Worried about 18 mo DD

[BigFatPanda]

Morning. Was hoping someone can put my mind at ease or if you agree with me, point me in the right direction to get help.

DD is 18months old. She crawled at 9 months walked at 16. She's always been a "good" baby. Would go to anyone, was very calm a typical baby for her ages. Recently I've noticed a change in her.

She loves going to her nans but now she screams and crys if we meet her nan outside and not at her house

She has awful tantrums. Hitting, scratching, slapping, head butting, hitting her self in the face. She took her shoe off when we was out yesterday and hit me in the face with it!

She hums often and makes strange noises it's hard to explain. Like low level moaning. She just walks around making these sounds.

She only plays alone. Even at play group & the park. She won't play with her cousins who are the same age.

She has good concentration with some things. She can sit through the whole of Frozen and can sit and play with stones (beach) for literally hours. Quiet obsessive. No one can touch them and she gets upset if we have to leave.

She had few words like dog, mum, up, light but doesn't say them anymore instead she just babbles. She can say "eyes" but only if I ask where her eyes are

She kicks out a lot and is a constant fidget. I've never know her to sit still (unless watching frozen)

Does this sound like I should be worried about or normal baby behaviour? I was worried more about ADHD than ASD. She seems otherwise healthy

Longer than I intended Thank you if you got to the end!

Sounds fairly normal to me! My DS is two now he goes through stages of disliking things that we normally do like going on the bus or a certain programme on tv and then he will go back to being fine with it so I think the thing about her Nan is probably just a phase.
DS has good attention span for some things like his happyland stuff he can play with for ages but he never sits physically still even when reading a book on my knee or something he will be constantly fidgeting, I think some toddlers are just like that! Same with the not wanting people to touch stuff that they are "sorting" or whatever I think that's quite normal.
DS is only just starting to play with children now he certainly wasn't at 18 months. I don't think they really play together until they are nearer three.
Have you got a HV or a good GP you could ask just for reassurance?

The only thing I'd be concerned about would be the loss of words, the playing alone, obsessing, tantrums, not wanting to sit still all sounds like pretty normal toddler stuff!

Thanks for replying. My HVs aren't very good tbh. I could make an appointment with the go just didn't want to be seen as wasting time.

I'm worried about the playing alone bit as her cousins all play together
have a lot of words they all seem to be more advanced.

She is very clingy at the moment too so hopefully it's just a phase.

Does your DS do the humming to?

She's also started walking on her tip toes

This seems to me like something a practise nurse, at your local Doctors, may be a good starting point.

If she hit you in the face with a shoe once or twice, its normal in my experience of toddlers, if regular then mention to the nurse.

All toddlers hit scratch bite, this is where you gently but firmly point them in the right direction. Toddler bites toddler friend, No is said firmly to toddler, and then attention crucially is given to hurt toddler. Then all is forgiven and life moves on.

Do you take her out in the back garden, for little walks, toddlers like it if you follow them for a bit and just go with their flow for 20 min or whatever time you have spare.

It is normal for an 18 month old to play alone, children don't normally develop sharing skills, that enable friendships till 3 years approx.

It may not be what you want to hear, but a 2 hour film is too long to let her watch a screen, I would try to not watch tv if you can. Don't switch it on when you come down in the morning, put a few toys out, and just observe how long she likes to play.

Does she follow you around when your at home? can you let her "help" you put washing in the machine?

She is so little, talk to her, read her stories, sing nursery rhymes, all these things are linked to language development.

I also know life can be very hard with a toddler, and you may not feel like doing any of these things, Are you ok? How do you feel?

Just saw your reply Indeed.

Is the loss of words an indication of something being wrong? I've just tried to get her to say some words and she had mini tantrum

I seem to remember DS saying some words and then never saying them again or saying more words for a few weeks then going back to babbling. I think if she doesn't pick up more words in time that might be concerning but she is still very young to be talking. DS doesn't hum I don't think but he does male all kinds of noises! When she babbles can you recognise sounds in amongst it like bbb or anything? I think that is a good sign?

And, no it's gibberish!

Thanks poppy. I do tell her no, it's just send her over the edge even more. Yes she follows me around the house I've started to get her helping with lunch and breakfast and she loves to sweep with me or Hoover. I try to get out the house everyday for at least an hour and let her walk.

I read to her/at her as she's always on the move. We listen to music and I explain everything I'm doing, like dressing her, putting shoes on etc.

The film is long I know. Ive used it few times to get her to calm down when she's having a tantrum as a last resort.

I tell her No if she does something bad then she crys! (I do follow through though however much I feel bad)

I feel fine I'm not stressed i enjoy this stage a lot. I just don't want her to be struggling or suffering.

Your reply is very reassuring that all is well, you could give attention to good, and minimize attention to undesirable behaviour.

Tell her no and take your attention away from her after that, to a task that needs doing, if no one else around. But only say no for a few simple rules that are always the same.

Her cousins that play together, do they see each other more, or are they siblings that live in the same house?

Also toddlers need to move a lot to develop all their muscles, and same for speech, they need to practice making a lot of noises, name objects clearly for her, but you don't need to try to make her talk, let her make the noise she wants for her drink, and you say "you would like a drink" clearly, soon enough she will too, 18 months is young for speech.

I think you are doing well, toddlers also go through all sorts of phases, being confident, and then more clingy.

you could let her have bare feet as much as possible in the house, this might help walking development.

Sounds like a perfectly normal toddler to me, some children like to play on their own and there is nothing wrong with it. Also loss of words is pretty common. Don't worry!

It's not that loss of words specifically indicates something, it's just the only thing I personally would feel anxious about, I find myself worrying about speech more than other areas of development. My ds didn't babble at all which worried me hugely but he just started saying fully formed words when he started to speak so the worrying was for nothing!

I always say, it is the parents who have read all the 'instruction manuals' so think they know what should happen and when.

Unfortunately, the babies and toddlers HAVEN'T read them, and just go on doing WHAT they want, WHEN they want.

I don't think there is anything serious to worry about, but don't let her get TOO obsessed with 'Frozen'.

DD is nearly 18 months and does a lot of what you are describing - the tantrums, not wanting to stop an activity, on the go constantly - I'm told it's just normal toddler stuff!

Also just to say that she has just started to try walking on her toes and I was a little worried until my friend with a DD a few weeks older asked me if my DD was doing it as her DD was, so I think it must be a common thing at this age, she seems to have got bored with it now and walking backwards is the new 'thing'!

Hello there are possibly some flags with the loss of words and the humming/tiptoe walking. They could also be completely fine.

One question, does she point to things of interest and generally engage you with gestures?

Thanks for all the reassurance!

Hobart. She does point yes but no other gestures

Pointing is great news! It's a really tricky age, the flags could mean something or nothing.

It's worth getting yourself in the system though. I was exactly where you are 2 years ago and most things have resolved themselves apart from flapping so we're still under paediatric monitoring.

18 months - 2 (Easter to Sept) I have coined the summer of hell .. It does get better!

Also mine didn't teky say my much till gone 2. I've known to to 'revert' on skills and language while gaining (not obviously tho!) a new one! She's 2.8 months n a cpl of weeks and talks just fine (if she likes you!!)

I just posted about something similar which was very helpful for me deciding what was normal and what wasn't:

www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/diagnosis/screen-your-child

I know a fair bit about language development and losing all words is a bit of a worry. Ask your health visitor for a referral to speech therapy to be on the safe side.

I done that quiz. She scored 8 im going to take her to the HV tomorrow and make an appointment for gp too. I'm worried about being fobbed off. Is there anything in particular I need to ask for? Any tests?

What springtime said.