how to stop the fucking crying!!!!

[RavioliOnToast]

I'm literally at my wits end. I'm going to lose the plot. My DD2 is 14 weeks and never fucking shuts up. I literally am not coping. I've just made cupcakes with DD1 and she screamed and screamed and screamed. I can't cope. I really wanted to hurt myself and scream and cry in sheer exasperation. I can't cope anymore. I feel like I hate my life and wished I had stopped at Dd1.

I know, very deep down that I love this little beautiful baby so so much and would never ever hurt any of them, I justfeel on the bottom, and genuinely feel like I'm not coping with life. I can't enjoy dd1 at all anymore cause DD2 is so much of a handful.

You have to give new milks a little time to work. It takes a little while. It does sound like reflux or cmpi.

My health visitor was shite btw, said DS couldnt have reflux because he was so big. Keep on with the gaviscon, it won't do any harm.

Yep, sounds very familiar. My dd3 was the same - if she was awake she was screaming. Our gp was shit and fobbed us off saying "babies cry" and after a full 13 hours of screaming one day - she was in too much pain to sleep - we went to A&E. Turned out she has cmpi and silent reflux. She couldn't tolerate the partially hydrolysed formula so is on an amino acid formula (nutramigen puramino) and is now on the max dose of omeprazole for her reflux. At 10 months she's like a different child - and has been for a good few months since the new milk and meds although the reflux affects her sleep at night still.

Take her to the gp and if they won't help then push for a paediatrician referral. I hope you manage to get her sorted, the screaming is soul destroying!

hardest thing ever to have a high needs baby. My kari me sling was the only thing that stopped me going properly insane. I mean it. It will pass. Sending hugs 'til it does.

sounds like DD! diagnosed (after I just lost my shit in the doctors office as I could not take it anymore ) with cows milk protein allergy and silent reflux. given nutramigen milk (LIFE CHANGER) and ranitidine. she was a different baby within a week.

I really had to push it as no HV that came around knew about cmpa but knew about lactose intolerance, which is really rare in babies. don't give up and please please please tell the doctors how you are feeling - do not be fobbed off.

babies who cry a lot, and I think you said vomit a lot are likely to have reflux.

That means their throats BURN every time they lie down, no wonder they scream.

Go and see a doctor and have it sorted out.

It is miserable for mother and baby. Don't downplay how bad it is.

My lovely DS1 cried and cried, and I remember standing by the front door feeling I just had to leave the house.

The stress of this is terrible, for the baby and for you.

get the help you both need.

You CANT spoil a baby. Whose telling you that? It's really not helpful. Of course you get a baby out of the buggy/wherever if they're crying! I can't imagine why you wouldn't and as you say they may well like being upright. They may well just want to be close to you too at times and that is ok too.

I found a wrap slign a saving grace. Mine still fed every 2 hours though for ages.

and gaviscon is not enough for reflux

My dd had reflux, gaviscon did nothing. I went to the drs and demanded we try something else. You either want ranitidine or omemprazole (losec) mups.
Dd tried both but on losec changed her.

Key signs of reflux for dd was lots of sick, arching when feeding, gurgly noises when lay down.

Things that helped that weren't medical:

Tummy sleeping, dd did this from seven weeks
Humidifier, a dry room irritated her nasal passages more
A cot wedge so she slept on a slope, so the acid wasn't burning her throat as much.

Hugs because I remember these horrific times, dd grew out of it at 6 months and has been fine ever since, but I remember ringing her consultant at 7 weeks and saying fix her or have her adopted. They admitted her to hospital and nailed the meds (as above).

You need to be clear on the symptoms and the reason you suspect reflux and what meds you want to try, be persistent but calm.

and yes, you cannot spoil a little baby! They are not trying to outfit you, they just communicate their basic needs (to be fed, to be warm and to not be in pain).

yes, cot wedge worked here too.

The main thing was proper burping/winding him.

A great big burp (or two) after every feed. I held him with his stomach leaning on my shoulder (almost as if I was throwing him over my back) which winded him nicely (bit of vomit in my hair every now and then small price to pay).

