not knowing what was wrong, or how to deal with it. I was so overwhelmed, but when talking to.you lot gave a rational explanation of what it could be, I felt a lot calmer and in control and it made perfect sense that infact she isn't a misery, she must be poorly. I really thank you all for that. xxxx

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Sycamore76 · 26/05/2015 13:45

My nearly 12 week old dd was like this until I found out she had an intolerance to cows milk protein as well as silent reflux. Now she is like after different baby after I cut cows milk from my diet ( I am breast feeding ) and she has medicine for reflux . Now she sits in the bouncy chair and play mat for a good amount of time . I also use the baby bjorn for most of her naps and this makes my life easier as I can do more house work and play with my 3 year old. I would get her checked out . Hope things improves for you Flowers

Sycamore76 · 26/05/2015 13:55

I agree with crazy , we had to go private after a bad experience with our GP .

IknowIknowIknow · 26/05/2015 16:42

Does she cry and cry even when you pick her up? Could some of the crying just be that she wants to be held, and other times it might be some of the various other suggestions on this thread? Even at night a baby that small might just be crying because they want to sleep v near / on you.

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 26/05/2015 19:04

IKnow she cries even when being held, I know sometimes, thats what she wants, I don't doubt that, but when it's the painful screamy cry there's literally no consoling her.

docs today said that I'll have to try the gaviscon for a full week. I've booked appt fir next Tuesday, she said if no improvement she'll refer ne to paediatrician that day. But If we haven't tried gaviscon for a week they'll only trek me to do that first

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Lndnmummy · 26/05/2015 19:26

Havent read the entire thread but could she have reflux/cows milk protein allergy? My ds was like this, it was awful. I feel your pain

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 26/05/2015 20:35

Lndn that's what all the pp have said aswell so I think it must be. I mist admit I looked at the NICE guidelines for cows milk protein intolerance and she certainly fits the bill. poor thing.

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YankieDandle · 26/05/2015 21:59

I had the same with dd1 and hv was no help at all. I eventually switched to soya milk and gradually the crying did ease up

When my dd was screaming I found leaning her over the length of my arm in a flying position (horizontal) and walking around was really comforting for her. Also proper winding is key.

Don't be down on your self, there's nothing more stressful than a constant screaming baby. It will get better though Smile

DeladionInch · 26/05/2015 23:00

How are you doing, Ravioli?

Anotheronesoon · 26/05/2015 23:14

I agree with the sling idea- my firstborn screamed all the time- silent reflux and colic. Our ergo sling saved my sanity ( he crawled at 6 months walked at 11 months) 18 months later when the next one came along I went straight for slings - ring slings, wraps a pod and a Tula! It's lovely carrying baby and addictive - good luck!

AndThisIsTrue · 27/05/2015 06:05

Definitely sounds like reflux and cmpi. If they refer you to a paediatrician ask if they can give you ranitidine while you wait for the appointment. Also join the reflux/silent reflux group on fb they are very friendly and helpful!

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 27/05/2015 08:32

Thanks for asking, Deladion
I'm not too sure how I am, I'm okay for the most part, the hv advised I go to the docs Thursday for pnd, I've asked for a lot of help from them aswell, she's going to come out once a week so I've got someone to talk to, and they're gonna get this person. out that does bonding with your baby.

take baby out of the equation and I'm suffering awful with headaches again from my contraception, and generally down as I don't see adults as much as id like.

We don't have money problems, but we aren't flush, every month we break even so no money to save or do nice things with the kids.

I'm looking for work, but it'd have to be something on a night because we can't afford childcare, I'd like to be my own person again, even if I work 6 hours a week.

I struggle day to day getting out and about as eldest is too tired to walk anywhere after nursery, but not tired enough to nap first so we can go out later.

I bought a double.buggy but it's really squeaky, unbearable in fact. so I don't like to use it. it's been used twice.

My hair is a mess, I'm constantly tired, I'm carrying a lot more weight than I'd like.

I crave nothing more than one evening where I can have a bath and sleep, no children to put to bed, no husband to chat to. Just for me, nobody will babysit though.

but I'm plodding on, I know none of those listed above are really bad, and I.know there are people so much worse off than me, the exhaustion makes me look at things like they're so much worse Sad

bet you're sorry you asked now Wink haha.

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DeladionInch · 27/05/2015 08:36

Not at all sounds like you needed to get that out! Can you sling littlie and single buggy the big one?

It might seem monumental but can you leave dh to it and go swimming one evening? Exercise is good when you're a bit under the weather and would be a relief from the monotony at least

Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 27/05/2015 09:30

I had considered that, a sling I ordered has been dispatched yesterday so fingers crossed it'll be here today / tomorrow.

I've got a single buggy for biggest little one so I definitely think when sling comes I'll have to take them out like that.

I was at the gyn for a while but it takes ages to walk there and back so kind of takes over my WHOLE evening. I'm at a christening on Sunday and was going to.go.on my own with DD2 being so whingey, dh was going to keep her home and go to the park or something with her. I was going to leave dd1 aswell but feel I should take her cause it's a family/kiddie type event.

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Original poster
RavioliOnToast · 27/05/2015 19:03

sling arrived this morning and I love it! DD2 has been so happy in it today, she's been feeding less aswell. still vomiting loads and loads woth the gaviscon but all in all a happier baby today, even though she's now got chicken pox :(

also christening is cancelled Sunday for us, dh didn't bother telling me he was at work and as DD2 has chicken pox I can't really take her to anythingthat public.

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