Also, I used the babybjorn a lot, to carry him around upright.

1.bp.blogspot.com/-ngMYpuPQ5Oc/UqTMTHt91HI/AAAAAAAACXA/6_lEfGOPUbg/s1600/2013-12-08.jpg

You can make the baby Bjorn more comfortable with a scarf under baby's bum - the link is a photo of how it goes.

You've done this before. You know it passes. You know you've done OK with dd1. Here's some for while it's still hell

Make sure she's not lying on the pillow, put it under the mattress to raise that instead or get some blocks for under the legs at the head end to raise the cot. Mine both responded well to slings and the babybjorn bouncy chair. We also got one of these www.amazon.co.uk/Snoozzz-Sleep-Positioner-and-Sleepwrap/dp/B002P98G46 Im not sure why it worked but it did and they can still move it's not restrictive but I think it comforts them feeling the material around the middle - maybe similar to the sling?!

Apols Cross post with dela but the babybjorn is a great bouncer!

I really feel for you. I've been there too and it's so so tough.

My twins cried constantly. I picked up a swing chair each and used to stock up on batteries, pop them in the swings in front of babytv and go and deal with my other two sons (4 & 16months old when the twins were born.) obviously it wasn't ideal but it saved my sanity. They found the swinging motion incredibly soothing!

www.babywearing.co.uk/sling-meet/

Ds was slung from birth (just in a cheap stretchy one from eBay to start) preschool were flabbergasted on his first day as he trotted straight off to play. When you've got some more energy have a look at Attachment Theory. Basically, a good early (first year or so) attachment to a primary care giver means a they feel more secure exploring later. Also Good Enough Parenting - meeting their basic needs of food, shelter, love - is enough to make you supermum.

thanks for all the tips, finally got DD1 down to bed after promising her we'd decorate cakes. Just ordered a sling wrap so hopefully that should be here by the end of the week. I'll sit tonight In bed while DH is at Foos and list all symptoms and what I think it is, and what I'd like to try for her. I hope something works soon,

just a little more advice though If you lot don't mind. based on what I've listed would you say it sounded more like reflux or cmpi?

or shall I just insist I'm referred to a specialist?

this has gone on for months now. It's really taking its toll. I bet it is on my poor DD aswell

I really feel for you and agree with pp re cows milk protein allergy. I was (still am) breastfeeding and we both went dairy and soya free which helped along with omeprazole. The only way I got any respite during the day was a baby swing - saved my sanity! And nighttime he slept on his front with a sensor monitor (this was before we knew anything about special pillows - it was one heck of a learning curve!). He was also on his front in his pram, unless he was propped up in his car seat.

Oh, and cmpi can cause reflux, so could be both xx we also found a product called coliccalm, from eBay and we are still using it as he still has really bad wind.

The aptamill or cow and gate thickened milk (anti regurgitation/reflux) you can get from boots was the only thing that worked for my baby. He went from spitting up constantly to never spitting up over night.

does this look like the right cot wedge?

My son cried for the first year .. Non stop!!! It was bloody awful looking back on it but we did get through it .. I totally feel your pain.. Just use the blooming sling .. I tried everything .. I found a swinging chair he liked and as soon as he was old enough a jumperoo worked really well ... Good luck

I'm glad you feel a bit better after reading the replies I would tell the health visitor everything tomorrow including how you are feeling you need some support sorting this out! Xx

Another vote for a swing - saved my sanity! The other twin never really used it, only DD!

We had this. It was so so so hard, it broke me.

We started her on medication for silent reflux and the crying stopped! Also had multiple allergies, and once all allergies were removed from diet, she finally settled.

From what you say about her eyes and wheeze it sounds a lot more like cmpi than just reflux, they are other symptoms of her immune system reacting to milk. Comfort formulas are partly hydrolysed so they can help with mild to moderate cmpi-induced reflux, but prescription hydrolysed or even milk free formulas will be more effective.